While I grew up in a gospel-preaching church that formed the lifelong foundation for my faith, my theological awakening occurred in college. As I grew up in theology, I began to turn my nose up on some of the worship of my youth.
I had outgrown Precious Moments Christianity and left behind worship that felt like nothing more than love songs to Jesus. I’m thinking of sentimental songs like “Above All” where we sang,
Like the rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
Or, more painfully, “How He Loves” where we belted,
He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath, the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful you are,
And how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how he loves us so
Oh, how he loves us so
How he loves us so
Later, the song awkwardly announces, “So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest.”
I looked down on these theologically thin offerings and rolled my eyes. Jesus isn’t our boyfriend.
But what if he is? Or at least, he’s closer to our boyfriend than the cosmic college professor I had turned him into?
Recently, God has used the Song of Songs to convict me of my tendency to keep him at arm’s length and engage him more with my mind than my heart.
The Song of Songs is a series of love poems sung by a man and a woman to each other. It has been asked many times: what is Song of Songs doing in the Bible? As an undergraduate biblical-theological studies major, I cut my teeth on a school of thought that the simple and only answer to that question was that Song of Songs was in the Bible to speak to the joy and gift of marital love. This position challenged interpreters who believed that while also about human love, Song of Songs ultimately was an allegory of God’s deep love for his people. Many of the ancient interpreters of the text had taken the position that the Song of Songs was ultimately about God’s love for us. Modern interpreters shook their heads at the embarrassing naivete of such a position. Surely, it was only because such interpreters were uncomfortable with sex that they would come to such a position.
In recent years, some interpreters have begun reclaiming the ancient interpretation of the Song of Songs and pushing back against the dominant modern interpretation that Song of Songs is only about human love. God used one of these interpreters—Juilian Hardyman—to challenge my heart.
Julian Hardyman’s Jesus, Lover of my Soul argues that the primary purpose of the Song of Songs is to demonstrate God’s profound love for his people. “The Song of Songs is doing the same thing as the rest of scripture. It is a beautiful picture of human love, but it constantly points us beyond human intimacy to Jesus as the Lover of our souls.” Hardyman argues that the very name of the book points to the ultimate love of God. “So, for this Song to call itself ‘Song of Songs’ is a very big claim. The text itself is claiming to be the greatest song ever written, including all the songs in the Bible. But if it is merely about human love and intimacy, that means it is claiming that those are greater than the divine love praised in Psalm 111 and elsewhere.”
Song of Songs forces the reader to consider God's intense love for us and let us navigate that impact. How uncomfortable is it for me to think of Jesus as my husband? Very. How awkward is it for me to believe that Jesus longs for me? Very. How uncomfortable is it for me to believe that Jesus delights in me? Very.
You’ve heard it said that the Bible is God’s love letter to us. And it is true. Why then do I recoil to receive God’s desire for me? It is false humility that has me deflect the deep affections of God. An intellectual relationship is safe. It is allergic to the emotional and intimate invitation of our Triune God.
Christ’s love is hard to receive. How can Jesus want us? Hardyman answers, “The grace of God does not find but creates that which is pleasing to it.”
And Jesus longs for us to return his affections.
In the gospels, Jesus tells us that we are to be like a bride, longingly awaiting the arrival of our groom. He tells us that he is spiritual water for us. He is the spiritual bread we are to consume.
Maybe the “boyfriend” music of my teen years was more right than I thought.
“Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so,” children sing. How right they are.
Jesus loves you. Do you love him?
Your Heart Won’t Stop by John Mark McMillan
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Image: Watercolor depiction of How He Loves by Bing AI Image Generator