relationships

How to Raise Kids Who Are Best Friends

How to Raise Kids Who Are Best Friends

Did you like your siblings when you were growing up? Do your kids like each other?

 

Every parent wants their children to be friends. One of the best gifts of my childhood was my friendship with my sister. The gift of a playmate and a confidant, of someone to walk through life’s ups and downs with you, is incalculable. 

Over time I’ve realized that the gift of my friendship with my sister, Sarah, has paid enormous dividends in my life. It was that friendship that taught me how to navigate conflict, how to apologize and reconcile, how to comfort, and how to navigate long-distance friendship. My relationship with Sarah has always been a touchstone of learning and growth. Looking back on my friendship with Sarah, I realize that is where I learned to be a husband as well.

How Can We Help the Hurting?

How Can We Help the Hurting?

Hard news surrounds us. Health issues. Wars. Famine. Persecution. How can we help? The needs can feel overwhelming.

 

When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett, one of the most impactful books written about poverty alleviation from a Christian perspective in the past two decades. The book is written from the perspective of economists with significant experience in ministries seeking to make a difference in the lives of those born into poverty. As the title suggests, Fikkert and Corbett make a persuasive argument that most of the well-intentioned aid efforts of the West actually hurt those they are seeking to help.

How Do You Forgive Someone Who Is Gone?

How Do You  Forgive Someone Who Is Gone?

“I want to forgive him, but how do I forgive someone who died years ago?”

“I want to forgive her, but I don’t have any way to contact her.”

 Do you have someone in your life that you want to forgive, but you don’t know how to because they are no longer in your life or perhaps they have passed away? This topic has come up a number of times in counseling others. May I offer some advice?

Could God Do __?

Could God Do __?

“I don’t even know why we’re here. Nothing is going to change.” I’ve heard those words many times in counseling sessions. And I’ve felt those words from the empty eyes, the rigid shoulders, and the dropped heads of those I have counseled.

Who is it that you don’t believe can change? Your boss? Your employee? Your friend? Your son or daughter? Your spouse? Yourself?

Who have you given up on?

Be honest. You’ve probably given up on someone somewhere. You know what the theological term is for not having hope for someone? For giving up on them? Damning. That’s right. When you lose hope in someone you’re damning him.  

How to Waste Your Counseling

How to Waste Your Counseling

I forgot that I knew him. Our pre-marital counselor sat behind his oak desk with a large smile peeking out from under his white mustache. His gentle eyes reassured me. Angel and I slid into the love seat, facing him. It was my first counseling session. Angel’s, too. We were here for pre-marital counseling.

A Warning for Those Considering Co-Leadership

A Warning for Those Considering Co-Leadership

While my last article told how and why Greg and I chose to become co-lead pastors, I’ve also experienced plenty of frustration as a co-leader. Greg and I have very different personalities. Among those differences is my propensity to plan every detail and Greg’s propensity to have a go-with-the-flow approach.

A Case For Co-Leadership

A Case For Co-Leadership

Who hasn’t heard of Walt Disney? Born in 1901, he left a legacy that has impacted generations across the globe. But, for all his genius, none of Walt’s dreams would have come to fruition were it not for his partnership with his brother, Roy. Walt lived in the clouds while Roy had both feet planted on the ground. Jim Korkis wrote, “Walt may have dreamed castles, but it was Roy who got them built.”

How to Invite Someone to Church

How to Invite Someone to Church

An encouraging study by Lifeway Research found that two-thirds of churchgoers invited someone to church in the last six months. When was the last time you invited someone to church? Who is the next person God might have you invite?

Inviting someone to church isn’t, of course, a substitute for evangelism, but it sure is a great partner in our evangelistic efforts. Similar to our homes, our churches ought to be a place that, while they are primarily for the gathered body of Christ, are also always welcoming to the outsider.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The Most Dangerous Type of Parenting: Aaron Earls explains, “Reputation parenting is primarily concerned with the spiritual reputation of the parent. We do what we do as a parent with the goal of having others see us as a respectable Christian parent.”

  2. Why Do Christians Make Such a Big Deal About Sex? Rebecca McLaughlin responds, “Whenever people ask me why Christians are so weird about sex, I first point out that we’re weirder than they think. The fundamental reason why Christians believe that sex belongs only in the permanent bond of male-female marriage is because of the metaphor of Jesus’s love for his church.”

  3. What does “the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” mean? Kevin Halloran asks, “But what exactly does this phrase from James mean? Does it mean that we will receive everything we pray for, or that holiness strengthens our prayers?”

  4. My Broken Engagement: Olivia Davis begins, “Has God forgotten me? No, my heart said. But it wasn’t a statement of faith. It was a cry of sorrow: I wish that he had. Because if he had forgotten me, it would mean that he didn’t know about my broken engagement, that he wasn’t an indifferent observer watching me sprawled out on my living room rug like a dead spider, sobbing until I had to run to the bathroom and vomit.”

  5. Does Jesus Still Sympathize with Sinners? Mark Jones with a rich reflection concludes, “we can rejoice that his compassion to us is not mere sentiment, but a powerful compassion whereby he can supply us with his grace in our times of need, just as the Father supplied Christ with the Spirit in his time of need.”

I Hope your Advent is In Tents

I Hope your Advent is In Tents

Our girl arrived home for Christmas last night. Everything feels better when we are all together. Camille headed off to college in Southern California this fall, and we have felt her absence. We missed her laugh, her hugs, and her quiet presence in the house, crafting on a quiet Sunday afternoon. But now she’s home! My heart swells to be able to squeeze her, to wake her up with a kiss on the forehead, to listen to her laugh at my dad jokes. Even in an era where we have technology like Facetime, there is nothing like being face-to-face. I feel joy to worship with her this Christmas Eve and look forward to having our family whole, enjoying cinnamon rolls and coffee in our pajamas on Christmas day, unwrapping one another’s gifts and squeezing each other in thanks.

God concurs.