Parenting

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. How Early Christianity Was Mocked for Welcoming Women: Michael Kruger reminds us that while only one-third of Rome’s citizens were women, women comprised two-thirds of the early church, “And it is this reality that sets the stage for the critics of early Christianity. If they were looking for a way to undermine this new religious movement (and they were!) then the involvement of women is an easy target.”

2. God is Not a God of Second Chances: Provocative article by Aaron Wilson. He begins by explaining, "A second-chance gospel reveals half of the good news—the half that says Jesus died for sins. The fact that God is merciful is a beautiful truth. But if Jesus only died to forgive sins, humanity is still in trouble."

3. Why Procrastination is About Managing Emotions, Not Time: Do you struggle with procrastination? You'll find this helpful. New psychological studies are revealing that, "The task we’re putting off is making us feel bad – perhaps it’s boring, too difficult or we’re worried about failing – and to make ourselves feel better in the moment, we start doing something else, like watching videos."

4. Homeschool Surge: Given the difficulty of online education, I’m not surprised that there is a big surge in homeschooling during this strange year. Esther Eaton at World reports, “A May survey found 40 percent of parents compelled to school at home because of COVID-19 said they’d be more likely to homeschool in the future.”

5. Who is Most Generous? Not Who You’d Expect: John Lee reflects on Barna findings that the three most generous cities in the US are located in one state. What state do you think it is? “Christians in these cities give on average $17,977 to charity annually.” Meanwhile, other cities give just over $3,300 a year. Lee then dives deep into what most powerfully motivates us to give.

6. How Presidential Debates Have Changed: A lot is packed into this six-minute video.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Kids Spending 500% More Time in Front of Screens During Quarantine: James Lang suggests that, “The trouble with excessive screen time is that it eclipses healthy behaviors that all children need.”

2. Will Hell Really Last Forever? This is a thoughtful and thorough response by Greg Morse. I find this part of his argument most persuasive: "The answer is clear enough in Revelation 16:8–11, where people under God’s judgment 'gnawed their tongues in anguish and cursed the God of heaven for their pain and sores. They did not repent of their deeds.'”

3. 4 Disturbing Trends in Global Persecution: Please pray for Christ's church. The fourth in Aaron Earls's report is, "Christianity is on the verge of disappearing in Iraq and Syria. The presence of terrorist groups and conflicts in both Middle Eastern countries have led to the rapid decline of the Christian populations. Before the extended conflicts began, Iraq and Syria had 3.7 million Christians. Now that has dropped to around 946,000, according to Open Doors."

4. Here come the Skinny Cows: Mark Deymaz and Harry Li with a disturbing forecast of dramatically decreased giving to churches in the coming years. They explain four factors that might lead to a decline of up to 30% drop in giving. One of the four factors is a decrease in giving to religious institutions, "Individual giving in general is trending down, the report said, but religious giving is being hit by other factors like the growing disaffiliation of Americans with religious groups."

5. 4 Principles for Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Julie Lowe’s short article is on point. Her final point is, “Fourth, talk soon. Be the one who shapes your child’s view on sex and sexuality. It is far better to proactively inform your child’s view on a subject, than to have to go back and debunk an inaccurate view.”

6. Hawaii's Forest Eater: Stunning up close footage of the devastating 2018 volcano in Hawaii.

How to Raise Kids Who Are Best Friends

How to Raise Kids Who Are Best Friends

Do your kids like each other? Nothing like COVID-19 to test those limits, right?

Every parent wants their children to be friends. One of the best gifts of my childhood was my friendship with my sister. The gift of a playmate, of someone to walk through life’s ups and downs with you, is incalculable.

Over time I’ve realized that the gift of my friendship with my sister, Sarah, has paid enormous dividends in my life. It was that friendship that taught me how to navigate conflict, how to apologize and reconcile, how to comfort, and how to navigate long-distance friendship, and through changes and stresses in life. It’s not that I’ve navigated any of those things particularly well (in fact, even in the past year I can point to ways I’ve navigated several of those things particularly poorly!), but my relationship with Sarah has always been a touchstone of learning and growth.

Looking back on my friendship with Sarah, I realize that is where I learned to be a husband as well. Whatever ways I’ve been a good husband can be attributed to a foundation of friendship with my sister.

But how do you raise children who are friends? Many parents are exasperated by the constant bickering, the endless disputes and competition between siblings.

