fear

What Spooks You?

What Spooks You?

Across the street from our home is the holiday house. You probably have one in your neighborhood. They go all out for every holiday. On Saturday, cars stacked up on the main road leading into the neighborhood as families drove by slowly, taking in the massive display that must have cost the owners thousands of dollars.

 

Last week I drove by a home whose Halloween decorations weren’t as massive or ostentatious, but the lawn display was undoubtedly the eeriest I’ve ever seen. A life-like severed head hung from a tree limb. A decapitated corpse with a visible spinal cord jutting out between slumped shoulders sat underneath.

The Temptation of Temptation

The Temptation of Temptation

In 2023, 46 horror movies were released. 75 million tickets were sold, and the industry made $798 million in domestic revenue alone. It’s been argued that horror movies remain a draw for many in the contemporary West because there is so little actual danger in most of our lives.

 

Atheist Steven Pinker in The Better Angels of Our Nature argues that we live in the most peaceful era of human existence: wars have decreased, human rights have expanded, and rates of starvation and lifespans have improved. Drawn to conflict, we now have access to global news coverage, which gives us the dopamine hit of feeling like we are in conflict.

Why Satan Wants You to Think You're Alone

Why Satan Wants You to Think You're Alone

“I’m sure no one has ever told you this.”

“It’s so bad. You are going to think terrible things about me.”

“Everyone would hate me if they knew what I was thinking.”

“There is no one who loves me for me.”

I’ve heard each of these helpless words from those who sat on the couch in my office. They are raw, vulnerable, and heartbreaking confessions. The words leak their hearts’ crippling loneliness and fears that they are destined to remain alone.

What To Do When I Can't Feel

What To Do When I Can't Feel

“I’m not sure how to explain how I’m feeling.” I’ve heard a variation of this phrase dozens (probably hundreds) of times in my office, predominantly by men. They look down into the well of emotion and all they see is blackness. Others struggle with the ability to identify their emotions beyond angry or happy. Some people feel disconnected or indifferent toward others or in response to events. Emotionally numb people may struggle with expressing outwardly what is felt inwardly.

If you see yourself or a loved one in this description, you might be recognizing emotional numbness.

Emotional numbing is an understandable response to protect ourselves from pain. It can arise from trauma or simple emotional neglect.

How to Waste Your Counseling

How to Waste Your Counseling

I forgot that I knew him. Our pre-marital counselor sat behind his oak desk with a large smile peeking out from under his white mustache. His gentle eyes reassured me. Angel and I slid into the love seat, facing him. It was my first counseling session. Angel’s, too. We were here for pre-marital counseling.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Money is now more important to Americans than patriotism, religion, or kids: Peter Weber begins, “A Wall Street Journal/NORC poll released Monday found that "patriotism, religious faith, having children, and other priorities that helped define the national character for generations" have fallen steadily since 1998 and even 2019, the Journal reports.”

  2. Why do I need close friends? Roger Barrier shares, “Now, let me tell you a tragedy. Many people have no intimate friends. They are the loneliest people in the world. There is no one with whom they can open up. That’s why life is so tough.”

  3. The cost of fear: Karen Wade Hayes tells a simple story about baking a cake and fear. “As humans, we can be so impacted by fear that we hide or shrink back when new opportunities arise.”

  4. Five reasons you did not and cannot reinvent yourself: Lots of truth in this post by Brian Rosner. He says, “Human beings are social animals. A growing body of research—some parts surprising, some parts amusing—indicates the extent to which we are profoundly relational creatures and pushes against any notion that anyone is a self-made self.”

  5. An open letter to teens facing doubts about Christianity: Rebecca McLaughlin’s thoughts are winsome and true, “Sometimes you find yourself wondering what is really true. What if modern science has disproved God? What if Christians really are just bigots for not embracing same-sex marriage? What if all religions are equal paths to truth?”

Fear and Tremble

Fear and Tremble

Recently there was a tragic shooting at the University of Arizona. It impacted several close to me, including my mom, who knew the man killed in the tragedy. Hurricanes, opioids, cancer, car wrecks, and even the threat of war lurk and stir up anxiety and fear. Who wants more fear in their life?

A 2021 study found that Americans most want to avoid fear in their lives and most desire security and safety. On the flip side, Halloween is right around the corner: a holiday where Americans trivialize fear. Perhaps we think that we can lessen our anxieties if we make light of them.

