Who is your favorite celebrity? Your favorite political pundit? Your favorite politician?
Why are you drawn to these individuals? Maybe it is their personality. Perhaps it is because you respect their convictions. Possibly, it is because of their unique style.
Taylor Swift might be the most beloved celebrity in the world. Many have commented that one of the reasons that Swift has cultivated such a devoted following is her accessibility and down-to-earth qualities, from what she wears to the love stories she writes about in her music.
Bart Ehrman has perhaps done more to undermine the credibility of the Bible than anyone else in my lifetime. But his story didn’t begin that way. Ehrman is a New Testament scholar and skeptic. Ehrman grew up in a Christian home, attended a conservative Bible school, and then found his way to a liberal seminary where his faith in the God of the Bible unraveled. That seminary happens to be the seminary I would attend a couple of decades later.
For Ehrman, everywhere he looks he sees holes in the biblical story. The inconsistencies that he sees have led him to determine that he cannot trust in the God of the Bible.
“Don’t listen to your feelings; remember what Jesus did for you!”
“Don’t be guided by your feelings; listen to what God commands you to do!”
In just the past week, I heard both of these warnings. Two very different Christian speakers urged their audiences to shut down their feelings. These admonitions resonate. They contain truth. It is correct that our feelings don’t override truth, nor do our emotions negate what God has done. Neither do our feelings give us an out for what God commands us to do.
I had outsized emotions as a child. Games, especially, would get the best of me, whether cards or boardgames or sports. In response to a stroke of bad luck, a hot surge of anger would erupt, followed quickly by tears and then embarrassment.
Emotions are God’s gift to us in many ways. They are one of his kind ways of showing us where our deep attachments lie.
Our son started his freshman year at the University of Arizona this fall. It’s been a great experience for him, but not without its adjustments. The climate of a secular school is quite different than the Christian school he graduated from
Most have heard of the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment. In 1970, psychologist Walter Mischel invited kids into his lab. A child was offered a marshmallow that they could eat, or, if they waited until the researcher returned, they were given a second marshmallow. About one-third of the kids waited approximately fifteen minutes for the additional reward.
The study then tracked those children over time and found that children who waited for the second reward tended to have higher SAT scores and lower body mass indexes. Later tests have challenged those outcomes, but it hasn’t stopped parents everywhere from running the experiment on their kids, often with humorous results.
There is no topic we love discussing more than ourselves. The self-discovery industry has never had more pull than it does in the contemporary West.
Christians might be tempted to push back on all of the obsession of self-discovery and reject it as ungodly. John Calvin, the 16th-century French Reformer, would disagree with this assessment. In the first chapter of Calvin’s Institutes, the Reformed theologian makes a point about self-understanding and our relationship that might surprise you.
On October 17, Angel and my first book, Trading Faces: Removing the Masks that Hide Your God-Given Identity releases. Below is an excerpt. May God invite us deeper in knowing him as we discover who we are in him.
Daniel Day Lewis is known as one of the most committed method actors of our time. When he takes on a role, he embodies the character not only on camera but off camera, and he only responds to his character’s name. For the movie In the Name of the Father, Day-Lewis lost fifty pounds and spent three days in solitary confinement without water.
Modern science has confirmed the power of replacing negative self- talk with positive affirmations. Studies have shown that the practice of making daily affirmations decreases stress, increases the amount of time exercising, and may even lower the risk for cardiovascular disease.
When Angel and I read these studies, we were surprised by the verifiable impact of positive self-affirmations. But we also question the way positive affirmations are taught and used. Our culture tells us to replace negative self-talk with affirmations based not in our identities in Christ but in our aspirations.
So, who are you? Many respond to that question by sharing their roles: “I am a mom.” “I am a dad.” “I am a sister.” “I am a wife.” “I am a husband.” “I am a lawyer.” “I am a teacher.” “I am an athlete.”
It’s not surprising that we answer the question this way. One of the first questions we ask children is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s a fine question, but by asking it over and over again, we teach kids that they are what they do. We coach our children to substitute roles for true identities.
Gospel Hope for Self-Haters: David Powlison with a layered analysis of something many struggle with. “He is actually saying something that competes with the false voices, and it is not just something you rehearse in your own head. He’s actually inviting you to come out of yourself, out of the death spiral, the vortex of self-hatred, as we are talking about it right now.”
Men and Emotions: I’ve spent a lot of time working with men on this issue (and myself!) and love Joseph Hussung’s approach. He explains, “The purpose of using these tools is simple. We need to be able to express our emotions. We need to be able to express them to our Lord, and we need to be able to express them to others.”
What’s Beneath it all? Sylvia Schroeder considers her cries to God for her daughter’s life, “Were my begging pleas like the Israelites in the Old Testament in their whining complaints? Did my request resemble theirs when they craved meat and disdained manna in the wilderness? Did He grow tired of my pleas?”
