Christmas, Theology, Advent, Church, Hospitality
John Beeson
The Faithfulness of God of the Manger

Recently we had someone over and as the night came to a close Angel warmly offered, “Let’s do this again soon!” I wilted as I processed just how many things were on our calendar in the coming month. Just like Angel did, I wanted to be with them again and soon, but her invitation made me flinch.

 

My wife Angel and I are very different people. Angel brings light and life everywhere. People are drawn to her, and she is drawn to people. One of the many things I love about Angel is how she gets caught up in a moment with people. In that space, it’s not unusual that she shares hopes with those we are with of spending more time together. And she means it: there is no doubt of her genuineness.

The Faithfulness of God of the Manger
Advent, Christmas, Theology
John Beeson
A Humble God?

“I don’t compare myself with anybody, but nobody is better.” Michael Jordan

“They say the sky’s the limit, but I think my potential is beyond it.” Jay-Z

“I won’t be happy until I’m as famous as God” Madonna

“I won’t be a rock star. I will be a legend.” Freddie Mercury

“We’re more popular than Jesus now.” John Lennon

We tend to expect that greatest among us are also some of the most arrogant. And why wouldn’t they be? For many who make it to the top of their field, we can see how that arrogance can be a driving force for their greatness.

A Humble God?
Christmas, Forgiveness, Theology
John Beeson
The Just and the Justifier

God became flesh.

Let that sink in. Christianity asserts that God—sovereign, immutable, omnipotent, other—the eternal God who has no beginning and end—became a human being.

 Because many of us have had exposure to Christianity from our early years, it is easy to miss how massive the theological implications of the incarnation are. The incarnation lays the groundwork for a God who chooses to participate in his creation. The incarnation denies the existence of an abstract and distant God, unmuddied by his handiwork.

The Just and the Justifier
Advent, Christmas, Theology
John Beeson
The Theology of the Manger

“God did not, as the Bible says, create man in his own image; on the contrary, man created God in his own image.” Ludwig Feuerbach dropped this theological bombshell three years before Friedrich Nietzsche’s birth. Feuerbach, a name forgotten by most, but who influenced Nietzsche, wrote these words in his book, The Essence of Christianity (1841). He argued that human beings project their own attributes and desires onto an imagined deity, creating God in their own image. This for Feuerbach, is the essence of Christianity (and indeed all religions), the deification of our human ideals. “What man wishes to be, he makes his God… God is the outward projection of a man’s inward nature.”

The Theology of the Manger
Death, Gratitude, Prayer, Suffering
John Beeson
Go To a Funeral

We Westerners avoid death.

 

When was the last time you walked through a cemetery? When was the last funeral you went to? Our churches no longer have cemeteries, those who are older head to retirement communities and then to head to long-term care or assisted care facilities. The number of funerals held in churches has diminished. Death has become professionalized, antisepticised, and remote.

Go To a Funeral

marriage

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

In the past post we considered the biblical priority of leading in our homes before stepping into leadership callings outside of our home.

When I was asked to speak to our Mom’s Matter group on leading well in the home I was a bit intimidated. I felt far from equipped to speak as a man to women on the topic of leadership. And so, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked wise, godly women who were also great leaders. Starting with my wife, I began to listen to the advice my female friends offered on leadership in the home and beyond.

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How to Get Married

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How to Get Married

The Knot recently did a study and found that over the past seven years, weddings in churches have dropped from 41% to 26%.[i] Wow. Only a quarter of weddings now take place in a church.

This fact itself isn’t catastrophic. I don’t believe that one has to get married in the church for it to be a “real” wedding. But it does speak to a secularizing trend that has been pretty apparent. More disconcerting for me is the fact that 43% of weddings are now officiated by a friend, up from 29% seven years ago.[ii] The Bible doesn’t say you need a pastor to officiate your wedding, but choosing a (non-pastor) friend to officiate your wedding makes a statement.

You’re saying that your wedding is about celebrating your relationship with friends. That’s a wonderful part of what a wedding should be, but it shouldn’t be what your wedding is primarily about.

If you are considering marriage at some point in the future, let me urge you to consider making your marriage about something bigger and then doing some practical things to make sure your wedding points to that bigger truth.

