Every nightmare starts as a dream: Erik Raymond warns us, “No one sets out to bring misery upon themselves. Quite the opposite. They are looking for fulfillment. They want happiness. They are chasing the dream. But remember, every nightmare starts as a dream.”
Pain needs interpreting: Simon Arscott, “My job is to help people interpret their pain. Pain itself – though very unpleasant – doesn’t tell us much. It hurts. It’s uncomfortable. It’s upsetting. We don’t want it. Often, we just want it to go away! But good spiritual care requires interpretation of our pain.”
Why Do I Have To Keep On Forgiving?
Why do I have to keep forgiving him?
I’ve heard it many times as a pastor. It’s said with weariness and hurt, or bitterness and anger, or confusion and longing. It can mean at least four things.
“It hurts too much to keep forgiving him for repeated sins.”
“Can’t I just overlook her sin against me?”
“He hurt me so deeply that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”
“Why am I still hurting over an offense when I said I forgave her?”
What does God’s Word have to say about each of these situations?
This Week's Recommendations
Help! My Employer Celebrates Gay Pride and Pays for Abortion Travel: Miranda Carls steps into a conversation that impacts many. She wisely treads lightly, “Christian decision-making doesn’t rest squarely on the shoulders of human understanding. It doesn’t fit into a neatly organized decision tree of binary questions.”
Harvesting Idols: Chris Thomas warns us, “Though I reason with myself that money is not the problem, but instead the love of it, the very presence of wealth is a danger to my soul.”
Why the Church? HB Charles shoots straight, “’Unchurched Christian’ is not a biblical category. Ask Paul, John, or Peter what they think about unchurched Christians and they would have responded, ‘Why are you calling them Christians, if they are not a part of the church?’”
Remember: Glenna Marshall reflects on a hard year, “I want to always remember. Pain teaches us to be thankful. Grief keeps us near the cross. Remembering recounts God’s faithfulness. While there are events people experience that cause levels of trauma that must be counseled and handled delicately, what I’m talking about are those significant sequences of suffering that the Lord draws us through that change us, sanctify us.”
Comedy Wildlife Awards: I always enjoy these. How about that squirrel or the big cat’s face plant into the tree?
It’s a Wonderful Telescope: A fun and beautiful connection between the classic Christmas movie and the James Webb telescope you probably didn’t know (I didn’t!).
This Week's Recommendations
Welcoming the World’s Oldest Babies: Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra shares a moving story of embryo adoption and the consequences of modern technology and fertility, “Nearly 30 years ago, Lydia Ann and Timothy Ronald were conceived in a fertility clinic. Hours later, they were frozen.”
Come Thou Long Expected Judgment: Jonathan Warren Pagan reminds us to look forward, not just backward this Advent season. Advent hope is preeminently about hope for the return of Jesus. Even now, in the Advent liturgies of the Anglican, Roman Catholic, and Orthodox churches, the prayers and Scripture readings have a laser-like focus on the judgment of Christ that is to come. This message doesn’t align with the affected excitement and coziness of secular Advent or Christmas.”
Social Anxiety and the God Who Held Mary: Lara d’Entremont always has great stuff. Here she shares about her social anxiety and Christmas. She shares, “God must have rows of my bottled tears by now—tears that I shed over my anxiety where I begged him to take it all away. Yet the anxiety remains. I don’t understand why, and in those moments of looking at my life and wondering why God’s hand has not lifted the anxiety from me, doubt has snaked around my heart. Where is God’s love? Why has he abandoned me?”
Christianity Today’s Playlist: Some nice gems here.
The Gospel Coalition 2022 Book Awards: Lots of good stuff here.
This Week's Recommendations
A Call to Raise Daughters Wise to Domestic Abuse: Excellent article by Jeremy Pierre. He begins, “’If your future husband ever lays a finger on you, you better tell me so I can kill him.’ This is the extent to which many dads address abuse with their daughters. It feels effective because it’s simple, protective, and tough. And it also feels kind of awesome to say.
Loving With a Limp: Chris Thomas writes, “Maybe, like Jacob, an encounter with God will leave you living life with a limp, serving with a limp, worshiping with a limp; loving with a limp.”
Cords Have Memory: Lauren Washer likens the memory of electrical cords with our inner lives. “Our inner lives have a similar type of cord memory. We inherit ideas, values, and belief systems from our families, faith backgrounds, and cultural surroundings. Many of these are good and right. But sometimes, the way we’ve always done things or thought about things, isn’t good.”
Bend Me Toward the Light: Glenna Marshall says, “When I find myself spending copious amounts of time pursuing distractions, my prayer has become one of crooked house plants and branchy, horizontal azaleas: “Lord, bend me toward the Light.” Distractions are just that—distractions. We aren’t meant to spend our time and mental margin on things that do not feed our souls. We’ll wither up and die without spiritual nourishment, especially if our flesh is yearning for what the world offers”
The Anatomy of an Apology: Justin Hale responds to this question, “I recently did something hurtful to a family member. Shortly afterward, I said I was sorry but the person didn’t seem to accept my apology. I’ve tried to reach out but they are giving me a bit of a “cold shoulder.” They still seem bugged about what I did. I feel like I’ve done my part and now it’s up to them to accept the apology. Should I be looking at this differently?”
This Week's Recommendations
A Church of Suspicious Minds: Trevin Wax’s post on the devastating impact on the seeds of suspicion is important. He says, “Once suspicion pervades a society, the slightest disagreements—even among people who generally share the same beliefs—get interpreted as signs of betrayal. Seeds of doubt are sown into every interaction, and often it’s the people closest to you who become the subject of your suspicions.”
