Recommendations, Family, Marriage, Relationships, Religion
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. Faithfulness in an inside-out world: This is a good one from Andrew Noble, In today’s age, people are to find out what’s inside first, and then they are to express it outward. Charles Taylor describes this as “a culture of authenticity.”

  2. Fight brain rot by reading books: This one is written to Gen Z, but applies to everyone. Luke Simon writes, “What surprised me most was how different reading was from scrolling. My phone had trained me to skim, to consume quickly, and to expect instant gratification. Books demanded something deeper: focus, patience, and the willingness to sit with ideas that don’t immediately resolve.”

This Week's Recommendations
Forgiveness, Relationships, Wisdom
John Beeson
Aslan Was Wrong

Like so many others, The Chronicles of Narnia is one of my favorite fiction series of all time. CS Lewis masterfully gives us insight into the heart of Christ and our relationship with him through the figure of Aslan. The tales teach us unforgettable truths about us about friendship, courage, and redemption.

Lewis brilliantly captures the weight of our sin against God. The figure of Aslan helps us see the price Christ paid to atone for our wrongdoings. Near the conclusion of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe we watch an interaction that gives us insight into the cost of our sin.

Aslan Was Wrong
Christian Living, Forgiveness, Relationships, Spiritual Growth
John Beeson
How to Apologize

We live in an apology-averse culture.

We are allergic to repentance and forgiveness alike.

Think about it. When was the last time someone repented to you? I mean, truly repented?

The last time a congregant apologized to me, the email began this way (I’ve tweaked it only to protect the one who sent it), “I might have been a little harsh in my email.. I had a very bad week…” In further communication, the individual referenced their apology. I scratched my head. “When did they apologize?” I dug back through the email thread and saw those phrases. That is what they were referencing.

How to Apologize
Recommendations, Identity, Marriage, Spiritual Growth
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. Three lies that separate spouses: Dave Harvey’s first lie is, “I can’t forgive you until you confess all the sin I see.”

  2. How the gospel answers shame in college students: Connie Leung Nelson explains, “For a long time, when I noticed students withdrawing or heard them voice a sense of shame, my first impulse was to reassure them there was nothing wrong with them. I’d direct them to their accomplishments in an attempt to counteract shame with honor. But pointing students to their work and successes doesn’t un-shame them.

This Week's Recommendations
Forgiveness
John Beeson
How to Forgive

“How can I forgive them?” It’s a question spoken out of a yearning to release the one who has inflicted injury. It’s a question that is expressed out of hurt and sometimes anger.

How do we forgive the person who keeps sinning against us? How do we forgive the person who grievously sins against us? How do we forgive the person who sins against us and isn’t repentant?

Forgiveness is mandatory as a Christian. In his depiction of how we ought to pray, Jesus ties up our forgiveness with the forgiveness we offer, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt 6:12).

How to Forgive

marriage

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Faithfulness in an inside-out world: This is a good one from Andrew Noble, In today’s age, people are to find out what’s inside first, and then they are to express it outward. Charles Taylor describes this as “a culture of authenticity.”

  2. Fight brain rot by reading books: This one is written to Gen Z, but applies to everyone. Luke Simon writes, “What surprised me most was how different reading was from scrolling. My phone had trained me to skim, to consume quickly, and to expect instant gratification. Books demanded something deeper: focus, patience, and the willingness to sit with ideas that don’t immediately resolve.”

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Let Marriage Sustain Your Love

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Let Marriage Sustain Your Love

Yesterday we celebrated my parents’ 50th anniversary and offered words of thanks to them. Next Saturday I have the blessing of officiating a memorial service and a wedding. Preparing for these three events has had me reflecting on the weight of our choices and the gift of God’s design for marriage. In a world where marriages are often built on shifting sands—self-interest, emotional highs, or cultural expectations—Bonhoeffer’s sermon reminds us that marriage is not sustained by love alone but by God’s design and God’s love. What lessons can we draw from this sermon for today?

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

In the past post we considered the biblical priority of leading in our homes before stepping into leadership callings outside of our home.

When I was asked to speak to our Mom’s Matter group on leading well in the home I was a bit intimidated. I felt far from equipped to speak as a man to women on the topic of leadership. And so, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked wise, godly women who were also great leaders. Starting with my wife, I began to listen to the advice my female friends offered on leadership in the home and beyond.

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How to Get Married

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How to Get Married

The Knot recently did a study and found that over the past seven years, weddings in churches have dropped from 41% to 26%.[i] Wow. Only a quarter of weddings now take place in a church.

This fact itself isn’t catastrophic. I don’t believe that one has to get married in the church for it to be a “real” wedding. But it does speak to a secularizing trend that has been pretty apparent. More disconcerting for me is the fact that 43% of weddings are now officiated by a friend, up from 29% seven years ago.[ii] The Bible doesn’t say you need a pastor to officiate your wedding, but choosing a (non-pastor) friend to officiate your wedding makes a statement.

You’re saying that your wedding is about celebrating your relationship with friends. That’s a wonderful part of what a wedding should be, but it shouldn’t be what your wedding is primarily about.

If you are considering marriage at some point in the future, let me urge you to consider making your marriage about something bigger and then doing some practical things to make sure your wedding points to that bigger truth.

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Choosing 8

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Choosing 8

I am blessed to have so many special people in my life. My sister (Sarah) and her husband (Anders) are two such people. At age 22, they might have been two of the least likely people you could have imagined to be where they are today: homeschool parents of eight kids. Both coming from families of four, Sarah was enrolled in medical school on the way to becoming a doctor. It seemed as likely they would hit the lottery than they would choose the path to become the family they have become. I had the opportunity to sit down with Sarah and Anders and listen to the story of how God led them to choose to have eight kids.

