Gratitude

How Hard is Your Heart?

How Hard is Your Heart?

You can tell a good piece of fruit or vegetable by its color and by its feel. The avocado might be the trickiest one I know. A novice might think that a bright green, hard avocado is the best, but counter-intuitively, the best avocados are dark, with shades of brown, giving easily to the touch. The heart of a growing Christian also gives easily to the touch.

No one comes to see a counselor or pastor to talk about their problems not wanting success, but the state of our hearts so often resists the very thing we want. A soft heart can turn my mediocre counsel into pearls of wisdom. A hard heart will turn the wisest counsel ever offered into sawdust.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. An Open Letter to Those Nearing Retirement: John Dunlap’s letter is simple and rich. “For years I have given my retiring patients two simple rules for retiring well: Wake up every morning knowing what you are going to do that day. Go to bed every night knowing that someone else was helped.”

  2. The Man in the Mirror: My friend Dustin DeJong’s post on shame is excellent. He says, “When I force my eyes to meet their reflection, it’s not my eyes I see. It’s my shame: what I’ve done and who I’ve become. It’s what these eyes have seen, these ears have heard, these hands have done. There are decades of regret behind those eyes. It’s the feeling of 20+ years of sexual struggles.”

  3. Wounds in Beauty Glorified: Mitch Chase responds to the question: “Why did Jesus’ resurrected body bear wounds of his crucifixion?” His third reason is, “Third, the visible marks on Jesus’s risen body were not evidence of failure but were a display of victory.”

  4. Harry Emerson Fosdick and the Spirit of American Liberalism: You likely don’t know Fosdick’s name, but Kevin DeYoung shares why it is worth knowing. A drift to spiritualism and liberalism is nothing new. Fosdick preached, “’God keep us,’ he exhorted in the last line of his sermon, ‘intellectually hospitable, open-minded, liberty-loving, fair, tolerant, not with the tolerance of indifference as though we did not care about the faith, but because always our major emphasis is upon the weightier matters of the law.’”

  5. Grief is Not the Enemy: Travis writes, “Like love or joy or hope, grief is not less than an emotion, but it is also much more. And certainly, love and joy are tightly connected with grief. We cannot truly grieve something or someone unless we love them first and take joy in them. It would be natural to think of grief as the opposite of joy, or the absence of love, but that’s not quite right.”

  6. Fantastic Fireflies: Fantastic indeed!

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why Are So Many Kids Rejecting Christianity? Look at Their Parents: Pamela Danzinger considers on what startling new survey data tells us, “The Cultural Research Center (CRC) is out with a new study comparing the number of American parents of children under age 13 who hold a biblical Christian worldview with those who adhere to competing secular alternatives. The results are a damning indictment of Americans’ rejection of or simple indifference to a biblical worldview. Across all parents of pre-teens, only 2 percent hold a biblical worldview, which is defined as “consistently interpreting and responding to life situations based on biblical principles and teachings.” Those with a biblical worldview believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God containing all moral truths.”

  2. Why ‘Consent’ Isn’t Enough for a Sexual Ethic: I think Trevin Wax’s observation here is important. He begins, “Perusing various magazines and news sites in recent months, I’ve noticed a growing number of commentators who recommend we reexamine our society’s norms surrounding sexuality. Casual sexual encounters bring more misery than happiness, they say, and “consent” isn’t a high enough standard to bring about sexual fulfillment and freedom.”

  3. 40 Random Pieces of Advice for the Christian Life: Tim Challies loads tons of wisdom in this post. I love this one, “Open your home to other people often. Help foster a culture of hospitality within your local church by being the one who invites people over on a regular basis. The living room is one of the best contexts in the world for friendship, discipleship, and evangelism.”

  4. Zombie Sins: My friend Chris Thomas consider zombie movies and sin, “Zombie sins thrive in darkness, like the Orcs of Mordor they gather in the gloom beyond the Black Gates. To fight them in the dark watches of the night, alone against the throng, our hopes fade. But we look to the East.”

  5. Well, THAT was Magic! Seth Lewis shares the story of his three-year-old son’s amazement at the automatic doors. In response he asks, “Somewhere along the way, we seem to have picked up the idea that once we can explain how something works, the magic and wonder disappear. But why should that be?”