Hope Has to Be Learned: I love this post from TM Suffield. He begins, “Hope is not an emotion, as though we summon it up and have a bright day looking at the future. We can certainly feel hopeful, but that is not the hope the Bible is talking about.”
7 Practical Ways to Counter the Wave of Deconstruction: There are a lot of wisdom in Carey Nieuwhof’s post on how leaders (and everyone else, I would add) can speak to those deconstructing their faith. For instance, “Be forewarned: Being more open to people’s doubts and questions may lead you into unfamiliar territory. And that’s okay. You may need to become more comfortable with saying, ‘I don’t know’ or ‘That’s a great question I’ve never considered.’ But never view humility or empathy as a weakness—it’s an undeniable strength.”
Shame is a Cruel Taskmaster: Brianna Lambert reflects on her relationship with her body. She says, “I realized the years of shame I inflicted hadn’t done anything but crush me. Shame may have felt like a good idea at the time to get my body in line, but its roots were too weak to sustain any real fruit in my life.”
Is ‘Woke Church’ a Stepping Stone to Theological Compromise: The second in The Gospel Coalition’s series of debates, both Sean DeMars and Rebecca McLaughlin make important points.
4 Questions to Ask When You Shop for a Church
After Angel and I were married, we moved to Phoenix, a town new to both of us. We began a several-month-long journey of finding a church that would be repeated again in two-and-a-half years when we moved to New Jersey. I have vivid memories of both church shopping experiences: of the sweet little Anglican church in Phoenix where we were the youngest in attendance by at least four decades and mobbed afterward by kindly congregants who begged us to stay for coffee and cookies; of the 1,000 square foot church on the Jersey shore where our friends and we doubled the size of the congregation and the accompaniment was played by means of a 1980s style boom box which the pastor turned around to push the button at the beginning and end of every song.
It wasn’t long ago that the idea of having more than one church in your lifetime would have been completely foreign. Virtually the entire world died where they were born and rarely left their hometown.[i] In contrast, the average US citizen today is expected to move 11.4 times in his or her lifetime.[ii] Even if you never leave a church for another reason, you will most likely look for a church roughly a dozen times in your life.
Shopping Well
No one likes to church shop.[iii] I certainly hope you don’t enjoy church shopping. Church shopping is a dangerous activity. By its very nature, it places the shopper in the position of being an observer and a critic and not a participant and member. The faster you can shift from critic to member, the healthier it will be for you spiritually and the healthier it will be for the body of Christ.
And yet, sometimes it is necessary. When you look for a church, here are four questions you should ask.
This Week’s Recommendations
He Would’ve Come With Me: This is a beautiful story about how God can change hearts. He reflects, “It was, for me, one of the more miraculous heart changes I had ever seen. I remember thinking to myself, “If God can change this old man’s hatred toward Muslims, and replace it with love, well then maybe I’m not crazy for thinking God can change Muslims’ hearts as well.”
Prioritize Your Church: Brent McCracken shares The Gospel Coalition’s heart that its readers would commit to the local church. He says as much as they want you to read their articles, they urge you theirs is something they want you to do far more. “But honestly, there’s an action we’d invite you to take that’s more vital to your spiritual health than almost anything you could click on (including here). What’s the action I’m talking about? Be committed to a church.”
In the Beginning There Were No Canyons: I love this parable from Tim Challies with deep truths about our hearts and suffering. Here he describes the moment canyons were made, “So the Master spoke to the Skies and in an instant a great bolt of lightning leapt from the heavens to the earth, striking the Prairie with a heavy blow. The Prairie cried out in agony and for a long while mourned the gaping, jagged gash that had been left upon it—a deep, charred scar that contrasted sharply with the bright grasses and vivid flowers around. “Why, Master?” it sobbed in bewildered sorrow.”
Jesus isn’t Scared of My Suffering: Bethany Barnard shares the story of her struggle with severe OCD and depression. Make sure you watch her music video as well. She concludes, “The hurdles of traumatic circumstances, doubt, and mental-health struggles no longer feel disqualifying to me as a Christian. They are an irreplaceable grace he gives to reveal his heart to us.”
Magically Turning Into a Banana: This guy’s videos are fun.
What I Read In 2018; What I’m Hoping to Read in 2019
I read 54 books in 2018: about one a week. I love learning and books are one of my favorite forms of learning. I tend to read five types of books: Christian Living, Theology, Leadership, General Non-Fiction, and Fiction. If you’re interested in tracking my reading, getting fuller reviews, and sharing with me your favorites, I use Goodreads and would be happy to have you friend me there. Here were some highlights for me in 2018:
4 Questions to Ask When You Church Shop
After Angel and I were married, we moved to a town new to both of us: Phoenix. Thus began a several month journey of finding a church that would be repeated again in two and a half years when we moved to New Jersey. I have vivid memories of both church shopping experiences: of the sweet little Anglican church in Phoenix where we were the youngest in attendance by at least four decades and mobbed afterwards by kindly congregants who begged us to stay for coffee and cookies; of the 1,000 square foot church on the Jersey shore where we and our friends doubled the size of the congregation and the accompaniment was played by means of a 1980s style boom box which the pastor turned around to push the button at the beginning and end of every song.
It wasn’t long ago that the idea of having more than one church in your lifetime would have been completely foreign. Virtually the entire world died where they were born and rarely left their hometown.[i] In contrast, the average US citizen today is expected to move 11.4 times in his or her lifetime.[ii] Even if you never leave a church for another reason, you will most likely look for a church ten times in your life.