Michael Reeves suggests that one type of fear can oust every other fear: the fear of God. To fear God is to experience true peace.

Michael Reeves is one of my favorite living Christian authors. He tackles profound theological topics with clarity and depth. In Rejoice and Tremble, Reeves argues for us to recover fear as a foundational posture in our relationship with God.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Which Sins are Feeding Your Sin of Lust? David Powlison talks about how important it is to press into the sin behind the sin of lust. He shares a breakthrough with one client, “Look what we just found out: another movie was playing in a theater next door. Suddenly we were not only dealing with a couple of bad behaviors: viewing pornography and masturbating. We were dealing with anger at God that was driving those behaviors. What was that about?”

  2. How to Give (and Receive) Repentance: Blake Glosson begins with this fun question, “Imagine you’re on Family Feud and Steve Harvey gives the following prompt: “We asked 100 sinners, ‘Name one reason why you do not repent of your sin to one another.’ The top seven answers are on the board.” What do you think the most common answers would be?”

  3. Don’t Always Be Efficient: If you’re like me, you might need this word from Seth Lewis. He asks, “Who wants an efficient friendship? Or marriage? Who would want to visit an efficient park, or art museum? Who prefers drive-through fast food to a slow evening meal where the conversation lasts longer than the courses? It’s great to be efficient, but it’s not always great.”

  4. Even the Darkness: Meredith Beatty shares, “As a child I was afraid of the dark, afraid that something sinister lurked under my bed just waiting to grab the stray toe hanging off the edge. But as an adult there’s a different kind of darkness, not literal, but just as scary. It’s one no one seeks and can descend upon us at any time. An uninvited blackout that clouds our hearts and brings despair.”

  5. Naturalism is Nonsense: The late RC Sproul doesn’t mince words in this short clip.

Why I Need Your Help to Be the Pastor I'm Supposed to Be

Why I Need Your Help to Be the Pastor I'm Supposed to Be

Moses was crushing it. The people loved him. He had lines out the doors for those who were hoping to hear a word from God or a word of wisdom from Moses.[i] Then his father-in-law, Jethro, showed up and told him he was leading poorly, not well.

Moses had every reason to not listen to Jethro’s advice. There were no real indicators Moses’s leadership style wasn’t working. And yet Moses heard Jethro’s advice and humbly heeded it.

In his letter to the church at Ephesus, Paul makes it clear that this is no mere stylistic choice for a godly leader. Healthy leadership is characterized by “equip[ing] the saints for the work of the ministry.”[ii] Did you catch that? Healthy leadership isn’t characterized by doing “the work of the ministry” but rather by equipping the congregation to do the work of the ministry.

That doesn’t exempt pastors from doing ministry. In fact, part of the way that we equip is by modeling ministry. But it does mean that our primary responsibility is equipping others to do ministry. It means that part of every pastor’s role should be mentoring and discipling, equipping and deploying. That means that in Dustin’s role in charge of connections at New Life, his primary role is to equip others to connect in our congregation, not be the one-stop connection shop for our church.

When we are equipping, our congregations are healthier, more unified places. Paul says in Ephesians that the outcome of leaders equipping the saints is twofold: unity of heart and spiritual growth and maturity. Who doesn’t want their congregation to grow in unity and maturity?

And yet, almost every impulse of the pastor and of the congregant fights against this biblical model.

How to Deal with Intrusive Thoughts: Four Questions to Ask

How to Deal with Intrusive Thoughts: Four Questions to Ask

You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you? That thought that jumps into your head, seemingly out of nowhere?

You’re driving along a winding mountain highway and you imagine what would happen if you yanked the steering wheel to the right: what would the crash look like? How would you tumble down the mountain?

Sometimes thoughts are born out of our curiosity. Other times intrusive thoughts enter that are born out of our hearts. We stew on our mistreatment from a colleague or friend and we imagine how we could put them in their place. We imagine harassing them, embarrassing them, even humiliating them.

Part of being a fallen human being is to have intrusive thoughts. An intrusive thought is a thought that enters our mind un-summoned. They might be morbid (imagining our death), violent (imagining injuring someone else), or sexual (imagining a sexual experience). Different people experience intrusive thoughts with different regularity. Different seasons of our lives can increase intrusive thoughts.

How do we deal with these thoughts? Let’s navigate four questions to ask ourselves when we experience intrusive thoughts. Next week we will consider some biblical wisdom on navigating these thoughts.