Christian Living

How to Forgive

How to Forgive

“How can I forgive them?” It’s a question spoken out of a yearning to release the one who has inflicted injury. It’s a question that is spoken out of hurt and sometimes anger.

How do we forgive the person who keeps sinning against us? How do we forgive the one who sins against us in a grievous way? How do we forgive the individual who sins against us and isn’t repentant?

Forgiveness is mandatory as a Christian. In his depiction of how we ought to pray, Jesus ties up with our forgiveness with the forgiveness we offer, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt 6:12).

Knowing that we will probably choke on that commandment, Jesus offers an explanation for the stakes of our forgiveness at the end of his prayer, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt 6:14-15). Goodness gracious. There it is, in black and white. We must forgive the one who has offended us.

Now, to be clear, this is no spiritual tit-for-tat. Jesus is not saying that God will withhold forgiveness from us until we grant it to others. Rather, what Jesus is saying is that the forgiveness we receive from him is demonstrated in our forgiveness of others. Those who have received forgiveness will forgive.

How to Make Your Spiritual Life Purposeful: Your Vocational Call, part 3

How to Make Your Spiritual Life Purposeful: Your Vocational Call, part 3

What gives you purpose in seasons that feel meaningless or directionless? God does.

When you think of godly leaders, King David is in rarified air. He is, after all, the famed slayer of Goliath, the one who was known as “the man after God’s own heart,” and the greatest king in Israel’s history. But, from a human perspective, the majority of his life seemed directionless and even wasted. And yet every step had an incredible purpose. There is no King David without his journey.

As a young man, Samuel anointed David’s head and “the Spirit of the Lord rushed upon David from that day forward.”[i] Within a few years David defeated Goliath and was promised to Saul’s daughter in marriage. Surely David must have thought that his ascension to the throne was near. If I were in David’s shoes I would have anticipated my reign to begin at any moment.

But as things so often are in God’s economy, our expectations are not God’s. It would be many years before David would sit on the throne.[ii] David would go from the rising star of Israel, whom the people sung about in the streets, to fleeing, to exile, wandering with his motley band across the hostile terrain of Palestine. Even after so many years had passed, he twice refused to take the life of the man who not only sought his life, but blocked his anointing.[iii]

What must have sustained David for these long years was not only the presence of God, but also God’s purpose for him. Even as he ran for his life, he speaks of his trust and his purpose, “But the king [referring to himself, who wasn’t yet king] shall rejoice in God.” So it is with the power of a purposeful spiritual life for us. When we know and understand the identity and purposes God has placed on our lives, it sustains us through tremendous difficulty, which is also God’s purpose.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Fewer Americans Identify as Christians: In less than 15 years, a significant shift has occurred, “In 2007, almost eight in 10 U.S. adults (78%) identified as a Christian, according to a new Pew Research study. Since then, the share of Americans identifying with Christianity has steadily fallen, declining to 63% in 2021.The decline of Christians in the U.S. has been matched by a rise in the religiously unaffiliated. Their number has almost doubled since 2007—from 16% to 29%.

  2. Unlock the Power of Family Habits: Justin Whimel Earley offers practical advice for how to form a healthy spiritual life as a family. He says, “Habits are the little things we do over and over without thinking about them. And the tiny and subconscious nature of habits makes them powerful. Why? Because they create our “normal.” Normal life is what stays with you from January through December. Normal life is what shapes your kids, your body, your schedule, and your heart. The habits of the household are the engine of a family’s spiritual formation.”

  3. Please Be Gentle: Al Gooderham begins, “Gentleness is underrated and undervalued in the world and in the church. We prize power and authority and charisma. We want leaders who sound like TED talk speakers and who can capture our attention and hold it, leaders who are magnetic and whom we want to follow, who will impress our friends and family. Leaders who could do any number of jobs well and be recognized as leaders in their field. We also want to be that. We want all that because we have a Corinthian complex.”

  4. The Value of a Secure Identity: Lee Hutchings explains the blessings of having your identity secured in Christ. He begins with this truth, “Our identity in Christ gives us new focus: Regardless of what is happening around us or even to us, as Christians we know that this present world is not our final home.”