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Choosing 8

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Choosing 8

I am blessed to have so many special people in my life. My sister (Sarah) and her husband (Anders) are two such people. At age 22, they might have been two of the least likely people you could have imagined to be where they are today: homeschool parents of eight kids. Both coming from families of four, Sarah was enrolled in medical school on the way to becoming a doctor. It seemed as likely they would hit the lottery than they would choose the path to become the family they have become. I had the opportunity to sit down with Sarah and Anders and listen to the story of how God led them to choose to have eight kids.

I hope as you read this you might consider where God is calling you and where he is asking you to trust him in your life right now. Where is he inviting you into deeper faith?

Tell me the story of how you two fell in love.

Anders (A): It all started at your (John’s) wedding. We had a lot of time to talk and have fun together. We clicked and deeper conversations were natural. I left that week feeling like Sarah was somebody I really wanted to get to know more. We emailed for six months until I graduated. Then, I moved out to Phoenix to be near you and Angel. I was shy and didn’t want to put any pressure on Sarah, but I wanted to be closer to her. We got to spend a lot of time together that summer and I got to know her really well.

Right before she went back to Stanford in the fall, we finally had our first date.

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Our Restored Story

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Our Restored Story

In the weeks following Angel’s confession of adultery I was in a state of shock. I was asked to take a leave of absence from the church, which was difficult for me to accept. From the time I was ten, my understanding of my identity was inextricable from my calling as a pastor. I was about to no longer be a pastor.

The next six months would be the most difficult time of my life. Angel’s confession of her affair would be peeled back. Her confession of one affair became confessions of a series of affairs and I would have to come face-to-face with the ugliness of my own heart.

Counseling was really rocky as well. I thought we would be working to repair the damage and rebuild our relationship, but what our counselors quickly became aware of was that Angel had compartmentalized a significant amount of the previous two-and-a-half years. Every session peeled back more hurtful layers.

ANGEL:

I had not intentionally held back from John the layers of my infidelity.

But, in my self-hatred I had compartmentalized swaths of sin that I wouldn’t be able to face without months of counseling.

Beyond my ongoing affair with a man in our church, I had also been involved in a series of other sexual encounters, most of which were one-night stands.

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Our Broken Story

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Our Broken Story

This week we were featured over at Reclaimed Story in both blog and podcast. It begins:

We were just kids: 14 and 16 years old. A freshman and a junior. We went to the same high school and the same church. John was the leader of our campus Christian club.

ANGEL:

The first time I met him I thought, “That’s the man I want to marry.” We married at 19 and 21, respectively, and we were what most people thought was the “perfect couple”. We heard it many times: “I want a relationship like yours!”

Fast forward 18 years to a campus ministry retreat in Lake Pleasant, New York. As the music swells I begin shaking and weeping. I can’t keep living in lies. I collapse into a chair. John joins me. I speak over the worship, “I’ve been having an affair. “

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

1. 4 Traits to Seek in a Spouse: David Qaoud concludes his sound advice with this, “Everyone marries the wrong person. Everyone is wrong because of sin. But a robust view of total depravity, and a firm understanding of providence, doesn’t mean you should have low standards for who you marry.”

2. I Am My Father’s Son: This is a powerful story of hope from Greg Lucas, who had a terrible relationship with his father. He concludes, “Like my dad, and failing fathers everywhere, I rest in the promises of the gospel. The promise of redemption, forgiveness, and grace. And through these promises I can proclaim with confidence and joy, I am my Father’s son.

3. Sometimes I Think I Hear Singing: Andrea Sanborn encourages us to have ears to hear God’s singing… I read this one twice it was so perfect. She says, “We look for the spectacular, for a jolt of awareness. For miracles. But God, who clothed himself in ordinary flesh, also comes on ordinary days, in just a subtle stirring in the soul; a hint of heaven. Can you sense it?”

4. River Runner: How cool is this tool? Let a raindrop fall anywhere you want in the United States and see where it ends up.

5. America’s Racial History and Christians: In this video, Justin Giboney with a thoughtful response to an important issues for all American Christians. He argues that, to speak faithfully and biblically, “We must not only confront the lies that offend us, but also the lies that serve us.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. 4 Romance Myths Couples Should Bust: Les and Leslie Parrott begin here, “Couples need to know that being in love does not mean their expectations align. In fact, each individual’s expectations may lead to tension down the road.”

