This past fall, my family and I visited our daughter Camille while she was studying abroad in England. It was our first time in the UK. We crammed in as much of the country as we could in two weeks, including cathedrals across the isle. You might expect our experience at the various cathedrals to be rather uniform, but they were each unique in their own right. And while there were certain cathedrals that we really appreciated because of their beauty, our favorites were those that were hospitable.

In London, we had the opportunity to visit Westminster Abbey for her renowned Vesper’s service. As we lined up outside, clergy served as greeters. They were clearly nonplussed that they had drawn the short straw of this post. They ushered the crowd into the abbey with constant shushing and reminders that absolutely no photography or videography was allowed. When they began seating us, they scowled and reprimanded several who were confused by the directions. At the start of the service, when several who were clearly non-English speakers pulled out their phones to begin to take photographs or video, the clergy reacted as though weapons had been drawn, grabbing the devices, turning them off, and forcing them back into bags.

While the service was lovely, the environment left us feeling like we had put out the staff. We all exhaled when we departed the building, feeling like we had been holding our collective breath during the service.

Later on, we visited Durham Cathedral, where St. Bede is buried. We were welcomed by smiling clergy who handed us a visitor’s guide, encouraged us to take as much time as we would like, and invited us to ask questions. Other staff meandered through the cathedral, making themselves available to us while warmly sharing a few stories of its history. At the top of the hour, a priest invited those in the cathedral to join him in a brief prayer. He prayed the Lord’s prayer, gave us a moment of silence, and then concluded the prayer. When we left, we all exhaled in the cool air, wanting to hold onto the feeling of being welcomed as long as possible.

Tucked into the two lists of qualifications of elders is that seemingly out-of-place word: “hospitable” (1 Tim. 3:2 and Tit. 1:8). Why would “hospitable” make the cut as something every elder must be marked by?

We Americans have a fairly narrow understanding of that word. We might think of inviting neighbors over to our last minute tidied up house for food, drink, and entertainment. If we are honest, much of hospitality revolves around ourselves. We want to give our neighbors an invitation to experience how nice and generous we are. When they arrive, we want to show off our clean house (cue the stuffing of the junk drawer) and stand in awe of how well put together we are.

Biblical hospitality forefronts our neighbor, not ourselves. Hospitality is about making someone else feel honored, loved, and comfortable. Consider Jesus, who had no home of his own, and yet demonstrated profound hospitality. Imagine how Jesus made Zacchaeus feel when he invited himself over to his home? Or the honor he showed Mary as he discipled her in her home. This is hospitality: generously offering your neighbor your attention, honor, and care.

Viewed from the lens of your neighbor, how hospitable are you? Viewed from the perspective of the visitor, how hospitable is your church?

There are some who, in their desire to course correct from the weaknesses of the attractional church (poor discipleship, weak theology), have seemed to almost revel in creating non-attractional churches. I have no desire to bait and switch someone to the gospel, but let’s be careful not to excise hospitality from our churches and homes.

The author of Hebrews takes his cues of hospitality from Abraham. “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Heb. 13:2). In other words, don’t underestimate the stakes of hospitality. Abraham exemplifies generous hospitality to strangers who divinely appear as three men bringing the radical revelation that aged Sarah will bear a son. “And the Lord appeared to him by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the door of his tent in the heat of the day. He lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, three men were standing in front of him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the earth and said, “O Lord, if I have found favor in your sight, do not pass by your servant” (Gen 18:1-3).

What are we to learn from how Abraham practiced hospitality? He viewed himself as a “servant” to these “three men”, one of whom he calls “Lord.” He bestows upon them humble respect and high regard as he “ran,” “bowed,” and “went quickly.” Abraham offers them cleanliness and rest while he prepares a sizeable, lavish, and expensive meal. Abraham then attends to them like an attentive waiter on standby.

Abraham is an extravagant host! He illustrates layers of biblical hospitality to three strangers, recognizing one as the Lord. What layer(s) do you feel called to demonstrate to your future guests so that they leave your home feeling warmly cared for? 

We are to be a hospitable people: a people marked by the warmth of Durham Cathedral, not the chill of Westminster Abbey.

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Photo by Zaymuel on Unsplash