Bart Ehrman has perhaps done more to undermine the credibility of the Bible than anyone else in my lifetime. But his story didn’t begin that way. Ehrman is a New Testament scholar and skeptic. Ehrman grew up in a Christian home, attended a conservative Bible school, and then found his way to a liberal seminary where his faith in the God of the Bible unraveled. That seminary happens to be the seminary I would attend a couple of decades later.
For Ehrman, everywhere he looks he sees holes in the biblical story. The inconsistencies that he sees have led him to determine that he cannot trust in the God of the Bible.
“Don’t listen to your feelings; remember what Jesus did for you!”
“Don’t be guided by your feelings; listen to what God commands you to do!”
In just the past week, I heard both of these warnings. Two very different Christian speakers urged their audiences to shut down their feelings. These admonitions resonate. They contain truth. It is correct that our feelings don’t override truth, nor do our emotions negate what God has done. Neither do our feelings give us an out for what God commands us to do.
I had outsized emotions as a child. Games, especially, would get the best of me, whether cards or boardgames or sports. In response to a stroke of bad luck, a hot surge of anger would erupt, followed quickly by tears and then embarrassment.
Emotions are God’s gift to us in many ways. They are one of his kind ways of showing us where our deep attachments lie.
Our son started his freshman year at the University of Arizona this fall. It’s been a great experience for him, but not without its adjustments. The climate of a secular school is quite different than the Christian school he graduated from
Most have heard of the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment. In 1970, psychologist Walter Mischel invited kids into his lab. A child was offered a marshmallow that they could eat, or, if they waited until the researcher returned, they were given a second marshmallow. About one-third of the kids waited approximately fifteen minutes for the additional reward.
The study then tracked those children over time and found that children who waited for the second reward tended to have higher SAT scores and lower body mass indexes. Later tests have challenged those outcomes, but it hasn’t stopped parents everywhere from running the experiment on their kids, often with humorous results.
Happy election day!
In 2016, data scientists Eitan Hersh and Yair Ghitza analyzed data among registered voters to determine how often Democrats and Republicans married. They learned that 9% of marriages had the spouses registered in the two parties. Over the next four years that meager number would drop precipitously, down to 4%.
As Jonathan Haidt and others have successfully argued, the ideological disparity between FOX News and CNBC are child’s play compared to the engineered social media algorithms that create hermetically sealed echo chambers for our political views.
“I want to forgive him, but how do I forgive someone who died years ago?”
“I want to forgive her, but I don’t have any way to contact her.”
Do you have someone in your life that you want to forgive, but you don’t know how to because they are no longer in your life or perhaps they have passed away? This topic has come up a number of times in counseling others. May I offer some advice?
“It’s too late to apologize,” Timbaland sang to his girlfriend who he couldn’t trust any longer.
The 2007 song struck a chord. How many of us have people in our lives that we can’t imagine forgiving? How many of us have people in our lives we can’t imagine apologizing to? We can’t imagine apologizing to them, because of that, or right now. Better to just try to make it up, or smooth it over, we tell ourselves.
“It’s too late to apologize.”
We live in an apology-averse culture. We are allergic to repentance and equally allergic to forgiveness.
Think about it. When was the last time someone repented to you? I mean, truly repented?
Not long ago a congregant apologized to me. The email began this way (I’ve tweaked it only to protect the one who sent it), “I might have been a little harsh in my email.. I had a very bad week…” In further communication, the individual referenced their apology. Internally I scratched my head. “When did they apologize?” I dug back through the email thread and saw those phrases. That is what they were referencing.
“I might have…” followed by an excuse is no apology.
I don’t say that to attack the individual I am referencing. In fact, I completely understand why, given the slipperiness of our hearts, and in our culture, they would think that they had apologized.
We live in an apology-averse culture.
We are allergic to repentance and equally allergic to forgiveness.
Think about it? When was the last time someone repented to you? I mean, truly repented?
The last time a congregant apologized to me, the email began this way (I’ve tweaked it only to protect the one who sent it), “I might have been a little harsh in my email.. I had a very bad week…” In further communication, the individual referenced their apology. Internally I scratched my head. “When did they apologize?” I dug back through the email thread and saw those phrases. That is what they were referencing.
“I might have…” followed by an excuse is no apology.
I don’t say that to attack the individual I am referencing. In fact, I completely understand why, in our culture, they would think that they had apologized.
In our culture, we learn to apologize with phrases that look like this:
· “Sorry.”
· “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
· “I know I shouldn’t have done that, but you shouldn’t have…”
· “I wouldn’t have done that if…”
· “That wasn’t my best.”
None of those are apologies.
By not learning how to apologize, we miss out on good’s purposes for our hearts and for the possibility of true reconciliation.
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