  5. Peacock Spiders, Dance for Your Life: Wow! This is wild.

How to Apologize

How to Apologize

We live in an apology-averse culture.

We are allergic to repentance and equally allergic to forgiveness.

Think about it? When was the last time someone repented to you? I mean, truly repented?

The last time a congregant apologized to me, the email began this way (I’ve tweaked it only to protect the one who sent it), “I might have been a little harsh in my email.. I had a very bad week…” In further communication, the individual referenced their apology. Internally I scratched my head. “When did they apologize?” I dug back through the email thread and saw those phrases. That is what they were referencing.

“I might have…” followed by an excuse is no apology.

I don’t say that to attack the individual I am referencing. In fact, I completely understand why, in our culture, they would think that they had apologized.

In our culture, we learn to apologize with phrases that look like this:

· “Sorry.”

· “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

· “I know I shouldn’t have done that, but you shouldn’t have…”

· “I wouldn’t have done that if…”

· “That wasn’t my best.”

None of those are apologies.

By not learning how to apologize, we miss out on good’s purposes for our hearts and for the possibility of true reconciliation.

How to Make Your Spiritual Life Purposeful: What is Your Destination? Part 2

How to Make Your Spiritual Life Purposeful: What is Your Destination? Part 2

A few years ago my wife and I took a hike for my birthday. We enjoyed the beautiful Arizona morning, winding our way up into the foothills of the Catalina Mountains through the lush Sonoran desert. Creosotes, palo verdes, mesquite trees. barrel cacti, cholla, ocotillos, and saguaros sprang out of the mountainous terrain. We went on a well-traveled trail toward our destination: pools tucked into the Catalina foothills, 2.8 miles from the trailhead.

As inexperienced hikers who hadn’t hiked the trail in some 20 years, we overestimated our progress and asked multiple passersby how far away the pools were. It shouldn’t take this long to go 2.8 miles, right? Our legs grew heavy and my wife wondered if we had made a wrong turn. Maybe we should just turn around?

We finally crested a hill and below us lay the still, emerald pools. Our pace quickened with the pools in view and the final 15 minutes sped by. We relaxed on sun-bathed boulders, ate a snack, took some pictures, and then headed back. Knowing the terrain now and having a much better sense of how far the 2.8 mile destination was, there were no moments of confusion or frustration. The trail seemed to melt quickly behind us and we arrived back at the trailhead quickly.

Knowing your destination changes your journey.

This is a series about fixing a spiritual destination, and doing so changes our spiritual journey.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. She Wants to Meet the Man Who Killed Her Father: Police Officer Richard Houston was killed when he responded to a domestic disturbance. His 18-year-old daughter spoke profoundly at his funeral. Don’t just read this, make sure you watch the 90 second clip.

  2. Just Preach the Gospel? It’s Complicated: Provocative post by Trevin Wax. I appreciated his thoughts. He says, “At its best, “just preach the gospel” serves as a needed warning to stay tethered to the central message of Christianity. At its worst, it means “don’t touch my idol.”

  3. 12 Observations on Spiritual Authority: Samuel James in 12 compact observations considers spiritual authority, its abuse, and the response for those who have been impacted by it (and those who haven’t).

  4. He Gives His Beloved Sleep: Tim Challies begins, “Of all the divine thoughts recorded in the pages of sacred writ, of all the promises God provides to humanity, perhaps none is more moving, none more blessed, none more needful than this: He gives his beloved sleep.”

  5. Previously Unheard Fish Sounds from Restored Coral Reef: The sound of life is beautiful.

Is Your Church for the Church?

Is Your Church for the Church?

When I say the word “church” what do you think of? Most Americans probably think of a single building that they might attend or drive by on the way to work.

If you said “church” to a first-century Christian, they had a very different image pop into their minds. New Testament scholars agree that the way the early church conceived of itself was as a collective city-church. In other words, when Paul writes his letter to the church at Philippi, he writes it to all of the congregations that meet within the city of Philippi. The letter made the circuit through the city and was read by the leaders at various assemblies. In other words, there was such strong unity across local churches that they conceived of themselves as a collective church.