I thought it would be beneficial to get my kids’ perspective on it: a view from the trenches, as it were.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Every Movie Cliche About Teenage Dating is Basically Wrong: Chris Bourn begins, "As told by Hollywood, the humiliation of simultaneously being a teenager and being unable to get a date is one of the deepest, most difficult emotional traumas a person can endure." Bourn argues that the truth is quite the contrary, that teens who don't date are, on average, more socially adept and psychologically healthy.

2. Christianity Continues to Lose Numbers in US: New Pew Research report shows important data. Headlining this detailed study is that, "Christianity has dropped to 65% of the U.S. population, while the religiously unaffiliated or “nones” grew to 26%."

3. I Finally Wrote My Resignation Letter: Chris Thomas pens a poignant reflection on exhaustion and disappointment in ministry. "I think I entered ministry too early. Puffed up by praise, I charged forward on the toxic confidence of a vapour made of 90% gifting and 10% character. I was 18 and ready to change the world. I knew what was wrong with the church, what was wrong with other Christians, and what was wrong with, well, pretty much everything. Now here I am 25 years later. I’m 43 years old, and I’m not sure what I know anymore."

4. Are You Too Concerned with Your Child's Behavior? Tedd Tripp asks important questions about our motivations in parenting. One of several important points is, "Many idols of the heart will pollute our interventions with our children. These idols will not motivate us to act for the well-being of our child, but for our own reputations."

5. Occupation Growth and Decline since 1970: This is a fascinating infographic. Some unsurprising occupations on this graph and some surprising ones, too.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       The Average American Hasn't Made a Friend in Five Years: Oh my, this is disturbing news in a new study commissioned by Evite. And the friends we do have don't appear to be that close: "So what about the friends we already have? According to the survey, the average adult has 16 current, active friendships. Of those friends, three are considered friends for life, five are worthy of a one-on-one hang out session, and eight are generally well-liked but not enough to hang out with in person all that often."

2.       What Are Your Sexpectations? Expectations regarding couples' sex lives can be destructive. I appreciate this article's comparison of cultural verse biblical expectations for sex.

3.       5 Keys to a Great Apology: Carey Niewhof begins, " Two of the most powerful words a leader can utter are simply “I apologize”."

4.       Things Stay-at-Home Mothers Aren't Allowed to Talk About: Melissa Edgington concludes this thoughtful post with this perfect conclusion, " Emerald made me a card this weekend, saying she loves it that I “didn’t want a job.” I have never specifically talked with her about being a stay-at-home mom, but at seven years old she is already understanding a little bit of my heart when it comes to our family. I don’t know if she’ll wind up being the PTO President or a CEO, but if she chooses to stay home with babies, I pray that she will find in it the complete joy that I have. Because this world needs kind and artistic and smart and funny women like her in the kitchens and the laundry rooms and the carpool lines, and there is nothing at all wrong with her giving herself to her family, undivided."

5.       Vorticity: Mesmerizing cloud formations.

What We've Done Well and Poorly as Parents (According to Our Kids)

What We've Done Well and Poorly as Parents (According to Our Kids)

We have two wonderful teenage kids. Camille is 16 and Soren is 14. It’s hard to believe that adulthood is just a few years off for both of them. With their elementary years not too far in the rearview mirror and adulthood not too far ahead of them, we asked our kids if they would share what they thought we have done best and where we could improve.

What follows is a Beeson living room chat. I hope by listening in you can benefit from both our highlight and blooper reels.

Their list at times converges with our perspective of our strengths and weakness and at times diverges. I didn’t ask for a certain number of positives and negatives and didn’t edit their list, but I did add comments after each item.

What our kids said we did best (their words are in bold):

1.       Trusting us and giving us freedom (you’re not helicopter parents).

I’m so glad to see this on their list. We’ve given far less freedom than some parents, but we have been intentional in these past few years to release our kids in order to prepare them for adulthood. If they merely perform a certain way at home but immediately stop behaving that way once they leave for college, then our parenting was in vain.

2.       Supporting us in our passions.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       4 Mistakes Parents Make With Technology: Jeff Henderson, " The reason many kids are addicted to technology is because their parents are."

2.       A Parenting Roadmap for Social Media: Jeff and Wendy Henderson begin by reminding us, " Great parenting isn’t controlling. Great parenting is coaching."

