Parenting

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

Happy Thanksgiving friends! 

I am thankful for you. I echo Paul's prayer in Philippians 1:3-5, "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now."

It is a gift to walk with you as we grow in faith, in love, and in hope. 

With gratitude,

John

 

1.      Dads, We Have a Powerful Influence in the Lives of Our Daughters: Charlotte Andersen reports, "'I see too many men buy into the idea of 'that's a girl's issue' or 'only a woman can understand another woman' and avoid talking to their daughters about sex, dating, or other 'girly' topics. They may assume their daughters should automatically fit into preconceived gender roles,' Dr. Brown says. 'I also see men who are locked into their own narrow view of what it means to be a father to their daughter. They believe that their only role is as a provider and protector, and they end up working too much and missing out on those wonderful father-daughter bonding moments. It doesn't have to be that way at all.'"

2.     The Worst Consequence of Skipping Church: Tim Challies reminds us that "Gathering with God’s people is not first about being blessed but about being a blessing. It’s not first about getting but about giving."

3.     5 Truths About the Holy Spirit: Alastair Begg on five important truths about the Holy Spirit. 

4.      Do You Love Your Wife Out of Obligation? The close of Brian Goins article shifts how we so often think about marriage: "In Scripture, God’s bride blossoms after the wedding day and becomes more beautiful and splendid over time, not because she “worked out” or “aged gracefully,” but because God loved her into radiance. If a man views the wedding day as the height of his bride’s beauty, then he will never love like Jesus. He’ll constantly be comparing what was rather than anticipating his role in what it could be. For Jesus, the wedding day was simply the start of a lifelong extreme makeover designed to advance His bride to royalty.

5.      We Are Sinking! This Berlitz commercial still makes me laugh out loud.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Please Stop Saying Christianity is a Relationship, Not a Religion: Kevin Halloran responds to the claim that Christianity is a relationship, not a religion, "Christianity isn’t a dead religion of boredom at church, life as a hypocrite, and trying to be better than everyone else. It’s having the God of the Universe who was once my enemy as my loving Heavenly Father. It’s having my sins forgiven through Christ’s blood and communion with God by His Spirit. It’s living hope for this broken world and the promise of restoration. And, oh yeah, I have an eternal inheritance that no man, demon, or trial can EVER snatch away from me. Now that is a religion and relationship worth pursuing religiously.”

2.       Why Your Child's Feelings Shouldn't Be the Final Arbiter for How You Parent: Melissa Edgington with this counter-cultural truth: "We have been taught to pay special attention to our kids’ feelings and to validate them as much as we can. I’m not saying this is a terrible practice. I mean, it’s never bad to consider someone’s feelings. But can I say with all honesty that about 85% of a kid’s feelings about things are irrelevant? Kids feel 147 different ways before lunchtime. They get upset if their graham cracker is broken. They cry like their heart is broken because a dog licked their elbow. Worse than that, they will kick and scream like you’re murdering them because you’re trying to buckle them into a carseat or keep them from grabbing a hot burner or stop them from running into the street. If we pay attention to every feeling that a kid has, we will be paralyzed and completely ineffective as parents."

3.       10 Common but Illegitimate Reasons to Get a Divorce: Tim Challies shares from Jim Newheiser's new book on marriage helpful responses to these ten common reasons given for divorce.

4.       They Shall Know Us by Our Clutter: Kristin Du Mez reports, "I recently came across the results of this anthropological study, published in 2012: Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century: 32 Families Open Their Doors... the authors analyzed and cataloged the visible possessions in each and every room of the 32 households—counting, documenting, examining, and coding artifacts in situ, in their place. Devoting thousands of hours to data collection, they hoped to glean insights on the acquisition and organization of material artifacts, and on how families interacted with their possessions, and with one another. The results of the study are at once illuminating and devastating. Their most striking findings concern the sheer magnitude of our material possessions."

5.       Yosemite: Range of Light: The whole earth is full of his glory!

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       How to Talk to a Child You're Disciplining: Simple but important advice. " Words like these will reassure your children of their value to you. They will underscore that the foundation of your relationship is bigger and stronger than any wrong act they could perform. Words like these mirror how God the Father loves you."

2.       7 Questions to Ask Your Staff on a Bi-Annual Basis: These are great questions from David Fantin. I especially like #1 and #3: "how is work affecting your soul?" and "are you being utilized to the best of your abilities?"

3.       Do You Regret Your Dating History?  Marshall Segal reflects, "Nearly two thirds of not-yet-married Christians express regret over previous relationships. That means the critical questions in dating are not just whom to date, how to date, and when to wed, but what to do when we get it wrong. And the reality is most of us get it wrong at some point along the way."

4.        I Am Not a Pirate: The first story about how the worst pirate in the world met the best pirate in the world is especially good. 

5.       How Geography Made the US a Superpower: This is such a unique way to read the history of the United States. Beyond discussing how geography made us a superpower, the video talks about why cities ended up where they did and how those cities were shaped as well. 

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Sea Lions, Sharks, Dolphins, and a Whale take on a Shoal of Sardines: This is incredible to watch.

2.       How to Ruin Your Teens for Life: Eleven ways to make sure your teen is not prepared for the future by Tricia Goyer.

3.       Entertainment and Worship: Joe Thorn with a nuanced perspective on entertainment and worship: "The nineteenth-century pastor Charles Spurgeon said, “The devil has seldom done a cleverer thing than hinting to the church that part of their mission is to provide entertainment for the people, with a view to winning them.” It may not be new, but it is increasingly popular, especially in light of our entertainment-driven culture."

4.       Will We Be Married in Heaven? Randy Alcorn responds to what he says is the most frequently asked question he gets about heaven: "there will be one marriage in Heaven, not many. That marriage will be what earthly marriage symbolized and pointed to, the marriage of Christ to His bride. So we will all be married—but to Christ... However, I do envision that people who’ve had important roles in each other’s lives will continue to be friends—and that would include a lot of people who’ve been married. So although married couples’ relationships will look different in Heaven, that certainly doesn’t mean that earthly marriage is unimportant and that God doesn’t use it in our lives in profound ways."

5.       What if There are More Categories Than Creation vs. Nurture? Justin Taylor explores the idea of creation nature, sin nature, sin nurture, and grace nurture. It's a very helpful way to think about this issue from a gospel perspective. 

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       The Birth of a Daughter and the Birth of the Camera Phone: The story of how the camera phone was born.

2.       8 Major Changes in the Church in the Past 10 Years: Thom Rainer reflects on the most significant changes in the church in the past decade. It's a pretty encouraging list.

3.       A Hill to Die On: When is a hill worth dying on? Jonathan Van Maren reflects on whether hills are worth dying on. Douglas Wilson's quote is helpful and I'm still wrestling with it: "Whenever we get to that elusive and ever-receding “hill to die on,” we will discover, upon our arrival there, that it only looked like a hill to die on from a distance. Up close, when the possible dying is also up close, it kind of looks like every other hill. All of a sudden it looks like a hill to stay alive on, covered over with topsoil that looks suspiciously like common ground. So it turns out that surrendering hills is not the best way to train for defending the most important ones. Retreat is habit-forming."

4.       The Case for Free Range Kids: Lenore Skenazy makes a case for free range kids by sharing a story of the day she let her 9 year old find his way home in New York City.

5.       Thunderstruck: a collection of beautiful supercell thunderstorms.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Danny Macaskill's Wee Day Out: This is fantastic. Sweet, fun, and amazing. And the cinematography is great too!

2.       Need Volunteers? Your Church's Culture May Be the Issue: Almost every church needs volunteers. Here is the reason it may be our fault. 

3.       What’s True in the Global Warming Debate? It’s so hard to sort out truth in our politicized culture. Justin Taylor shares an example of how a thoughtful person tries to disentangle the global warming debate from the political tentacles.

4.       How to Ruin Your Teens for Life: Eleven ways to make sure your teen is not prepared for the future by Tricia Goyer.

