Sexuality

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

As LGBTQ Identification Rise, Conversations More Important: Aaron Earls reports, “Today, 10.5% of millennial adults identify as LGBTQ, whereas 5.8% did so 2017.”

  1. Young Adults Have Complicated Relationship with Money: Marissa Postell reports that, “The typical Christian young adult donates more than three times as much as non-Christians over the course of a year ($1,820 v. $556).”

  2. How to Work With a Domineering Boss: Joseph Grenny at Crucial Conversations responds to this question in a surprising way, “I have a domineering boss who micromanages everything I do. He has no filter when speaking to me and often is just outright rude. Whenever I send out a piece of work, he finds fault with it and tries to undermine my confidence. Having read online about his characteristics, I truly believe he suffers from narcissism. The sad fact is that he gets results and senior management love him, so he is untouchable. How can I deal with this aside from leaving the company?”

  3. No, Christianity is Not as Bad as You Think: Josh Howerton responds to five cultural narratives. He begins with this one, “Cultural narrative #1: Christians aren’t really pro-life; they’re just pro-birth. Christians are sometimes accused of being pro-birth more than pro-life. They pretend to be passionate about the lives of the unborn as a political weapon, the argument goes, but they don’t really care about children once they’re born. But the data tells a different story.

  4. The Liturgy of Powers: Carl Trueman begins, “The trans revolution reached new heights of absurdity last week when the BBC asked Anneliese Dodds, the Labour party’s shadow secretary for women and equalities, to define “woman.” Dodds proved singularly incapable of doing so; after saying that “it does depend what the context is,” she equivocated for several minutes and refused to give a direct answer

Sex, Sexuality, and Your Identity in Christ

Sex, Sexuality, and Your Identity in Christ

A week and a half ago, my wife Angel and I had the opportunity to share with our Student Ministries about sex and sexuality.

Here is the outline of our talk:

  • Why is sex complicated?

  • What our sexuality has to do with trusting God.

  • What do we say to “Love is love”?

  • Why our identity is found in our sainthood, not our sexuality.

  • How our sexuality is for our joy and our discipleship.

  • Q&A

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why Religion is Good for Us: Mark Clark gives a great recap of some interesting data on why religion is a force for good in the world. For example, “In 247 studies done between 1944 and 2010: religion has a positive effect on society in regard to crime, deviance, and delinquency.”

  2. Long as the Curse is Found: An evocative piece from my friend Benjamin Vrbicek. He reflects on the new year and God’s grace, “A rain barrel, as it were, positioned by God’s grace, sits under my hands and captures more sacred moments than I realize. As a new year will be here in just a week, maybe I should be more excited about the prospect of catching new moments, a huge cupful of them. After all, a new year with new mercies awaits. How can that not be exciting?”

  3. Wisdom for Those Dating or Engaged to Someone Who Views Pornography: Jenny Solomon has a number of helpful things to say here. It starts here: “[Y]ou aren’t the solution to another person’s porn problem. He doesn’t look at porn because he wants/needs to have sex with you but can’t yet. He looks at porn because he lacks self-control. Your honeymoon won’t be a wand that waves over her porn issues and turns them magically into contented married sex.”

  4. 4 Predictions: Samuel James offers four predictions about Christians both conservative and liberal. He concludes, “The group that will be left in most local churches will be an ethnically mixed group.”

  5. Building Trust Through Forgiveness: Angel and I were grateful to be able to share some of our story with our friends at Romans 12 Ministries. I hope it encourages you.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. A Pillar of Salt: TM Suffield warns us of nostalgia during Christmas season, “Advent tells me that my idea of Christmas is manufactured nostalgia, a good portion of which is created by people who want to sell me things. They don’t want me to be satisfied, or to learn to wait, or to wrestle the darkness—they want me just the right sort of sad to buy more things.”

  2. The Middle Years: Melissa Edgington begins her reflection on mid-life, “These days I feel a little as if I’m grieving for a younger me. I look in the mirror, and I contend with the greying hair and the imperfections that come with age, always shocked to remember that my neckline sags in the way of grandmothers and old great aunts. I have come to middle age, and I must say that it’s a difficult stop on this journey of being a woman.”

  3. 7 in 10 Women Who Have Had an Abortion Identify as Christian: This is an eye-opening report that ought to remind us that we need to care not just for the unborn, but for those who have to navigate the tragic decision of abortion. We need to be vulnerable places of care and support. The findings state, “For half of those regular churchgoers (52%), they still haven’t told anyone at their church about their abortion. Less than 2 in 5 (38%) say someone at their church knows they had an abortion. Women likely haven’t told people at their church because most don’t see the church or the people there as safe and feel they will be judged, not loved.”