3.       4 Reasons to Stop Grumbling: Cass Watson says that simply not grumbling is a powerful witness: " Because complaining is so rampant in the “crooked and twisted generation” around us, our cheerfulness will make us witnesses to the truth. "

4.       Americans Vastly Overestimate LGBT Population: There have been a few studies on this. It's important to right-size our understanding of different populations. " A recent Gallup survey found that on average U.S. adults believe 23.6% of their fellow Americans are gay or lesbian." However, " In Gallup’s most recent survey on the subject, 4.5% of Americans personally identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender."

5.       A Liberating Verse About God's Will: Eric Geiger encourages us to rethink God's will in light of Eden, "God’s desire was for Adam and Eve to not eat from one tree, but there was a lot of freedom beyond that. God did not say, ‘On Monday and Wednesday mornings you eat from the apple tree and on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, you eat from the avocado tree but only during odd months.’"

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       You Might Be a Snowplow Parent if... Jen Goins reflects on a trip to Minnesota that has her thinking about how we can easily mess up the objective of our parenting. Two of her six mistakes are: "A snowplow parent shovels away responsibility," and "A snowplow parent clears the path of negative consequences."

2.      Longer Than: This is masterful writing from Jennie Cesario about the how love grows as marriage ages. You won't be disappointed.

3.      What Does the Book of Job Tell us About the Unborn? Jared Wilson suggests that Job 31 tells us three things about the unborn. 

4.      7 Encouraging Reasons to Pray: Colin Smith reminds us what an incredible privilege it is to pray and what God does when we pray... and I love how he concludes this article. What an incredible perspective of heaven!

5.      The Wake of InnovationFrom the tractor to talking robots, society has feared innovations. But usefulness usually overcomes resistance. Is today any different from the past?

6.      The Rat Apocalypse in New Zealand: A rat apocalypse? Sounds Like real-life Halloween. Yikes.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.        3 Reasons Christians Cannot Commit the Unforgivable Sin: Michael Bird handles the question of whether Christians can commit the unforgivable sin. 

2.       America's Science-Denying, Antiquated Abortion Law: Ardee Coolidge with a strong opinion on America's abortion law, " [D]espite these amazing advancements in science, technology, and medicine, we lag behind the rest of the developed world in one very important area: our abortion laws. In fact, one key aspect of abortion in the United States is so outdated that only six other nations ON EARTH agree with our position (and one of those nations is the forward-thinking paradise of North Korea)."

3.       Do You Have a Child-Centered Home? This is a helpful questionnaire. 

4.       Don't Compliment by Comparing: Eric Geiger shares three reasons we shouldn't compare when we compliment and then concludes, "Compliment. Be liberal with encouragement. But work hard to offer compliments without comparisons. They are more effective and an indication of your maturing." 

5.       It Turns Out Sexual Liberation Isn't All That Liberating: David French concludes, " Faith and family aren’t guarantors of human flourishing (nothing is), but our nation certainly feels their absence, and our culture aches at their loss."

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Free Throws Should Be Easy. Why do Professionals Miss? I enjoyed this story from Wired: " On paper, the free throw could not be more straightforward. It's a direct, unguarded shot at a hoop 18 inches across, 10 feet off the ground, and 15 feet away."

2.       Have you Talked to Your Kids About Sex? Helpful encouragement: "The sex and gender conversations in your home don’t have to be big, awkward productions. They don’t have to be embarrassing. And they certainly don’t need to be all planned out. But they do need to happen. The sooner the better. And they need to continue, the more often the easier. They absolutely must be rooted in biblical truth about how God designed our bodies and gave us the gift of gender and sex."

3.        How Relationships Spark Spiritual Growth: This is a really helpful matrix that will help any leader consider how they can grow their group relationally. Dan Mancini says that this process will, "remove hurdles to your growth... And you’ll get down into the root of the junk you’re carrying around in your life, and it will reveal motivations, appetites, and beliefs that no one (including you) knew you were carrying around.

4.       3 Things to Do When Someone is Suffering: Chris Hulshof considers what we can learn from Job's friends: " What does it look like to show up when someone is suffering? It looks like joining them right where they are and getting dirty with them amidst their grief and sorrow."

5.       8 Questions You Must Ask as you Fight Pornography: Deepak Reju offers great counsel. Two of the eight questions are "what lies are you believing?" and "will you be radical or passive about cutting out your sin?"