Christian Living

How To Lead Your Family Spiritually

How To Lead Your Family Spiritually

On the precipice of empty-nesting (we have a nineteen-year-old and a seventeen-year-old in our house), I’ve been reflecting a bit about what has worked and what hasn’t worked as I have tried to lead our family spiritually.

I have had my share of failures as a spiritual leader of our family. By God’s grace, our kids are faithfully following Christ. Their vibrant spiritual lives are a mercy of God’s grace, not a product of Angel and my strategy or hard work.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Knowing the Future Doesn’t Cure Anxiety: Jen Wilkin’s post is loaded with wisdom, “We reason that if we knew what tomorrow would bring, we would use that information wisely to make good choices. But the story of Peter’s denial warns us otherwise. Jesus tells him explicitly how anxiety will cause him to sin in his immediate future. He does not alter his course. Peter’s knowledge of the future serves not to correct him but to condemn him. Foreknowledge yielded neither repentance nor humility in Peter.”

  2. Three Questions to Make Sense of Anxiety: In a similar vein, Joe Hussung notes that, “Our intuition is to say that anxiety is all about what we fear, but in reality, it is deeper than that. Anxiety is actually about what we love.”

  3. What Jesus Saw When He Looked at Peter After the Rooster Crowed: Erik Raymond with another related post, encourages us, “How do you think Jesus looked at Peter? Was Jesus surprised? Frustrated? Ashamed? If you are a Christian, then your understanding of how Jesus looked at Peter is foundational to your perception of how he looks at you when you sin.”

  4. Gen Z Couples are Shacking Up at Record Rates: Unsurprising report from Bloomberg, that 11% of those aged 18-24 are living with romantic partner. The 3.2 million cohabitating are 650,000 more than the same age group pre-pandemic.

  5. America the Single: Again, unfortunately unsurprising. Erica Pandey explains, “Over the last 50 years, the marriage rate in the U.S. has dropped by nearly 60%.”

A Healing Place

A Healing Place

It was a long week. I felt sniped at by a handful of complaints from congregants. I was fighting for a spirit of gratitude as frustration grew in my heart. I stepped into a meeting and did my best to be present, but the inner critic’s voice was loud. I asked a simple question to kick things off: “Where is God growing you?” Tears welled in the eyes of the woman across from me. “New Life is my safe place, my growing place. New Life is my healing place. Every time I come to church, it feels like a hug.”

The Plumb Line

The Plumb Line

Who is the person you compare yourself to most often? Perhaps it is a family member, friend, or co-worker; perhaps it is even a celebrity. We humans are comparison machines. We’re constantly evaluating the stimuli around us.  Social media has exacerbated the issue, giving us instant access into the highlight reels of thousands of friends and celebrities. Psychology Today reports that, “According to some studies, as much as 10 percent of our thoughts involve comparisons of some kind.” Friend, this kind of toxic comparison is harmful.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The Clay-Pot Conspiracy: Dave Harvey begins, “One year ago, we lost our youngest daughter to her longstanding battle against addiction. Walking alongside her in this multiyear struggle sank us into parts of this broken world we never dreamed we would inhabit. Dark places with desperate people became familiar terrain. We fought for life. Death won. Now our precious daughter is gone. Each morning I stare into the eyes of her 2-year-old son, now entrusted to us.”

  2. Forgiveness Without Limits: Vicki Bentley concludes, “No matter what insecurity issues we might carry with us today, we know that the cross is our ultimate cure, and in this mighty act of love, our perfectionism can be put in its place for good.”

  3. Words Grow Wiser with Age: Lara d’Entremont begins, “As a middle schooler and high schooler, I remember having big opinions about God, life, relationships, and all the things. I believed my answers were right, and to view things any differently was utter foolishness and absurdity. I had scathing words for people who didn’t agree with me over theology, dating, and clothing choices. I became easily enraged by those who thought contrary to my beliefs.”

  4. The Joy of Being Forgiven: Tom Sugimura with a simple to profound reflection, “As David speaks for God it’s as though he’s saying, “I’ll kneel down to eye-level when I give you my instructions. I will lead you with my loving eye upon you.” The painful “bit and bridle” are just for stubborn beasts who won’t obey their master. Yet forgiven saints will gallop free in God’s enduring love.”

  5. Tiktoker Says Christians Must Choose Between Faith and Evidence: A helpful brief response to a common critique of the Christian faith.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. See Me: Andrea Sanborn begins, “Mommy, watch!” She twirls through the living room, nightgown billowing around her legs. “Watch me!” she pleads, spinning and dancing in the hope of her mother’s regard.”

  2. Dear Nursery Worker: Lara d’Entremont shares, “I came into your nursery with a lot of baggage. Not just a heavy diaper bag slung over my shoulder and a toddler clinging to my side. I came with grief from miscarriages. I came with sorrow from leaving the church we used to call home. I came with fear and uncertainty if this would be the place we could call our church.”

  3. Know the Difference Between Laziness and Limitations: Tim Shorey, who is battling stage four cancer imparts wisdom, “Losing your job may mean you don’t leave your house every morning. Nursing a newborn may mean you sit in a rocking chair for hours. Struggles with migraines or insomnia may mean you sleep when the rest of the world is busy. These are not matters for guilt. They are limitations.”

  4. There are an Infinite Number of Wheels in God’s Providence: Jacob Crouch asks, “Have you ever seen one of those Rube Goldberg machines? A Rube Goldberg machine is a contraption where someone sets up an incredibly complicated chain reaction in order to accomplish a simple task. (Check out this guy’s amazing basketball one for an example). I’m always amazed at how every little detail has to work out exactly right, or the whole thing falls apart. I’ve even made one before, and the smallest variation in any part can throw the whole thing off. For it to work as it was designed, even the most minute detail must happen exactly at the right place and the right time. God’s providence in our lives is infinitely more complex and amazing.”

  5. The Unconventional Model Behind Chic-fil-A’s Success: Really neat to see just how different Chic-fil-A’s approach is. Lots of leadership lessons here to be learned.

You Don't Trust Me. What Now?

You Don't Trust Me. What Now?

The world doesn’t trust me. It doesn’t trust you either. But don’t lose heart. Christ has overcome the world. And he calls us into the world with the assurance of his presence and his power. May we live in a manner that reflects his light to this dark world. Daniel promises that, “And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.” May we shine for his glory, entrusting our reputation to God and God alone.

7 Ways To Fight Well

7 Ways To Fight Well

Have you ever sent off an email or a text with the jab of an angry finger? Have you ever slammed a door or punched a wall? Have you ever hung up on someone? We all have conflict in our lives.

We encounter conflict daily: we have disagreements with our spouses, parents, children, co-workers, and neighbors. But how do we navigate conflict and come out the other side in one piece? How do we not become the worst version of ourselves during conflict? What if conflict provided an opportunity for us to grow as people and also to glorify God?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  • Your Attention Span Isn’t Dead – Yet: Rebecca Ruiz begins, “I have a modest dare for you, dear reader: Try to stay on this page for longer than 47 seconds. That may seem like a ridiculously short and easy period to focus on one task, but studies show that the average time spent on a single screen has shrunk to less than a minute.”

  • How Should We Handle Outrage? Amy Hall reminds us, “It’s not wrong to be outraged by evil. Our desire for justice flows directly from our love for God and our knowledge of his magnificent, righteous, beautiful character. Because he is the standard of all justice, we likewise love justice. Because he is the Creator, all truth is valuable. And because we love the truth, lies are maddening. Because he has explained what it means to love, we know how to truly help people. And because we love people, injustices infuriate. God himself is angry at evil because evil destroys human beings, who are created in his image, so our outrage is understandable.”

  • Facts Don’t Care About Your Healings: This is a dense, but important post by Samuel James. He draws toward this conclusion, “Ben Shapiro’s famous tweet “Facts don’t care about your feelings” has come to symbolize the reactionary conservative movement. Feelings are thought now to be left-coded, and facts right-coded. This isn’t all that new. But the recoding of justice/forgiveness suggests that it is now conservatives who find themselves the party of emotional health, over and against the progressives as the party of capital-L Law.”

  • Don’t Be a Fig Leaf: Kim Barnes, “Yet we are often uncomfortable when people we love confess sin. Almost like a reflex, we want to reassure and comfort. How many times has someone apologized to you and your automatic response was: “It’s okay”? We minimize the sins of others because we minimize our own sin. While we should love and forgive the friend who comes to us in confession, it’s not okay. Sin is not okay.”

  • The Peace of Wild Things: Stop what you’re doing and give just over a minute of your attention to this beautiful poem that echoes Jesus’s words about the sparrow.

7 Ways to Fight Poorly

7 Ways to Fight Poorly

I wake up first in our home. I get dressed and start the coffee. I wake up Angel and our two teenage kids. The other day, I wake my daughter up with a kiss to the forehead, “good morning, sweetie, it’s time to wake up.” “No, it isn’t!” she responded, pulling her covers over her head. My first whiff of conflict.

I go back downstairs and work on breakfast. At 6:50 everyone is supposed to be gathered around the table. Usually only one of the three is there. I would tell you who, but you know, conflict. It lurks again.