Marriage isn’t easy. Anyone who has been married longer than a week surely agrees. The subtitle of Gary Thomas’s book Sacred Marriage asks, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” It is not that Thomas doesn’t believe marriage can be a source of joy, but that we ask too much if we ask marriage to bring us our “happily ever after.” Joy will likely trail holiness if we make that the main aim in marriage, but if we aim at happiness, we will miss both happiness and holiness.
Angel and I can testify to how fragile marriage is. In the summer of 2009, our marriage began unraveling after my first three years of pastoral ministry—years I neglected Angel for my mistress, the church.
For years I neglected Paul’s admonition,
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Eph. 5:25-27)
I convinced myself that my job was to love my bride and Christ’s bride equally. In doing so, I loved neither. They were both pawns in my idolatry of respect. Angel will testify that she battled her own idolatry and chose to reject God, reject me, and choose the arms of other men. By God’s grace, after three years, God rescued us and brought healing to our nearly-ruined marriage. God didn’t just rescue our marriage; he rescued us.
How is the health of your marriage today? Have you accepted a slow deterioration, a growing frigidity, a drift away from God and one another? You don’t have to throw in the towel or accept the status quo. Don’t cowardly hope that time will heal all wounds, or believe that you can mend things yourself as I did. Seek help from godly friends, your pastor, or a biblical counselor.
God can bring healing to your marriage and healing to your heart. Nothing is beyond the reach of his rescuing hand. As David rejoiced, “He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me” (Ps. 18:19).
Recently, Angel and I had the opportunity to share our story on the 700 Club.[i] I pray that it might encourage you or perhaps someone in your life who is struggling in their marriage. You can watch this interview by clicking the image below.
Our Rescue Story
You can read more about our rescue story here.
[i] The clip begins at the 20:15 mark and runs until 32:00, six minutes of which is our interview.
https://www.youtube.com/live/8syD0Tvrz1o?t=1215s
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