Banksy and Beauty from Ashes: Tim Challies with a reflection on a graffiti artist’s statement, “Not too long ago, I read that the mysterious artist Banksy had created several new murals in Ukraine. Going to locations that had experienced the fury of war, he found broken and damaged buildings and used them as his canvas.”
Four Reasons to Be Early to the Sunday Gathering: I appreciate Jacob Crouch’s simple admonitions to church-goers here, “Try showing up just 10 minutes early next week. This isn’t a law from on high, but I really think this could be a prudent way to make the most of a Sunday morning.”
Who is the person you compare yourself to most often? Perhaps it is a family member, friend, or co-worker; perhaps it is even a celebrity. We humans are comparison machines. We’re constantly evaluating the stimuli around us. Social media has exacerbated the issue, giving us instant access into the highlight reels of thousands of friends and celebrities. Psychology Today reports that, “According to some studies, as much as 10 percent of our thoughts involve comparisons of some kind.” Friend, this kind of toxic comparison is harmful.
11 Statistical Tips for a Healthy Marriage: Aaron Earls considers how much the research supports biblical wisdom for marriage. For instance, “Research finds couples are 31 percent less likely to get divorced if they have some pre-marriage training.”
5 Myths About Porn: Ray Ortlund debunks five lies. For instance, “Porn has no lasting impact. You can stop at any time. You are in control. The myth says, “You can even budget your porn use. Hold back during those times when you need to be at your best for Christ or for your family or whatever. But then, after you’ve been good for a while, you can jump back in—no problem.” Really? Sin is that easy, and our freedom is that negotiable?”
God’s View of Gender Dysphoria and the Transgender Movement: Eric Geiger begins, “Imagine being a teenager who doesn’t feel at home in your own body. You never felt you met the typical gender stereotypes of guys playing with trucks and rough sports and girls dressing up and play with dolls. You aren’t happy, and you so badly want to be happy. Like all teenagers through all generations, you want a sense of identity, of who you are. You would love to be known for something, to be celebrated. You watch lots of Tik-Tok videos about others who have changed their gender identity, and they recount stories of being celebrated and affirmed for their courage.”
The Great Deception: Kristin begins, “I have been told that my first sentence was this: I do it.”
Consider Suffering Joy? Robby Lashua asks, “What good might God be using suffering for?
7 Lessons I’ve Carried From ‘Narnia’: Kaitlin Miller begins with this lesson, “Grief is Great: In The Magician’s Nephew, Digory, in deep despair over his mother’s illness, is shocked when the great Lion bends down with such great shining tears that Digory felt the Lion may have been even more sorrowful.”
Can You Share the Gospel with Sexual Sinners Without Sounding Like a Bigot? Alen Shlemon shares, “Part of the reason for expecting people to get upset by your convictions on sexual matters is that people closely connect their identity with their sexuality.”
The Many Odd Uses and Abuses of Matthew 18: Keith Evans explains what Jesus’s important passage on confronting the sins of your brother means and doesn’t mean. For instance, “Jesus addresses public persons publicly. Recall his scathing condemnation of Herod (Luke 13:32), or his many public “woes” (i.e. “curses”) pronounced upon the pharisees (cf. Matt 23:13-39). We can almost hear the modern Christian retort: ‘Yes, Jesus, but did you confront all of them privately first?!’”
When Self-Care Becomes Self-Absorption: Trevin Wax helps provide some perspective here on where generations can swing too far in either direction. He begins, “I saw a funny video recently that joked about the generational shift in how we view practices of self-care and therapy. In the old days: ‘You’re in therapy? What’s wrong with you?’ Today: ‘You’re not in therapy? What’s wrong with you?’”
Painters who aren’t parents vs. painters who actually have kids: Ha!
The rise of reality TV and then social media has radically increased transparency. Team Transparency has rallied around #nofilter selfies and sharing even the frustrating and discouraging parts of life. Team Self-Respect has rallied around calls for decency and the need for some last bastion of privacy. Team Transparency has attacked Team Self-Respect for their filtered and prettied-up lives, for mushy posts about significant others, and for bragging about their kids. Team Self-Respect has attacked Team Transparency for their self-importance and oversharing about bad bosses and relationships, and shaming their spouses and children.
So, which team is right? Should we be transparent?
Can you change in 2023? Yes, yes, you can! And that change begins not by never giving up on you, but by never giving up on God. He has made you for something far bigger and far more satisfying than what the world offers. And he promises that when you give up on yourself, you will change….May 2023 be the year we behold his face. Are you willing to give to God your plans, hopes, dreams, and desires to experience his transformation? The reward is worth the price.
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