Today I hand this space over to my daughter, Camille, a rising junior in college. I asked Camille what advice she would offer to those who are making the jump from high school to college. Even if it doesn’t apply to you, I bet you’ll be interested in what she has to say.
-John
I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.
Philemon 1:4-7
Recently, my brother shook the hand of our headmaster, smiled for the camera, and received his high school diploma. I’m two years older than my brother—just old enough to see around the next bend, but close enough to empathize with the challenges of transitioning from high school to the great beyond.
Leaving the nest for college, trade school, or work is daunting. The idea of adulting is intimidating, and leaving the safety of what you’ve known your whole life for a new adventure is frightening. I wanted to bless my brother with some wisdom for the transition ahead. God knew exactly what I needed and timed my personal Bible time to give me words to encourage my brother.
Paul’s letter to Philemon might seem like an odd place to find insight on how to navigate the transition from high school to college. Paul writes Philemon about a sticky situation. Philemon’s slave Onesimus had stolen from him and fled. Paul urges Philemon to forgive Onesimus, and bring him back into his home not as a slave, but as a brother-in-Christ.
Paul’s letter provides powerful insight into how we can live faithfully in new seasons. By placing ourselves in the spot of Philemon, we receive powerful encouragement from Paul, and wisdom for how to deal with challenging people. This passage is filled with encouragement, grace, and forgiveness.
Our need for the family of faith
Paul begins his words to Philemon, encouraging his strength in the faith (see vs 4,5,& 7). As you graduated high school, I hope you received blessings and encouragement from fellow believers, teachers, family, youth groups, or friends. Do not ignore or dismiss encouragement. God utilizes his bride to uplift each other up for their good and his glory. Store up these kind words in your heart.
Dwelling on encouragement is not prideful, and it is not selfish. Thank God for the ways he has used you in the past to be a blessing and pray fervently that he will continue to use you in the future. No matter what season of life you are going into, rejoice in God’s faithfulness in the past, trusting he will provide for you, and use you tomorrow.
Being used by God means you must be connected to the vine, with other branches of believers who are sprouting up with you. The bride of Christ is a beautiful life-giving space. So many teens and young adults disconnect from the church as early as the age of 16.[1] The freedom that college affords can make church seem like a non-necessity. Many college students convince themselves that they just need Jesus, not the church. But this is not biblical. We are part of Christ’s body, and the body needs us, and we need it (1 Cor. 12). Faithfully being part of a local church will likely be uncomfortable initially—you might be going without your parents for the first time, you will have to make friends with adults, seniors and everyone in between, and it will likely not suit as many of your preferences as you would like. Yet these many quirks are part of why the church is so good for you. So, find a faithful, gospel-preaching church, and figure out how you can serve.
Our call to evangelize
Paul prays a blessing over Philemon. He prays, “that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.” God is about to use you for good things in the coming season. Don’t waste the opportunities that lie ahead for you. Paul assumes in this prayer that Philemon is sharing his faith. So that is where we must begin, by sharing our faith.
I attend a Christian college and expected my classmates to be committed Christians. One of the surprises that awaited me was that more than a few who claimed to be Christians didn’t know God. I was surprised that the Lord has chosen to use me in his work of evangelism, even on a Christian campus! Watching the Holy Spirit coming ablaze in my friends has been the greatest joy in my first two years at college.
One of the most significant things I’ve learned in sharing the gospel is not to assume others’ stories, but intentionally enter in to ask questions, and lovingly pursue the parts of people that are unseen. In tender conversation and asking hard questions, God opens doors to share my faith with them. As we are faithful in sharing, the Holy Spirit is working on hard hearts. Trust in God in this new season. Trust that he is using your story to bless and encourage others. So be fully yourself, and fully allow God to bless others through you.
Loving the hard-to-love
After Paul penned the letter to Philemon, he chose a questionable carrier: Onesimus. Can you imagine the courage Onesimus must have had? What trust did he have in his new Christian identity to humbly return to the person he betrayed? Especially when that person was his master who had the power of Rome behind him to punish and re-enslave him!
My heart goes out to Onesimus. Even though he is walking into the place he grew up in, he is no longer the same person. He betrayed, then was forgiven and redeemed by God. But will he be forgiven by Philemon? God has done a glorious work in Onesimus, but if Philemon is not filled with grace, then Philemon will miss out on the work that God is doing.
College is filled with many who seem to be “too far gone” or “too much,” but do not let your judgment of people deter you from loving them well. As an incoming freshman, I had the privilege of arriving on campus early to work on a theatre show, which meant I had a two-week head start on the rest of the freshmen to make friends and find my place. When the other freshmen arrived for orientation I was distraught! I loved my little theatre gang, and the incoming freshmen seemed insecure, nervous, and immature. The idea of being friends with any of them sounded terrible. The only conversations that the girls seemed to have revolved around which cute boys they had seen, and the boys… well, they just seemed like there wasn’t much in the attic. So, I proudly stuck my head in the theatre sand and avoided as many orientation activities as possible.
This was foolish. Fortunately, God broke down my hard heart and brought many friends across many majors into my life. If my friend group were confined to those who are theatre majors like me, I would be stuck in a tiny circle, with very similar worldviews. But having many friends, with many backgrounds, and different areas of interest, my worldview has been challenged, my faith enriched, and evangelism opportunities have been many. We do not know how Philemon responded to Onesimus when he arrived, but the inclusion of the letter in the canon hints it was likely positive. None are beyond God’s work of grace. Pursue people, and befriend as many as you can. Humbly seek out others as God will use you to bless them and them to bless you.
Wherever we are in life, God is calling us to himself, and to engage in his good work. This ministry covers the entirety of your life; no corner should be sequestered from the work that God wants to do through you. College is no different. Our President said on opening weekend, “You will leave a different person than when you came in, if you do not, then we did not do our jobs.” I hated it when he said that! I remember thinking to myself, I like the person I am now! I do not want to change! But God disciplines and sanctifies those he loves (Heb. 12). He calls us on his mission, to his kingdom, which will look so radically different than any of us could ever dare to dream or think. Don't be afraid of changing, because God is shaping you into the person he wants you to be. Be open-minded to the work he wants to do in you, and the people he wants you to bless. By stepping into our colleges, or new seasons of life with this truth, God will use us to be loved, and to love others.
[1] https://news.gallup.com/poll/467354/childhood-churchgoing-habits-fade-adulthood.aspx
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