In the last post I confessed my sin of narcissism. It’s true, I can be a selfish and self-serving leader.
If it were only so easy to defend ourselves against sins from one direction. One of my favorite little leadership books to come out in the past few years has been Trevin Wax’s The Multi-Directional Leader. Wax’s thesis is simple: most leaders are only concerned about threats that come from one direction, but any shepherd knows that threats come from all sides. A wise leader is aware not just of one threat from one direction, but many threats from many directions.
In the 90s and early 2000s, most leadership books were very aware of the danger of a leader’s cowardice. The pendulum has swung and the spotlight is now on narcissism, but that doesn’t mean that cowardice is not just as much of a threat now as it was twenty years ago.
As I consider my leadership, I can also be a cowardly leader. I ask for your forgiveness and for your prayers just as much for my cowardice as for my selfishness.
As I reflect upon on my own leadership, I consider the implications of my past cowardice. My timidity as a husband cost me dearly early in our marriage. When Angel was spiraling spiritually, I was too spineless to demand that we seek a counselor, or at least go to a counselor myself. I compounded that with denial and a choice to timidly acquiesce to her spending sprees. I was complicit in allowing our marital failures to remain the status quo. It is only by God’s grace and the Spirit’s rescuing power that our marriage was redeemed and restored.
I confess my cowardice as a pastor. I have feared confronting ungodly behavior. I have been fainthearted in allowing poorly performing volunteers and staff members to continue in their positions. I have been timid when I presented budget proposals to our elders. I have been cowardly in not championing a vision I believe God is leading us toward.
With our collective cultural attention focused on the dangers of self-interested leaders, we might have a blind spot toward the dangers of cowardice.
Scripture has no such blind spot. Consider Israel on the edge of the Promised Land. Twelves spies are sent to Canaan to report back on the lavish and lush land that God had fashioned for them. They witnessed the verdancy of the land when they reported back “It flows with milk and honey” (Num. 13:27) and its grapes were so magnificent that a single cluster had to be carried on a pole between two men (Num. 13:23).
And yet the visible manifestation of God’s faithfulness was overshadowed by their fear of those who dwelled in the land. “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are,” (Num 13:31) ten of the twelve spies sniveled.
The people reacted with tremendous fear, disobedience, and lack of faith. Sensing that the tide of opinion was welling against the Lord’s invitation to courageously step into his blessing, Moses falls on his face in grief and pleas, “If the Lord delights in us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey. Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not fear the people of the land, for they are bread for us. Their protection is removed from them, and the Lord is with us; do not fear them” (Num. 14:8-9).
Fear calcified in the hearts of the Israelites, turning to rebellion and rage, “Then all the congregation said to stone them with stones” (Num. 14:10).
God then brings his presence among the Isrealites. What was his response to their cowardice? Does God wink at this small blunder? Does he poo poo disobedience and lack of trust? On the contrary. God proposes to destroy them and start from scratch, “How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them? I will strike them with the pestilence and disinherit them, and I will make of you a nation greater and mightier than they” (Num 14:11-12).
Moses intervenes; God banishes this generation of Israelites from the Promised Land due to the gravity of their sin, but in his mercy, God does not destroy them.
Bottom line: our cowardice is a serious sin, not to be ignored, excused, or minimized.
In fact, when Moses prepares the next generation of Israelites to enter the Promised Land in the final chapters of his farewell address, he urges the Israelites three times to be courageous.
The danger of the sin of cowardice is not lost on the next leader of Israel. Joshua urges the Israelites to be courageous four times in the first chapter of Joshua. He says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Josh. 1:9).
How does one grow in courage? It’s tucked right into that verse: by remembering that our God is a faithful God who is always with us and never fails on what he has promised us because he cannot deny himself. Our courage is in God. It does not arise out of a reservoir of our own strength. In the Psalms, David reminds us how to grow in courage, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Ps. 27:14).
Courage grows in the soil of patience and faith.
Courage also grows in the soil of community. There is a strange connection between cowardice and narcissism. Both are focused on the self: its preservation and agenda. Selflessness and courage both develop as we learn to love others and care more about their needs than our own.
The Cowardly Lion in Frank Baum’s Wizard of Oz remains trapped in his cowardice because of his shame of not being King of the Beasts, as he knows he ought to be. It is only by being invited into Dorothy’s group of pilgrims and having companions that he cares about enough to protect that he learns courage through brave actions. There’s quite a bit of truth here.
Forgive me for at times loving myself and seeking to further my agenda more than focusing on God and you. I have acted cowardly at times. May faith and love, which come from God alone, turn this cowardly man into a courageous one.
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Photo by Hulki Okan Tabak on Unsplash