I hope as you read this you might consider where God is calling you and where he is asking you to trust him in your life right now. Where is he inviting you into deeper faith?

Tell me the story of how you two fell in love.

Anders (A): It all started at your (John’s) wedding. We had a lot of time to talk and have fun together. We clicked and deeper conversations were natural. I left that week feeling like Sarah was somebody I really wanted to get to know more. We emailed for six months until I graduated. Then, I moved out to Phoenix to be near you and Angel. I was shy and didn’t want to put any pressure on Sarah, but I wanted to be closer to her. We got to spend a lot of time together that summer and I got to know her really well.

Right before she went back to Stanford in the fall, we finally had our first date.

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Our Restored Story

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Our Restored Story

In the weeks following Angel’s confession of adultery I was in a state of shock. I was asked to take a leave of absence from the church, which was difficult for me to accept. From the time I was ten, my understanding of my identity was inextricable from my calling as a pastor. I was about to no longer be a pastor.

The next six months would be the most difficult time of my life. Angel’s confession of her affair would be peeled back. Her confession of one affair became confessions of a series of affairs and I would have to come face-to-face with the ugliness of my own heart.

Counseling was really rocky as well. I thought we would be working to repair the damage and rebuild our relationship, but what our counselors quickly became aware of was that Angel had compartmentalized a significant amount of the previous two-and-a-half years. Every session peeled back more hurtful layers.

ANGEL:

I had not intentionally held back from John the layers of my infidelity.

But, in my self-hatred I had compartmentalized swaths of sin that I wouldn’t be able to face without months of counseling.

Beyond my ongoing affair with a man in our church, I had also been involved in a series of other sexual encounters, most of which were one-night stands.

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Our Broken Story

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Our Broken Story

This week we were featured over at Reclaimed Story in both blog and podcast. It begins:

We were just kids: 14 and 16 years old. A freshman and a junior. We went to the same high school and the same church. John was the leader of our campus Christian club.

ANGEL:

The first time I met him I thought, “That’s the man I want to marry.” We married at 19 and 21, respectively, and we were what most people thought was the “perfect couple”. We heard it many times: “I want a relationship like yours!”

Fast forward 18 years to a campus ministry retreat in Lake Pleasant, New York. As the music swells I begin shaking and weeping. I can’t keep living in lies. I collapse into a chair. John joins me. I speak over the worship, “I’ve been having an affair. “

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

1. 4 Traits to Seek in a Spouse: David Qaoud concludes his sound advice with this, “Everyone marries the wrong person. Everyone is wrong because of sin. But a robust view of total depravity, and a firm understanding of providence, doesn’t mean you should have low standards for who you marry.”

2. I Am My Father’s Son: This is a powerful story of hope from Greg Lucas, who had a terrible relationship with his father. He concludes, “Like my dad, and failing fathers everywhere, I rest in the promises of the gospel. The promise of redemption, forgiveness, and grace. And through these promises I can proclaim with confidence and joy, I am my Father’s son.

3. Sometimes I Think I Hear Singing: Andrea Sanborn encourages us to have ears to hear God’s singing… I read this one twice it was so perfect. She says, “We look for the spectacular, for a jolt of awareness. For miracles. But God, who clothed himself in ordinary flesh, also comes on ordinary days, in just a subtle stirring in the soul; a hint of heaven. Can you sense it?”

4. River Runner: How cool is this tool? Let a raindrop fall anywhere you want in the United States and see where it ends up.

5. America’s Racial History and Christians: In this video, Justin Giboney with a thoughtful response to an important issues for all American Christians. He argues that, to speak faithfully and biblically, “We must not only confront the lies that offend us, but also the lies that serve us.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. 4 Romance Myths Couples Should Bust: Les and Leslie Parrott begin here, “Couples need to know that being in love does not mean their expectations align. In fact, each individual’s expectations may lead to tension down the road.”

2. If Necessary, You Have Been Grieved: D. Eaton reminds us that God has purposes for our trials. He says, “God never afflicts us without cause. He is always doing a good work.” There is so much encouragement for sufferers, here.

3. Pastoral PTSD: This podcast is helpful not just for pastors, but congregants too. Jeff Medders considers the ongoing impact conflict, stress, and other ministry hazards can have on the mind, soul, and body of the local pastor. I was grateful for his encouragement to both pastors and congregants near the end.

4. Music Maps: Stuck in a music rut? This is a great website to discover artists you might not find otherwise. Do you love Lauren Daigle? Maybe you will like Moriah Peters or Capital Kings. Is Frank Sinatra your favorite? Have you listened to the Inkspots or Sarah Vaughan? Is Ed Sheeran your jam? Give Birdy or Greg Holden a try.

5. 2021 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards: This is sure to make you smile. I love #11 “Houston We’ve Had a Problem”—the expression on that poor fish is priceless. What’s your favorite?

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In Honor of My Beloved on Her 40th

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In Honor of My Beloved on Her 40th

Tomorrow my beautiful wife, Angel, turns 40. I’ve known Angel since she was 14, a freshman at Canyon del Oro High School. She has the same magnetic personality she did then, but the years have added depth and wisdom.

Marrying young is hard. God had a lot of work to do on me and Angel (and still does!). But there is also joy. It is an honor to be a close companion to God’s refining work in another’s life for so long. It is a mercy to know and be known.

I’ve seen God shape Angel’s flighty spirit into grounded stillness. I’ve seen God transform Angel’s heart that, at times, struggled with discontentment, to a heart that overflows with gratitude. I’ve seen God patiently draw Angel into a vocational calling she wrestled with (those God has blessed by having Angel enter their lives as counselor are grateful she submitted!).

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