What’s your favorite family memory? What is your favorite memory of church? What is your favorite holiday memory? Recollecting can bring warm feelings toward people and fond memories of places. Nostalgia can stoke gratitude. It appears that God rejoices in godly nostalgia. Take a look at Psalm 78 or Psalm 105, where God takes his people on a tour of their past, and we see his faithfulness on display.
Last week we enjoyed time together on a family vacation: we ate good food, laughed, and played lots of games. I lingered on each moment. Angel and I have been holding tightly memories these days. Our son (18) and daughter (20) are home for the summer. Our daughter has already committed to spend next summer serving in a national park ministry and will graduate the summer after that. Who knows what is ahead for our son, but we recognize that this will likely be our last summer with the four of us together. No less than once a week I share a photo with the family prompted by the memory feature on my iPhone (my favorite feature, bar none). Last week my iPhone popped up a four-year-old photo of our son and daughter back-to-back. He had equaled her height and was beaming. My daughter’s face was scrunched up, as though she could effort herself to grow another quarter of an inch. As we looked at the picture, we laughed at how wound up she was about being passed up.
Nostalgia takes us back to sweet memories and can prompt our hearts to praise God for his goodness and faithfulness. Nostalgia can also make us grateful for friendships and family. Nostalgia can be a force for good. And yet. There is danger in nostalgia.
The perfect isn’t behind us
Nostalgia can make it seem as though the perfect lies behind us. When we reminisce, there can be a halo effect over times and places in our past that distorts reality. We remember a vacation fondly, thinking that our family was delighted in that season of our lives, only to forget the squabbles on vacation, or the Monopoly game that ended in tears. We recollect a sweet season in a church we used to go to, but forget that the church was pretty insider-focused and had a poor evangelistic outreach. We fondly remember working for a company that was making a big difference in its industry, but expunge our overly critical boss.
When we view certain seasons of our lives as rosier than they were, it can make things now seem worse than they are. Our relationships or career or church now seem more lackluster than they are. Our gratitude for the past might be coupled with ingratitude for the present.
God purposes everyone to grow and change
Nostalgia can also handicap us from caring well for those God has placed in front of us today. There is a danger in me wanting to have our kids return to their five, eight, eleven, or fourteen-year-old selves. God has numbered their days and has purposed their growth and development. It’s easier for me to think of them as children than young adults. I (mostly) figured out how to parent them as children; I still have a lot of work to figure out how to parent them today and six months from today.
God desires that every person and entity grow into maturity. I’m not loving the church well if I try to recreate the days of yesteryear. Those were for then. How is the church going to grow into the community God has called it to be today? I’m not loving the friends in my life today well if I am comparing them to the friends God gifted me with a decade ago in a different setting.
Nostalgia won’t fix your sorrow
We can be tempted to run to nostalgia when we are down. Dante Alighieri said, “There is no greater sorrow than to recall a happy time when miserable.” If we return to times of joy to cultivate praise to God and strengthen our trust in him, then lean into your nostalgia. But if you return to seasons of happiness only to revel in your sorrow, then be wary of where your heart is taking you.
It is no surprise that marketing companies worldwide use nostalgia to encourage you to purchase their products. From Coke to Pepsi to Ford to Chevy to Nike to Apple, brands know that if they can connect you to the warm glow of your past, they can get you to open your wallet.
The best is yet to come
Let’s not forget that while we are invited to remember God’s faithfulness in our past, he ultimately calls us not backward, but forward to the new heavens and the new earth. What lies ahead of us is far, far greater than the highest moments in our past.
There are many good things about nostalgia, but it isn’t without its dangers. Be wary of ingratitude that can be multiplied with memories of good times. Be cautious of self-pity that can be attendant. Be careful not to be manipulated by nostalgia. And do not lose sight of the great future ahead of us in Christ Jesus.
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Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash