Sexuality

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Five misconceptions about dechurching in America: Jim Davis and Michael Davis share that, “We’re currently living in the largest and fastest religious shift in U.S. history. Some 40 million adult Americans who used to go to church at least once per month now attend less than once per year. This shift is larger than the number of conversions during the First Great Awakening, Second Great Awakening, and the totality of the Billy Graham Crusades combined.”

  2. Immature defenses of ‘mature’ sexual content in moviesCap Stewart begins, “In a pornified culture like ours, it’s no wonder various scenes from mainstream films and television shows demonstrate a “porn aesthetic” (to borrow a phrase from academic Shelton Waldrep). We’re not just talking about raunchy comedies, erotic thrillers, or TV-MA (“mature audience”) HBO shows. Works of otherwise genuine artistry and quality storytelling can be tainted by the inclusion of a sex scene or two.”

How To Flee the Trap of Lust

How To Flee the Trap of Lust

Let’s be honest: the standard Jesus calls us when it comes to lust can feel profoundly unfair. It is God, after all, who created us as physical beings. It is God who created us as sexual beings. It is God who gave us desires. God gave us libido. And God gave us an imagination.

And in all this, God has created us in his image! God is the being with the most powerful desires in the universe! What kind of image-bearers would we be if we did not also have desires?

In recognizing that God created us as desiring beings, we acknowledge that God has called us to direct those desires to himself and his righteousness.  

Does Jesus tell us we “can’t get no satisfaction”? Our struggle against lust for something greater

Does Jesus tell us we “can’t get no satisfaction”? Our struggle against lust for something greater

According to one survey, more than 75% worldwide agree that adultery is wrong. The vast majority of us agree: adultery hurts marriages and children.

And yet, simultaneously, our culture encourages us to pursue our desires and fulfill our passions. There are cracks in that approach. The #metoo movement uncovered the devastating impact of some men living out this sexual philosophy.

Jesus pointed to the crack in this moral pavement two thousand years ago. He says that our sexual offense, our sexual sin, doesn’t begin with the action but with the heart:

How To Battle Lust

How To Battle Lust

Sexuality saturates our culture. The human heart, already an engine inclined toward malformed desires, has plenty of fuel available via the internet alone to propel it toward disaster. How can we remain pure in a world bent on dragging us into impurity?   

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Can Christians Date Nonbelievers? Marshall Seagal handles this question wisely, “Who you marry will likely shape who you become more than any other human relationship. If your husband runs from Jesus, you won’t be able to avoid the undertow of his lovelessness. If your wife runs from Jesus, you will live in the crossfire of her unrepentant sin. You may survive an unbelieving spouse, but only as through fire. Marriage under God would become a long and devastating war.”

  2. Sexual Liberation Has Failed Women: Andrew Wilson reviews Louise Perry’s intriguing new book, “Louise Perry has written a feminist critique of the sexual revolution, and it’s brave, excoriating, and magnificent. The Case Against the Sexual Revolution isn’t a Christian book. Perry’s critique is rooted in evolutionary biology, feminist passion, and empirical observation, not biblical interpretation or theology.”

  3. Big Boys do Cry, After All: Tim Shorey shares his heartache as he navigates the ravages of cancer, “Gayline and I have not known a single day of adult life without each other. But now, unless God spares me, she’ll likely know a couple decades of adult life without me; with me as but a memory. I won’t be there with her and for her. I won’t be holding her hand, kissing her goodnight, and saying, as I always do when she turns over to sleep—'Good night. I love you! I can’t wait to see you in the morning!’”

  4. God Wants You to be a Burden: This is a good reminder by Christine Gordon and Hope Blanton, “Burden bearing is a two-way street. The friend you hesitate to text with your bad news has the same call on her life that you do. Will you allow her the opportunity to obey or deny her the chance because you’ve decided she’s too busy?”

  5. The Most Repeated Verse in the Bible: Sam Allberry helps us square God’s wrath and love. He explains, “But while both God’s love and wrath are undeniable and necessary features of his dealings with us, they are not symmetrical. They do not spring from the same central part of God’s being with equal force. The two are not parallel components of God’s work.”

