loneliness

Why Satan Wants You to Think You're Alone

Why Satan Wants You to Think You're Alone

“I’m sure no one has ever told you this.”

“It’s so bad. You are going to think terrible things about me.”

“Everyone would hate me if they knew what I was thinking.”

“There is no one who loves me for me.”

I’ve heard each of these helpless words from those who sat on the couch in my office. They are raw, vulnerable, and heartbreaking confessions. The words leak their hearts’ crippling loneliness and fears that they are destined to remain alone.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Was anyone more alone? Charisse Compton reflects, “I am hardly alone in my loneliness. About one in four adults across the world suffers from a similar hunger. Bankrupt of any long-term solutions, the world suggests increased human interactions to alleviate the suffering. But for all our digital connectedness, the loneliness epidemic persists and grows.”

  2. When I have intrusive thoughtsThis is a subject I’ve done a lot of thinking about as well. Lara D’Entremont offers solid counsel, “Through therapy, I learned that fighting against intrusive thoughts is like trying to stop water from gushing out of your faucet with your hands—it will continue to burst through, perhaps even explosively.”

Oatmeal Cookies Don't Make You Healthy

Oatmeal Cookies Don't Make You Healthy

Trigger warning: I love oatmeal cookies. Like, I might like the average oatmeal cookie better than the average chocolate chip cookie. I know. I’m weird.

 Beyond loving the taste of oatmeal cookies, I’ll admit that there is also the ancillary benefit of feeling healthy when you eat oatmeal cookies. I mean, you’ve got your whole grains, your dried fruit, your nuts. They’re practically health food, right?

 A quick search on the internet proves otherwise: one Costco oatmeal cookie weighs in at 230 calories, 9 grams of fat, and 20 grams of carbs. One Costco chocolate chip cookie tallies 210 calories, 11 grams of fat, and 27 grams of carbs. It’s basically a wash. Either way, you’re imbibing a disc of fat-packed, calorie-dense deliciousness.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. The Most Important Election in US History: Keith Mathison gives us some helpful perspective. He begins with this quote, “We have had many important elections, but never one so important as that now approaching…. The republic is approaching what is to be one of the most important elections in its history.”

2. The Answer to Loneliness: Andrew Blunt begins, “Loneliness is a serious and growing problem. The stats are pretty heartbreaking. One study found that 9 million people in the UK are always or often lonely—that’s just slightly more than the population of London or the entire population of Australia.”

3. 3 Apologetic Approaches to Reach the Next Generation: Jacob Haywood sums up his three approaches this way, “The next generation should see that the gospel applies to their lives, answers their biggest questions, and fulfills their deepest longings.”

4. How Big Should You Think? And How Big Should You Act? I appreciate the way Eric Geiger considers this. He begins, “Some leaders seem to think small and act big. There is not a large vision that captivates them, grand plans that motivate them, or an overwhelming sense of awe for the opportunity in front of them. Yet at the same time they seem to act big. They hold tightly to their positions, enjoying that others view them as and and that they are able to make decisions that impact others. Their plans may be small, but they act large.”

5. The Science of Male and Female: What does God teach us about gender through nature? Steven Wedgeworth begins, “Recent breakthroughs in human genetics have made it clear that humanity is fundamentally dimorphic, which is to say, human nature is irreducibly male and female.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. How to 'Disciple' Your Kids into Church Dropout Status: Jared Wilson shares six ways that, by going along with cultural Christianity, we de-church our kids. His fifth way is by church hopping, He explains, "But families that hop from church to church as kids grow or tastes change or disappointments accumulate train their kids to treat church not like a family one commits to through thick and thin but like a consumeristic product one can always throw away for a perceived upgrade. And this is just one step away from deciding church in general isn’t useful."

2. Why the Current Loneliness Epidemic is a Gospel Opportunity: Sam Kim wonders, "Perhaps our culture’s current crushing opioid crisis, porn addiction, and the rise of Tinder are all part of this holy searching gone horribly wrong."

3. The Celebrity Pastor We've Never Known: Tim Challies helps us open our eyes to another kind of pastor who ought to be famous, "When we remember those men who most faithfully pastored us, we probably think of more than their sermons. And there’s a reason for that. The faithful pastor serves his people faithfully not just in the most public element of his ministry, but also in the most private."

4. 4 Theological Questions Your Church Has About Regathering: Kent Annan and Jamie Aten ask four timely questions: “1) Is not going back to church asking out of fear instead of faith?” “2) If I wear a mask, am I acting out of fear than faith?” “3) Is it rude to ask people to wear masks to church?” “4) Should we stay united in Christ even when we disagree?”