5.       One Key Pursuit for Young Christians: Tim Challies on the importance of our early life and how differently God planned his Son's life than we would have: "But it fell to God—not you or me—to set the course for his life, and God planned it very differently. Jesus lived for around 33 years, but his entire public ministry fit into just the final three. He spent 90 percent of his life in obscurity and only 10 percent in the public eye. For every one year that was recorded, there were 10 that were not. God arranged the itinerary, and he chose to have Jesus spend 30 years in quiet preparation for his three years of public activity."

6.       Free EBook: The Gospel and Personal Evangelism: Crossway is offering one of my favorite books on evangelism for free. Check it out!

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Cloud Inversion at the Grand Canyon: Breathtaking time lapse captures of wild cloud formations at the Grand Canyon.

2.       I Just Want Her to Be Happy: Leonard Sax speaks truth, " Today, I often hear American parents say, “I just want my child to be happy.” Unfortunately, when you let contemporary American kids do whatever makes them happy, the result is likely to be teenage girls who spend all their time on Instagram or Snapchat, and teenage boys whose favorite pastimes are video games and pornography... It is no use letting kids do whatever they desire unless you have first educated their desire. The first job of the parent is to educate the child’s desire... "

3.       What is Drawing People to Church? Gallup research surprisingly discovers the two biggest draws to church are biblical sermons and practical application in those sermons.

4.       The Type of Elder You Don’t Want: What is the most important attribute in an elder? Brian Dodd argues it is prayerfulness. 

5.       Embrace Your Purpose: Tim Challies with a similar reflection to my recent series “A Purposeful Life” " Men, this is your purpose: to bring glory to God by doing good for others. This means your life is not first about you. You’re not the point of your existence or the hero of your salvation. You were created by God and for God. You were saved to bring glory to God by doing good to others. This is your purpose." 

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Spring arrives at Central Park: perfectly orchestrated breathtaking short video.

2.       How to Raise Your Children as Best Friends: I was so grateful my sister was my best friend growing up and have been so blessed to watch our children grow up as each other's best friends. Jen Wilkin has a helpful reflection on how to cultivate that friendship.

3.       Living the Victorious Christian Life: Michael Bird on what victory in Christ looks like, "Remember, when Jesus hung upon that cross, he did not feel victorious, he felt abandoned, he felt betrayed, he experienced the full extent of human misery. And yet that is where we are told God has won his victory, his triumph, where he conquered the world, the flesh, and the devil."

4.       Schools Kill Creativity: this Ken Robinson TED talk has been watched over 45 million times and you should watch it too. I love his point that, because of our fear of being wrong, we grow out of creativity.

5.       Six Things You Need to Know About God's Wrath: Colin Smith tackles this difficult but important topic: “ At the core of the human problem is that we are sinners under the judgment of God, and the divine wrath hangs over us unless and until it is taken away.”

Slow Down: a Dad's Reflection

Slow Down: a Dad's Reflection

Our kids just finished fifth and seventh grade. Unless God has unexpected plans for us, elementary school is now in our rear view mirror. The week of my son’s fifth grade promotion, Nicole Nordeman’s “Slow Down” came on. I froze as I listened and welled up.

What Our 2 Year Old Foster Child Taught Me About Care

What Our 2 Year Old Foster Child Taught Me About Care

Valentijn was hand-in-hand with the aid and Romeo in the crook of her arm. The aid had just driven the boys from the shelter, where they had spent three weeks. Chubby Romeo was ten months old at the time and well adjusted. It was two-year old Valentijn who had been impacted the most significantly. This was the third time Valentijn had been removed from his home. He was affectionate but fragile without boundaries.

As the Department of Childcare Services Specialist filled out the transfer paperwork to make our foster care official, Valentijn sat on my lap and pulled out the decorative pine cones from the bowl on the table and chucked them on the ground, one by one.

Not knowing what it looked like to love and discipline him well, I sat there, semi-stunned, and let him disassemble my wife’s handiwork. From that first moment, I knew parenting these two would prove to be a much different task than raising our two biological children.