emotions

Don't Numb Your Feelings

Don't Numb Your Feelings

“Don’t listen to your feelings; remember what Jesus did for you!”

“Don’t be guided by your feelings; listen to what God commands you to do!”

In just the past week, I heard both of these warnings. Two very different Christian speakers urged their audiences to shut down their feelings. These admonitions resonate. They contain truth. It is correct that our feelings don’t override truth, nor do our emotions negate what God has done. Neither do our feelings give us an out for what God commands us to do.

Lord, Reach Your Justice Down

Lord, Reach Your Justice Down

I had outsized emotions as a child. Games, especially, would get the best of me, whether cards or boardgames or sports. In response to a stroke of bad luck, a hot surge of anger would erupt, followed quickly by tears and then embarrassment.

Emotions are God’s gift to us in many ways. They are one of his kind ways of showing us where our deep attachments lie.

Our son started his freshman year at the University of Arizona this fall. It’s been a great experience for him, but not without its adjustments. The climate of a secular school is quite different than the Christian school he graduated from

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Are the Five Love Languages real? Researchers say, maybe not so much, but they can still be helpful. “For example, people will choose a preferred language if forced to in a quiz. However, researchers found that if asked about all five love languages on an individual basis — people rate all of them highly. The researchers also found that some important ideas, such as supporting a partner’s or spouse’s goals, don’t fit in the five love language model and that people who have the same love languages aren’t happier than other couples.”

  2. How not to be a grumpy old womanMelody Richeson begins, “My ninety-eight-year-old mother recently passed away after living with me for three years.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Imagine you are standing at a bus stop headed to an interview when a bicyclist rides by and splashes mud on you. What is the story you tell yourself? About the bicyclist? About how you think your interview will play out? What impression do you think the interviewer will now have about you?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why the Search for the Church that Meets Your Needs is Futile: Carey Nieuwhof asks, “Should the criteria of a church meeting your needs be the reason you change churches? Well, what if the church was never intended to meet your needs? What if the furthest thing from God’s mind when he created the church was to meet your needs?”

  2. Why You Should Name and Feel Even Negative Emotions: Lara D’Entremont reflects, “I rarely dealt with or named my emotions—at least not the “negative” ones. They had to be killed, banished, ignored, and stuffed. I learned this from both Christian circles (like the counselor above) and my own fears. I didn’t want others to see my emotions. Negative emotions always equaled sin and weakness in my mind, a reason for people to look down their noses at me. So I tried to kill my negative feelings with kindness—or gratitude. But what if there’s goodness in every emotion—even in the ones we don’t like so much?”

  3. Expressive Individualism and the Death of Mental “Illness” Samuel James’s point is worth considering. He says, “Here’s one guess: Personality profiling is the last politically-acceptable way of receiving an identity, rather than crafting one. And many people today are weary of crafting their own custom identity and would very much like to belong to something instead.”

  4. Prayers That God Will Not Answer: Tim Challies begins, “There are times when it seems like God does not hear us. There are times when it seems like God has become deaf to our prayers and unresponsive to our cries. There are times when we seek but do not find, knock but do not find the door opened. Why is it that God sometimes does not answer our prayers?”

  5. Beneath Our Social Justice Strife: Thaddeus Williams has four questions for both sides. He begins, “Over the last five years, the topic of social justice has become something of a jackhammer in some churches, reducing congregations to rubble, shaking denominations, even fracturing fellowship between old friends. Online cloisters have formed in which anyone to our left must be a social-justice-warrior snowflake or a neo-Marxist. And, in other cloisters, anyone to our right is probably a white supremacist or a neo-Nazi. Meanwhile, the exhausted majority feels caught in the crossfire, hoping for some new way forward.”

Maundy Thursday Recommendations

Maundy Thursday Recommendations

1. 2 in 3 Americans Believe in the Resurrection…But… Aaron Earls asks author Rebecca McLaughlin for her response to a recent poll on Americans’ belief in the resurrection.

2. Waiting With Faith: Tim Challies begins, “Have you ever bitten into a green tomato? Have you ever sunk your teeth into a fall apple during the heat of summer or into a summer strawberry during the cool of spring?”

3. Hide and Seek: Chris Thomas isn’t just a friend, he’s one of my favorite bloggers. You’ll thank me for reading this beautiful story of the gospel at work in Chris’s relationship with his adopted son. He concludes, “I don’t need to run anymore. I don’t need to live in fear anymore, to pretend anymore. I am in Christ, that is enough.”

4. How Can I Help My Marriage Get Unstuck from the Past? Garrett Higby offers good advice from a biblical counseling perspective here. He says that, “ignoring unresolved issues from the past that shade or distort almost every conflict, make them easily offended, and create compensatory patterns or unrealistic expectations.”

5. Engaging Our Emotions, Engaging with God: Alistair Groves begins, “Emotions are tricky. Everyone has them. Everyone struggles with them. Many struggle with how they feel more than anything else in their lives. Then there is the sea of other people’s emotions in which all of us swim. I suspect most of us consider emotions to be more of a liability than an asset.”