5. A #2020 Confession: Molly Montana’s prayer is simple and poignant.

6. One of the Most Misused Words Today: Craig Troxel tells us how we misuse the word heart today.

Life is Better Together

Life is Better Together

“Wilson, where are you? Wilson! Wilson! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Wilson. Wilson, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Wilson! I can’t!”

If you’ve seen Cast Away, this scene is etched in your memory. Chuck Noland (played by Tom Hanks) is on his rudimentary raft trying to paddle to freedom when his beach volleyball companion falls off and begins floating away. Stranded on a deserted island for four years, the volleyball is Noland’s only friend. Your heart breaks as Noland’s inanimate friend drifts away.

Cast Away is a great movie not only about the triumph of the human spirit, but also about the reality that we are made to live in community. It can be watched as an extended meditation on God’s words in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.” The very first thing our Triune God says is “not good” in creation is our aloneness.

GOD IS COMMUNITY

That isn’t surprising. God is community. Our Triune God has existed in community for eternity. Creation is an overflow of that love. Theologian Michael Reeves explains what it means that God is three-in-one, and not just one, “Everything changes when it comes to the Father, Son and Spirit. Here is a God who is not essentially lonely, but who has been loving for all eternity as the Father has loved the Son in the Spirit. Loving others is not a strange or novel thing for this God at all; it is the root of who he is.”[i]

When the apostle John says, “God is love” (1 John 4:8), he is speaking about the very nature of our three-in-one God. And so, when God creates us in his image, we are created to image this love. Theologian John Owen wrote God is “the fountain and prototype of all love… And all love in the creation was introduced from this fountain, to give a shadow and resemblance of it.”[ii] We were made to reflect the active love of God that has existed for eternity.

We need community to be who God has intended us to be.

Life is better together.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. The Virus Changed the Way We Internet: Unsurprisingly, since COVID-19 changed our lives a month ago, our internet habits have changed significantly. The NY Times looks into the data including the fact that Zoom usage is up over 300% and visits to ESPN.com are down over 40%.

2. What Skeptical Scholars Admit About the Resurrection Appearances of Jesus: New Testament scholar Justin Bass says that even cynical scholars admit that the followers of Jesus saw something. One scholar says it this way, “I know in their own terms what they saw was the raised Jesus. That’s what they say, and then all the historic evidence we have afterwards attest to their conviction that that’s what they saw. I’m not saying that they really did see the raised Jesus. I wasn’t there. I don’t know what they saw. But I do know that as a historian that they must have seen something.”

3. When Loneliness is Your Closest Companion: Kimberly Wagner talks about a chance encounter with a widow. It began, “I don’t cook much anymore, my husband past away a year ago, and my life is so different now. So very different . . .” Her voice trailed off to a past era of joy and companionship. My voice went soft, “I’m so very sorry.” And those four small words invited her to share more."

4. Historical Objects that Tell the Story of Easter: This is a great post by Tim Challies that grounds the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth in archaeological findings. The Alexamenos graffiti is so cool.

5. Stories of God’s Rescue: We were able to celebrate baptism at New Life this Easter. Here are the tear-inducing stories of those who God rescued.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       The Loneliness Epidemic: In a world more connected than ever, we have a significant loneliness problem, Bob Smietana shares, "More than half of Americans (56 percent) say they feel lonely, even when surrounded by other people. Forty-six percent say they feel no one knows them very well. Thirty-six percent believe there is no one they can turn to—at least some of the time. Nearly 1 in 5 say they don’t have people they can turn to (19 percent) or talk to (18 percent), according to a new survey of more than 20,000 Americans from Cigna, a global health service company."

2.       The Soul Mate Fantasy: David Beasley says that the idea of a soul-mate isn't just wrong, it's harmful: "Nowhere in the Bible does God say anything about soul mates. God gives us the simple details on how to have a great marriage: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Wives, respect your husbands."

3.       Moms Need Soul Care Over Self CareMaggie Combs with wisdom for men and women alike: "It's almost impossible to visit a motherhood website, blog, or play group without running into it. The concept of self-care is simple: If the plane is going down, you should put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others. But if your motherhood plane is about to crash and burn, God is the only source for the oxygen you need to survive the fall. Self-care encourages coffee runs, nap times spent reading novels, pedicures, happy hour with girlfriends, new clothes, massages, exercising, decorating homes, and lavender bubble baths. There is nothing inherently bad in this list, but the problem lies in the elevation of these good things as necessities for surviving (or even thriving in) motherhood."