In fact, there appear to be certain leaders in the various cities who held authority over their local church as well as a number of congregations within their respective cities (Titus, Timothy, Peter, John, etc).

Now, this isn’t to diminish the serious challenges and conflict within these city churches. A cursory look at the letters makes it clear that these churches dealt with many of the same problems we still deal with today: sexual misconduct, greed, heresy, gossip, and conflict, to name a few. It’s instructive to see how these issues are dealt with in the context not just of a local church, but of the city-church.

The average church today is an island unto itself. If truth be told, most churches are for their church, not the church.

It’s understandable why any given local congregation would withdraw from a broader commitment to the church. There are a number of challenges to being committed to the church.

How to Make your Spiritual Life Purposeful, part I

How to Make your Spiritual Life Purposeful, part I

What plan do you have for your spiritual life? Where do you want to go spiritually? And how are you going to get there?

My hunch is that most of us don’t have a plan for our spiritual life. Most of us live hoping that we’ll drift into a better spiritual life. But that is a faulty assumption. Have you drifted into losing weight? Or becoming a better father? Or into your Master’s degree?

For some reason, we think that even though we make plans for improvement and we set goals in other areas, it's not necessary or spiritual for us to set out these kinds of plans for our spiritual walk.

Jesus himself lived an incredibly purposeful life. If you pick up the gospel of John, you see that Jesus is very sensitive to discerning and following God’s purpose for his life. His purpose was not about self-fulfillment but self-giving at the cross. In John 17:1, Jesus prays, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you.”

How do we live a spiritual life with such purpose and awareness?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why Religion is Good for Us: Mark Clark gives a great recap of some interesting data on why religion is a force for good in the world. For example, “In 247 studies done between 1944 and 2010: religion has a positive effect on society in regard to crime, deviance, and delinquency.”

  2. Long as the Curse is Found: An evocative piece from my friend Benjamin Vrbicek. He reflects on the new year and God’s grace, “A rain barrel, as it were, positioned by God’s grace, sits under my hands and captures more sacred moments than I realize. As a new year will be here in just a week, maybe I should be more excited about the prospect of catching new moments, a huge cupful of them. After all, a new year with new mercies awaits. How can that not be exciting?”

  3. Wisdom for Those Dating or Engaged to Someone Who Views Pornography: Jenny Solomon has a number of helpful things to say here. It starts here: “[Y]ou aren’t the solution to another person’s porn problem. He doesn’t look at porn because he wants/needs to have sex with you but can’t yet. He looks at porn because he lacks self-control. Your honeymoon won’t be a wand that waves over her porn issues and turns them magically into contented married sex.”

  4. 4 Predictions: Samuel James offers four predictions about Christians both conservative and liberal. He concludes, “The group that will be left in most local churches will be an ethnically mixed group.”

  5. Building Trust Through Forgiveness: Angel and I were grateful to be able to share some of our story with our friends at Romans 12 Ministries. I hope it encourages you.

What I Read in 2021 (and Maybe What You Should Read in 2022)

What I Read in 2021 (and Maybe What You Should Read in 2022)

I’ve been able to hit the 100-plateau of books the past few years. This year I read 111 books (the symmetry of that number made me smile). If you wonder how I read that much, this post might help spur you on and provide some practical pointers in your reading journey in 2022. I love reading for many reasons. It’s a gift to be in conversation with a multitude of wise voices, to be invited into the imaginative worlds of some of the best minds of our time, and to grow in empathy and understanding as I step into the shoes of those very different from myself.

I love the gift of reading books with friends. Most of the books I read are recommended by friends and I love it when friends read a book I recommend. If you read any of the books recommended below, I would love to hear what you think. And I would love to hear what your favorite books of 2021 were. If you want fuller reviews on any of the books listed above or just want to connect on an ongoing basis about reading, I encourage you to friend me on Goodreads.

Let me start with my three favorite books of 2021, and then we will get to the rest of the action: