“I’m sure no one has ever told you this.”
“It’s so bad. You are going to think terrible things about me.”
“Everyone would hate me if they knew what I was thinking.”
“There is no one who loves me for me.”
I’ve heard each of these helpless words from those who sat on the couch in my office. They are raw, vulnerable, and heartbreaking confessions. The words leak their hearts’ crippling loneliness and fears that they are destined to remain alone.
Just over a hundred years ago the world was mired in the Great War, what would come to be called World War I. Parallel trenches were constructed across Europe. Millions of young men with baryonetted rifles in hand lined the muddy ditches. Fighting was brutal with thousands of lives lost for gains measured in feet, not miles.
Trenches may be a thing of the past when it comes to warfare, but they are alive and well when it comes to political conversations. We line up shoulder-to-shoulder with our brothers-in-arms and fire rounds across no man’s land to the other side.
My car glided down our suburban streets when I noted the silver Civic maneuver a hurried U-turn a hundred yards or so in front of me. “That’s quite an aggressive driver,” I thought to myself. I watched as the driver floored their Civic and closely tailed the SUV in front of them in the right lane. “Oh wow,” I thought. That young man is in a hurry or is angry. The Civic kept tailing the SUV even though the left lane was empty. “This must be personal,” I thought.
As we came up to the stop light, I was cautious.
$1.3 billion: that’s Sara Blakely's net worth. In 2000, Blakely began going door to door with an invisible product. Well, invisible to everyone but the wearer. Spanx was a very different kind of underwear, created to help shape the wearer's body: tucking, hiding, and shaping your body to make you feel better. No longer did you have to go to the gym to get the body you wanted. You could shape your body with your underwear.
If you are as old as me or older, you remember when gym clothes were bulky and formless. Sweatpants and oversized t-shirts were once the expected attire.
Looking for a counselor can be overwhelming. How do you know if they will be good? Are they properly trained? Are they a Christian? If they are a Christian, how much does their Christian worldview shape their counsel?
One of the most frequent pieces of advice I hear is to seek out a licensed Christian counselor. I recently finished a book by a counselor I respect who offered this advice a number of times throughout her book. Near the end of the book, she explained that she urges people to seek a licensed counselor because licensure certifies that the counselor has received proper training and isn’t offering faulty or half-baked advice.
“I’m sure no one has ever told you this.”
“It’s so bad. You are going to think terrible things about me.”
“Everyone would hate me if they knew what I was thinking.”
“There is no one who loves me for me.”
I’ve heard each of these helpless words from those who sat on the couch in my office. They are raw, vulnerable, and heartbreaking confessions. The words leak their hearts’ crippling loneliness and fears that they are destined to remain alone.
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