On October 17, 2023, we (my wife Angel and I) released our first book, Trading Faces. With around four million books published annually (one for every resident of Oklahoma!), an author can feel as though they’re contributing a grain of sand to a beach.[i] And there is truth to that! As the Preacher wisely reminds us in Ecclesiastes,

Is there a thing of which it is said,
    “See, this is new”?
It has been already
    in the ages before us. (Eccl. 1:10)

Indeed: nothing is truly new. Our hope wasn’t to contribute something new, but to bring a fresh approach to ancient truths about our identity to a culture desperately confused about who we are. Many liken authorship to giving birth. It’s true: our words might not be new, but they are weighted with love and labor.

 

Writing Trading Faces formed Angel and I as much as we formed it. We wrote the book because God had done (and continues to do) a work of stripping us of the false identities the world offers that keep us trapped and receiving the true identities Christ offers us in himself that allow us to walk in freedom. The book has changed the way I think of myself and God. For Angel it continues to deepen her compassion for others with a heightened awareness of how the enemy seeks to destroy through his lies. It has given us antennae to detect the subtle lies of the world. And it is has changed the way we pray.

 

Angel and I have been so grateful for those who have read the book. We recognize that every purchase speaks of the trust of the purchaser: you are entrusting your money, your time, and your heart to us. We are humbled by that trust and grateful.

 

We are even more encouraged by those who have been kind enough to share with us how God has used the book in their lives. We’ve heard from small groups who have gone through the book, churches who have used it as sermon series, and individuals who have been impacted. Most encouraging to us are those who have shared how much the book has changed the way they think about themselves and their relationship with God and transformed the way they pray. We would love to hear what was most impactful about the book to you.

 

So happy first birthday to our paper baby! Perhaps God might use Trading Faces in your life as well. We all know that we gain more when we do things together, so perhaps you might want to invite a friend to read it with you. Below is the Table of Contents and the beginning of the first chapter, “The Elusive Search.”

 

 

Contents

The Elusive Search

Chapter 1: Worthless or Image Bearer?

Chapter 2: Good or Sinner?

Chapter 3: Individualist or Servant?

Chapter 4: Personality Type or Sheep?

Chapter 5: Desires or Saint?

Chapter 6: Spouse or Bride?

Chapter 7: Parent or Son?

Chapter 8: Ideologue or Friend?

Chapter 9: Vocation or Gifted?

Chapter 10: Patriot or Ambassador?

Now What?

Appendix: Our Biblical Identities

 

The Elusive Search

When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.

—Ralph Ellison

One of the tragedies of our life is that we keep forgetting who we are.

—Henri Nouwen

Daniel Day-Lewis is known as one of the most committed method actors of our time. When he takes on a role, he embodies the character not only on camera but off camera, and only responds to his character’s name. For the movie In the Name of the Father, Day-Lewis lost fifty pounds and spent three days in solitary confinement without water. For his role as a man with cerebral palsy who could only use his left foot, Day-Lewis lived like the character off-set, getting carried or wheelchaired, and was hand-fed all his meals. During the filming of Gangs of New York, which was set in nineteenth-century New York, Day-Lewis caught pneumonia because he insisted on wearing period-specific clothing. He then refused to take modern medicine and almost died as a result.[1]

“That is crazy!” we exclaim. And yet, many of us have spent our lives embodying roles that are not our true identities. We have lost track of what ultimate reality is.

Humans have been wearing emotional masks since they exited the garden of Eden. We try on identities, attempting to discover one where we find affirmation, peace, and security. We put on masks of vocation, role, and achievement, hoping to find the contentment we desperately long for.

No matter how many masks we put on, happiness eludes us. Rates of depression and suicide have never been higher. Marriages fail at alarming rates. More individuals in the United States have substance addictions than those who have cancer.[2] The happiness our masks promise remains out of reach for most.

How then can we find happiness? How can we be at peace? We believe the answer is found in two words: true identity.

We find peace only when we experience the painful but gentle unmasking at God’s hands.

Who are you? When you take off the masks, what is there? We invite you to stop right now. Don’t read another word. Answer that question: Who are you? Write it in the margin or at the back of the book. We’ll come back to it later.

Who Are You?

Wait a minute. Haven’t we tried to find happiness through identity already?

In 1992, Robin Williams, voicing the genie, coaxed Aladdin, “Remember, be yourself.” Nearly thirty years later, with a culture steeped in a “be yourself” philosophy, we are more lost than ever. We’ve tried to be ourselves through our relationships, our careers, our parenting, our sexuality, and our patriotism. The genie’s advice has failed. This isn’t because we have neglected to live out the admonition but because we have never understood who we are. We have substituted false identities for our true identity.

As a counselor (Angel) and pastor (John), we’ve had hundreds of conversations with those who struggle to understand their purpose and find happiness. We believe purpose and happiness flow from understanding our true identity. It’s not surprising, then, that few of those who are struggling can satisfactorily answer the most basic question: Who are you?

How We Talk to Ourselves

It is no accident that the New Testament writers make direct statements of truth about themselves and their readers. It is not enough for the truths of our identities in Christ to be passively received, like a child might memorize a list of United States presidents or states to simply say they know who they or where they are located. Is naming them enough? It isn’t what we know; it is what we do with what we know. Therein lies the power.

[1] Stephen Barker, “9 Times Daniel Day-Lewis Took Method Acting to the Extreme,” Screen Rant, February 6, 2022, https://screenrant.com/daniel-day-lewis-wild-method-acting-stories/#:~:text=In%20My%20Left%20Foot%2C%20Day,preparations%20to%20the%20next%20level.

[2] Josh Hafner, “Surgeon General: 1 in 7 in USA Will Face Substance Addiction,” USA Today, November 17, 2016, https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/11/17/surgeon-general-1-7-us-face-substance-addiction/93993474.

[i] https://www.tonerbuzz.com/blog/how-many-books-are-published-each-year/

You May Also Appreciate:

The Long Journey of Self-Discovery in a Culture of Confusion

Photo by Melanie Rosillo Galvan on Unsplash