  4. Our Dog’s Annual Performance Review: Caroline O’Donoghue’s article had me cracking up. “You are a terrible employee. But you’re a very, very good girl.”

  5. Sexual Abuse, Sexual Brokenness, and the Gospel: Preston Sprinkle interviews Jay Stringer on his podcast “Theology in the Raw.” Stringer shares his findings in his book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. The book shares significant research that reveals the key drivers of unwanted sexual behavior: from pornography to infidelity.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Science Can’t Answer Transgenderism’s Deepest Questions: Shane Morris says, “The transgender movement has taken the primary question of this cultural debate completely out of the realm of science. By every identifiable physical trait, a person may be a member of one sex. But if, despite all of this, he identifies as the opposite sex, that is what he really is, according to the transgender movement.”

  2. Where Doctrine Meets the Desolate: Lara d’Entremont begins her powerful post, “I cried in my home office with only the moon providing streaks of light for me. My sobs distorted my words so much I’m sure only God could understand my prayers—pleas for relief, a sign, a moment of comfort, or his fatherly touch—anything to carry me just one more step forward.”

  3. Should We Pursue Self-Love? Randy Alcorn might overstate his case a bit here, but the core argument is solid. He begins, “I’ve often heard it said in evangelical messages, books, and articles that God’s Word teaches three kinds of love—love for God, love for others, and love for self.”

  4. Know Yourself and Speak: Pierce Hibbs begins with these sobering statistics, “According to a recent study, one in ten men struggles with anxiety or depression, but less than half of these seek help. Men die 3.5 times more often than women from suicide. They’re also twice as likely to binge drink. Perhaps most disturbing, another study found that 45% of men believe their mental health problems will resolve themselves, and so they admit to never talking to anyone else about their issues. In light of those truths.”

  5. Abortion Battled at the Supreme Court: Last week one of the most significant cases in our lifetime was argued before the Supreme Court. It’s worth listening to the entirety of the arguments that were made.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Dune is a Majestic Defense of Going to the Movies: Samuel James shares not only what makes Dune a great movie (I can attest it’s certainly that), but one that makes an argument for why the big screen can be better than the small screen. He says, “You only get films like Dune—ambitious, ponderous, beautiful films—when you have filmmakers who believe their audience can experience such a vision. And there is no such vision possible on a smartphone or laptop screen. Dune is an argument that cinemas are worth saving.”

2. Porn is Bad for You: Katherine Dee explains, “It’ll impact your taste; your openness to certain behaviors; the language you use to talk about sex; the lens you use to think about it. And for some people, like the kid who eats chocolate cake every day or the person who attends too many lavish parties, it might just start to bore you. You might desensitize yourself to sex all together.”

3. When the Beauty Never Leaves: A gorgeous piece of writing by AW Workman. It concludes by pointing us to God’s glory, “Steady on, my soul. One day the beauty will come – and it will never leave.”

4. How to Unite a Divided People: Carey Niewhof says, “The future doesn’t show any signs of uniting people automatically. In fact, left unattended, the divisions will likely only grow deeper and wider. One of the key tasks of leadership is to unite people around a common cause. That’s what leaders do.”

5. Best of the Beatles Cover in 6 Minutes: Another fun one from Walk off the Earth.

This Week’s Recommendations

This Week’s Recommendations
  1. Husbands, Be Like Adam: Usually we consider the ways Adam failed as a husband. But he did succeed in at least one way. Aaron Sironi explains that, “When we experience a dire situation, we are tempted to wallow in shame and to despair and turn against others. We must remember and believe God’s promises and his Good News, but not just for ourselves. We must turn in faith and love and speak with hopeful confidence to those around us.”

  2. I’m Not All That Awesome: Adam Ramsey explains, “The gospel means that I’m not all that awesome. But I am loved. And that’s awesome. The gospel frees me to be honest about the ways I fall short instead of being crushed by them, because it reminds me that Jesus was crushed for me.”

  3. I Do Ordinary Work: Dan Doriani explains that ordinary work is beautiful work. He concludes, “So let us lay down the deflating rhetoric of “I just” and affirm the value of ordinary work. Let us also look to change our corner of the world, even if our corner is modest and only a few notice what we do. If our Lord sees it, that should be enough.”

  4. Fear No Evil: My friend Anne Imboden reflects on fear that grabs our heart and how to navigate it. She says, “Fear comes in two forms: rational and irrational. When we’re young, irrational fears are common. Monsters under our bed, for example. I myself had a ridiculously irrational fear of swallowing pills. I was sure the pill, however small it was, would lodge itself in my throat and I would suffocate. I insisted on taking all medicines in liquid form until I was in high school.”