2. If Necessary, You Have Been Grieved: D. Eaton reminds us that God has purposes for our trials. He says, “God never afflicts us without cause. He is always doing a good work.” There is so much encouragement for sufferers, here.

3. Pastoral PTSD: This podcast is helpful not just for pastors, but congregants too. Jeff Medders considers the ongoing impact conflict, stress, and other ministry hazards can have on the mind, soul, and body of the local pastor. I was grateful for his encouragement to both pastors and congregants near the end.

4. Music Maps: Stuck in a music rut? This is a great website to discover artists you might not find otherwise. Do you love Lauren Daigle? Maybe you will like Moriah Peters or Capital Kings. Is Frank Sinatra your favorite? Have you listened to the Inkspots or Sarah Vaughan? Is Ed Sheeran your jam? Give Birdy or Greg Holden a try.

5. 2021 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards: This is sure to make you smile. I love #11 “Houston We’ve Had a Problem”—the expression on that poor fish is priceless. What’s your favorite?

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In Honor of My Beloved on Her 40th

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In Honor of My Beloved on Her 40th

Tomorrow my beautiful wife, Angel, turns 40. I’ve known Angel since she was 14, a freshman at Canyon del Oro High School. She has the same magnetic personality she did then, but the years have added depth and wisdom.

Marrying young is hard. God had a lot of work to do on me and Angel (and still does!). But there is also joy. It is an honor to be a close companion to God’s refining work in another’s life for so long. It is a mercy to know and be known.

I’ve seen God shape Angel’s flighty spirit into grounded stillness. I’ve seen God transform Angel’s heart that, at times, struggled with discontentment, to a heart that overflows with gratitude. I’ve seen God patiently draw Angel into a vocational calling she wrestled with (those God has blessed by having Angel enter their lives as counselor are grateful she submitted!).

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Maundy Thursday Recommendations

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Maundy Thursday Recommendations

1. 2 in 3 Americans Believe in the Resurrection…But… Aaron Earls asks author Rebecca McLaughlin for her response to a recent poll on Americans’ belief in the resurrection.

2. Waiting With Faith: Tim Challies begins, “Have you ever bitten into a green tomato? Have you ever sunk your teeth into a fall apple during the heat of summer or into a summer strawberry during the cool of spring?”

3. Hide and Seek: Chris Thomas isn’t just a friend, he’s one of my favorite bloggers. You’ll thank me for reading this beautiful story of the gospel at work in Chris’s relationship with his adopted son. He concludes, “I don’t need to run anymore. I don’t need to live in fear anymore, to pretend anymore. I am in Christ, that is enough.”

4. How Can I Help My Marriage Get Unstuck from the Past? Garrett Higby offers good advice from a biblical counseling perspective here. He says that, “ignoring unresolved issues from the past that shade or distort almost every conflict, make them easily offended, and create compensatory patterns or unrealistic expectations.”

5. Engaging Our Emotions, Engaging with God: Alistair Groves begins, “Emotions are tricky. Everyone has them. Everyone struggles with them. Many struggle with how they feel more than anything else in their lives. Then there is the sea of other people’s emotions in which all of us swim. I suspect most of us consider emotions to be more of a liability than an asset.”

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Your Marriage Doesn't Need Better Communication

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Your Marriage Doesn't Need Better Communication

“The biggest problem in our marriage is our communication.” It’s perhaps the most frequent issue that is brought to the table when Angel (my wife and counselor) and I meet with couples. At the core of many marriage seminars and conferences is the issue of how to improve the communication in your marriage.

I don’t buy it. Your marriage doesn’t need better communication.

Alright, alright. I’m overstating that for dramatic effect. There are some helpful things you can do to improve communication in your marriage. But the fact remains: I’ve yet to encounter a marriage that the fundamental issue is communication. More serious issues always lurk beneath the surface.

The reason that communication is often fore-fronted is that it is a neutral issue. Being a poor communicator isn’t a sin. We think if we can just learn new techniques, we will experience renewal in our marriage.

Communication isn’t your issue. Sin is your issue. Or, to put it in James’s language, your desires are your issue.

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