4.       Good News! Satan Wants to Destroy You! Derek Rishmawy reminds us that alongside the very real and active presence of our adversary, God is at work: "But Christ has robbed those accusations of their force by wiping away our guilt through his death on the cross (Col. 2:14). And he sends the Spirit of God not as our Accuser but as our Advocate, testifying to our hearts that we are God’s dearly loved children."

5.       Culture is the Hardest and the Last Thing Changed: Eric Geiger with a good word to leaders, "I frequently hear leaders talk about changing the culture as if it is their first order of business. An inexperienced and unwise leader declares, “I am going to change the culture.” Leader, if you change the culture, it will be the last thing you change. Not the first. You can’t simply speak a new culture into existence. You are not God. You may desire to influence the culture but you are woefully mistaken if you think you can show up and announce a new culture.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.      Which Generation is the Loneliest? Surprisingly, Gen Z wins this distinction, but not for the reasons we might assume: "The study found no correlation between social media use and feelings of loneliness. Very heavy users of social media scored about the same on the loneliness scale as those who never use it."

2.      What is a Woman? Sandra Glahn answers this question deftly, She concludes, "In a world in which #MeToo and #ChurchToo remind us that brokenness has infiltrated every part of society including the church, the Bible’s truths are absolutely relevant. When God brought ishah (woman) to ish (man), he called their partnership “very good.” Let us show by our words and actions that we believe his words to be true."

3.      It's No Tragedy to Miss the Model: Til Challies reminds us that if marriage is a model, missing the model and gaining the real thing is okay: "Marriage is the miniature or the model while Christ and his church are full-scale, the real thing. This leads to an important application that pertains especially to those who are not married. When we understand the meaning of marriage, we realize that even if you never marry or are no longer married, you are not missing out on something that is essential to the human experience. If marriage had no meaning beyond itself, perhaps you would be missing out on something essential. But because marriage points to something else, you simply are not."

4.      Violence Against Women Begins in the Womb: This chilling report by Elaine Storkey is a must-read: "For the last two decades, reports have consistently illustrated the extent of the problem. After investigators uncovered 400 pieces of bone believed to be of female fetuses, reporters gave graphic details: “Last September,” wrote Raekha Prasad and Randeep Ramesh in The Guardian, 'remains of dozens of babies were exhumed from a pit outside an abortion clinic in Punjab. To dispose of the evidence, acid was used to melt the flesh and then the bones were hammered to smithereens.'"

5.      Tour of the Moon in 4K: Thanks to NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter spacecraft, I doubt you've ever seen the moon like this. Wow! 

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Netflix Thinks You're Bored and Lonely: Trevin Wax pushes back on the way our culture thinks about boredom, "The entertainment industry expects us to see boredom as bad, which is why advertisers, sponsors, filmmakers, and game-makers collaborate to create shows, movies, and games that will capture our attention and keep us preoccupied. There’s money to be made in eliminating boredom. But is boredom always a problem, or could it be a possibility? Talk to people whose job it is to make things with their hands or create things in their head, and they’ll tell you that great things happen when your mind runs free."

2.       Ruth Graham Didn’t Waste Her Life: Dave Boehi reflects on the lessons we can learn from the beautiful marriage of Ruth and Billy Graham. He reflects on Ruth’s sacrifice, “One writer for The Washington Post wrote, ‘What a sign of those times, one might say. Or, how sad. The world will never know what else Ruth Graham … could have accomplished …’ What the world often fails to understand is that God often calls people to set aside their own plans in order to follow Him … and then He uses them in greater ways as a result.”

3.       Evidence of Evangelical Political Pragmatism: A discouraging survey I recently came across. Self-described evangelicals' position on how important a politician's morality is has shifted dramatically since the 1990s. And not in a good way.

4.       High-Stakes Leadership: This Read to Lead podcast with Constance Derickx is loaded with good stuff. Derickx definition of courageous impatience and patience particularly struck me.

5.       Why (almost) No One Wants to Host the Olympics Anymore: The 2004 games garnered 12 bids from around the world. Zeeshan Aleem reports that the next two summer and winter Olympics received a total of two bids each. Why? Former cities who hosted the Olympics are littered with unsightly abandoned facilities and a huge price tag for the honor: "Pyeongchang, South Korea, built a brand new Olympic stadium to host the Winter Games this year. The 35,000-seat stadium cost $109 million to build. And it will be used just four times before it’s demolished."