  5. How Do We Overcome Sexual Sin? Bob Kelleman points us to analyze our longings. He says, “Jesus knows all about all of us. As our Creator, He knows that our core issue is a worship issue. That’s why, with the Samaritan woman, He doesn’t focus on her “co-dependency” or even her “sexual addiction” per se. Jesus focuses on her core spiritual thirst.”

The Horocruxes of Sexual Sin

The Horocruxes of Sexual Sin

In the Harry Potter series, the villain Voldemort, longing for immortality, breaks his soul into seven pieces. He believes that if he can split his soul into seven objects, even if one part is destroyed, the other parts will live on. But the consequence of creating a Horocrux was unspeakable. A fractured soul is an un-whole self, broken beyond comprehension. In Albus Dumbledore’s words, Voldemort was a “maimed and diminished soul.”

Sexual sin offers a similar lie to us. Sexual temptation suggests that fidelity won’t satisfy. If one sexual partner is good, more partners will be better. Why not experience pleasure with multiple partners? Think of what you are missing out on. Consider what that one partner doesn’t give you. Or, if you’re not married, how do you know you ever will be married? What does it hurt to fast forward that pleasure to now?

The voice of sexual temptation has a thousand answers to our rebuffs. We need a louder, clearer voice of warning than the persistent whine of temptation. In Proverbs 7, Solomon warns his son against the dangerous tongue of sexual temptation,

This Week’s Recommendations

This Week’s Recommendations
  1. He Would’ve Come With Me: This is a beautiful story about how God can change hearts. He reflects, “It was, for me, one of the more miraculous heart changes I had ever seen. I remember thinking to myself, “If God can change this old man’s hatred toward Muslims, and replace it with love, well then maybe I’m not crazy for thinking God can change Muslims’ hearts as well.”

  2. Prioritize Your Church: Brent McCracken shares The Gospel Coalition’s heart that its readers would commit to the local church. He says as much as they want you to read their articles, they urge you theirs is something they want you to do far more. “But honestly, there’s an action we’d invite you to take that’s more vital to your spiritual health than almost anything you could click on (including here). What’s the action I’m talking about? Be committed to a church.”

  3. In the Beginning There Were No Canyons: I love this parable from Tim Challies with deep truths about our hearts and suffering. Here he describes the moment canyons were made, “So the Master spoke to the Skies and in an instant a great bolt of lightning leapt from the heavens to the earth, striking the Prairie with a heavy blow. The Prairie cried out in agony and for a long while mourned the gaping, jagged gash that had been left upon it—a deep, charred scar that contrasted sharply with the bright grasses and vivid flowers around. “Why, Master?” it sobbed in bewildered sorrow.”

  4. Jesus isn’t Scared of My Suffering: Bethany Barnard shares the story of her struggle with severe OCD and depression. Make sure you watch her music video as well. She concludes, “The hurdles of traumatic circumstances, doubt, and mental-health struggles no longer feel disqualifying to me as a Christian. They are an irreplaceable grace he gives to reveal his heart to us.”

  5. Magically Turning Into a Banana: This guy’s videos are fun.

This Week’s Recommendations

This Week’s Recommendations
  1. Rejection that Cuts Deep: Kath Thomas with a heartbreaking reflection on their son. She begins, “I have come to believe that rejection and separation from your child is one of the most painful experiences to carry. Seven months ago, my eldest son decided he could no longer have any connection with his family. That night we were in shock, we didn’t get to ask the questions we wished we had before he left, and even now, still don’t really know why he chose this path.”

  2. She is Broken, and She is Beautiful: I love this reflection on the church by Glenna Marshall. It begins with tragedy, “The phone rang before dawn that cold, January day. There’s never a good reason for calls so early; my heart pounded when I answered the phone. A dear church member was on the other end, her voice thick with tears and panic. Her husband died unexpectedly in the night. It was difficult to wrap my mind around this sudden news.”

  3. The Compromise of Sexual Ethics: Brent McCracken explores what has many Christians changing their ideology around sexual ethics. He begins, “Every week it seems new CCM stars, former Christian celebrities, or Christian college graduates announce “evolving” beliefs on Christianity—how their “deconstruction” journey is leading them to reconsider or abandon faith tenets they once believed.”

  4. How to Listen Well: This seems like such a simple thing, but it’s so important—especially in today’s world. Gem and Alan Fadling conclude, “The practice of listening can teach us to slow down inside, to focus our thoughts, to be humble and defer to others as they share. Listening can help us learn that we do not always have to be “on” or fix other people. The Lord Himself is working His own processes in each of our lives.”

  5. Meet Baby Olivia: A powerful 3-D graphic video of life developing in the womb.