I Hope your Advent is In Tents

I Hope your Advent is In Tents

Our girl arrived home for Christmas last night. Everything feels better when we are all together. Camille headed off to college in Southern California this fall, and we have felt her absence. We missed her laugh, her hugs, and her quiet presence in the house, crafting on a quiet Sunday afternoon. But now she’s home! My heart swells to be able to squeeze her, to wake her up with a kiss on the forehead, to listen to her laugh at my dad jokes. Even in an era where we have technology like Facetime, there is nothing like being face-to-face. I feel joy to worship with her this Christmas Eve and look forward to having our family whole, enjoying cinnamon rolls and coffee in our pajamas on Christmas day, unwrapping one another’s gifts, and squeezing each other in thanks.

God concurs.

What I Read in 2022 (and perhaps some books you might want to read in 2023)

What I Read in 2022 (and perhaps some books you might want to read in 2023)

How much would you pay to meet your favorite celebrity? $100? $1,000?? $10,000??? The number isn’t insignificant, is it? Listening to the stories and wisdom from those we trust is worth quite a bit, isn’t it?

This year Angel and I worked hard to bring our first co-written book entitled Substitute Identities to publication. Right now it is in the hands of our publisher’s copy editor, and we can’t wait to share it with you. The process of pouring our hearts into this book makes me reflect on just what gifts books are. While we might be willing to pay exorbitant sums to sit at the feet of the world’s best thinkers, it only takes $10-$20 to listen to these spinners of tales. Isn’t that amazing?

So, however many books you read in 2022, maybe you might be blessed to read a few more in 2023, and perhaps some of my favorites might point you to a few gems.

In 2022 so far, I’ve read 110 books and hope to read a handful more before the year closes. I’ve been blessed to read a wide variety of good books this year. I’ll begin with my four favorite books of 2022, followed by the entire list of books I read. I hope you find some gems for you in this.

What Resources Can Help Me Make Sense of Sexual Confusion

What Resources Can Help Me Make Sense of Sexual Confusion

How does a Christian make sense of a world where our understanding of sexuality and gender has turned into quicksand underneath our feet?

Here are three (plus one) books I recommend to you to help you engage some of the hardest questions relating to sexuality and gender.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. How I Would Explain a Christian View of Trans-Genderism to a Non-Christian: Samuel James takes on this loaded topic. He says, “Our broken, sinful world facilitates the deepest kind of frustration and shame toward our own bodies.”

  2. An Open Letter to a Young Woman Contemplating an Abortion: Leah Savas’s article is a must-read. She says, “You’re not an accident, and neither is that baby inside of you. A Creator formed you and formed your baby with the same intentionality that your grandma has when she knits a pair of mittens.”

  3. Four Guidelines for Dating Without Regrets: Simple wisdom from Tim Challies. “Stop acting like you’re married when you’re not. We tend to see exclusive dating relationships as quasi-marriages in which couples quickly become strongly entangled emotionally, romantically, and even physically.”

  4. What Does “Heap Burning Coals On His Head” Mean? Interesting stuff from Steve Cornell. He considers five possible interpretations of this verse.

  5. Before You Pack Up and Leave: Tim Challies offers counsel to someone considering leaving a church. He asks, “[W]hat should you do when you begin feeling discontent at your church? What should you do when you feel that yearning to pick up and move on? What should you do when you find yourself eager to slip out of one church and into another? I’d like to offer just a few suggestions that I hope you’ll consider and put into practice.”

Beware the Lure of Sensuality

Beware the Lure of Sensuality

Perhaps the most uncomfortable thing about Christianity is not that God exists, and not that God sent his Son to the earth. It’s not the miracles: did God really make the universe out of nothing? Did Jesus really rise from the dead? It’s not even that its ethical stance on sexuality feels behind the times.

The most uncomfortable thing about Christianity is unequivocally our call to not just believe in, but to grant God authority in our lives and live faithfully and righteously.

In 2 Peter 2, Peter admonishes the church to beware of those who are false teachers and prophets. He says, “And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed.” It’s interesting that he uses the word sensuality here. He doesn’t say, “And many will follow their false beliefs,” he says, “And many will follow their sensuality.”[i]

The result, not the cause, of our sensual desires is believing in false teaching.

The hook of false beliefs is rarely the beliefs themselves. Atheism, frankly, isn’t a very attractive belief system on its own merits. By its very definition, life contains no meaning: the brutal and blind hand of the natural world is all that is. It raises more questions than it solve: from the question of creation to the problem of evil to ethics. The hook of atheism is sensuality. If there is no God, there is no one you have to cede authority of your life to.

It’s why agnosticism is much more popular than atheism[ii] You get the same freedom and don’t have to swallow nearly as bitter a pill.