Last week, we considered the challenge of helping teenagers make the transition from going to church to being engaged in church in such a way that ultimately helps them choose to stay engaged in the church as adults.
Last week we considered the power of ownership: inviting students to use their gifts and have ownership in the ministry of the church. This week we flip the coin to a second powerful ingredient in helping your teenager want to go to church.
That ingredient is your engagement in the faith and the church.
A recent poll by Lifeway Research[i] reported that teenagers who dropped out of church are less likely to say their parents:
Provided spiritual guidance (66% of those who dropped out of church said their parents provided guidance vs. 78% of those who stayed in church said their parents provided spiritual guidance)
Regularly attended church (77% of those who dropped out vs. 83% of those who stayed in church)
Genuinely liked church (44% of those who dropped out vs. 59% of those who stayed in church)
Actively served in the church (28% of those who dropped out vs. 37% of those who stayed in church)
Regularly discussed spiritual things (22% of those who dropped out vs. 36% of those who stayed in church)
Prayed together regularly as a family (23% of those who dropped out vs. 35% of those who stayed in church)
Read the Bible together regularly as a family (10% of those who dropped out vs. 18% of those who stayed in church)
It’s worth reading each one of those bullet points slowly and taking them in. They can be broken into two different categories: faith leadership in the home and church commitment.
The difference in impact might seem small (most are around 10%), but the cumulative difference is huge.
Provided spiritual guidance (66% of those who dropped out vs. 78% of those who stayed in church)
Regularly discussed spiritual things (22% vs. 36%)
Prayed together regularly as a family (23% vs. 35%)
Read the Bible together regularly as a family (10% vs. 18%)
First, take note of how few teens who grew up in the church say that their parents discussed spiritual things, prayed together, and read the Bible. Young adults who grew up in the church are speaking loudly and clearly: their families didn’t talk about God, pray to God, or read his Word together. But look at the incremental impact of each of those activities. Families that discussed spiritual things or prayed together regularly saw their young adults transition into regular church attendance at an over 50% higher rate than those who didn’t. Those who read the Bible together saw their young adults attend church at an 80% higher rate. That is staggering.
Let’s take a look at parental church engagement:
Regularly attended church (77% of those who dropped out vs. 83% of those who stayed in church)
Genuinely liked church (44% vs. 59%)
Actively served in the church (28% vs. 37%)
Again, the numbers can seem underwhelming at first. Let’s zero in on the bottom two numbers. If your kids think you enjoy going to church, they’re 25% more likely to attend. And if you actively serve, your kids are 33% more likely to attend church as a young adult. Those are pretty significant.
The conclusion of these findings is pretty simple, isn’t it? Do you want your kids to actively engage their faith as adults? Then pray together, talk about spiritual things together, and read God’s Word regularly together. Do you want your kids to go to church? Make them know how much you appreciate your church and engage in serving.
Our faith is caught by our kids more than it is taught. Our kids are watching us and they see our atittudes leak out, they observe the patterns and habits we set for ourselves and our families, they know our priorities by our schedules. May we as parents take a look at our own hearts and lean in joyfully in Christ-exalting leadership in our homes.
Part 1: How to Get Your Teenager to Want to Go to Church
Photo credit: Taylor Images
[i] https://lifewayresearch.com/2020/09/14/want-faithful-teens-and-young-adults-disciple-faithful-parents/