Church, Thank you for your Generosity

 Church, Thank you for your Generosity

It was a Friday a few months back. Angel and I wound down a long day of ministry and climbed into our respective cars. We got on our phones to debrief the day and make plans. Our kids were out for the night and our connection group started in an hour and a half. “Want to meet up at Harvest for a meal, so we don’t have to throw something together for dinner?” I asked. “Yes!” she said. We embraced in the parking lot, strolled to the restaurant, and sat down to spend some time together before our connection group.

We caught the eye of a dear couple from our church at the restaurant and waved. They were with another couple, but came over and gave us hugs after we had ordered. “We don’t want to intrude, but we wanted to come over to ask if you would let us pay for your meal. Would you let us have the blessing of blessing you?” I’ve never been asked that question! We were amazed. What a kindness. What a mercy. “Yes, and thank you so much,” we replied.

This Christmas Week's Recs

This Christmas Week's Recs
  1. My Christmas Gift Bought With a Child’s Heart: Sylvia Shroeder has a beautiful post. Of the wise men she says, “What greater treasure could they bestow than to fall down at the feet of the divine Christ and worship? The true gifts of the magi didn’t come because of the place they acquired them or the amount they spent. The glint of gold or fragrant scented air could never have equaled the response of their hearts. In an obscure village, to a child lacking world’s fame or prestige, they fell down and worshipped.”

  2. When the Soul Feels Its Worth: Andrea Sanborn reflects, “Jesus was born to a simple girl, lived in humility and sacrificed Himself to find me at my kitchen sink; to find you where you are, meeting us in our obscurity and our wondering.”

  3. 5 Major Concerns About the State of the Bible in the US: Eric Geiger concludes this list with this discouraging fact, “According to the research, only 9% of youth in Gen-Z are engaged with the Scripture. And the youth in Gen-Z are significantly less engaged with the Scripture than Millennials.”

  4. Vaccines, Mandates, and Disagreements: Justin Hale responds to this question, “I have a close friend who recently told me their views on vaccines, mandates, and masks, and now I see them differently. They were vocal and opinionated. I would be lying if I said it hasn’t affected our interactions. I really like my friend, but I feel they aren’t being reasonable or rational on this topic. And every time I think about talking with them, I get annoyed and irritated. What can I do?”

  5. The Spiritual Choir: 4 Carols 4 Christmas: You’ll love this.

The Not-So-Insignificant Danger of Ingratitude

The Not-So-Insignificant Danger of Ingratitude

There is a deadly gas that contaminates the air we breathe. The toxic gas appears unthreatening because everyone appears to breathe it in and breathe it out as harmlessly as oxygen.

The poison is ingratitude. And it is everywhere.

Everything (that I don’t have) is Awesome

Psychologists agree that social media has made us less happy. Why is that? Because the constant access into others’ lives taps into our propensity toward ingratitude. We are surrounded by neighbors with nicer cars, friends who take better and longer vacations, couples who are happier, and everyone seems to be fitter and better dressed than we are. And it’s all there for us to see tucked into that powerful, shiny rectangle in our pockets. Every minute of every day.

“Hamilton” came to Tucson this week and I watched as my Facebook feed was filled with pictures of those who gushed over the show. We were blessed to attend and so my heart was guarded against jealousy. But where will my heart be in the spring when I am unable to attend a show I was really hoping to go to because I have a scheduling conflict?

The Ancient Beginnings of Ingratitude.

The story of how it all fell apart is a story you’ve heard. God’s perfectly ordered creation and Adam and Eve’s response of gratitude lasts all of two chapters. God creates man and woman. He invites them to live alongside himself in perfect peace. He names them as king and queen over this paradise and grants them great latitude in their reign.

He creates a tree in the garden, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and he says “Everything is yours for taking and enjoying except this one. This one you need to stay away from.”[i] Will they be content with the 99.9% of what they were given, orwill they be discontent with the .1% they weren’t given? Will ingratitude set it? That .1% was the sliver Satan slid through.

The Danger of Nostalgia

The Danger of Nostalgia

What’s your favorite family memory? What is your favorite memory of church? Your favorite holiday memory? Recollecting can bring warm feelings toward people and fond memories of places. Nostalgia can stoke gratitude. It appears that God rejoices in godly nostalgia. Take a look at Psalm 78 or Psalm 105 where God takes his people on a tour of their past and we see his faithfulness on display.

Last week we celebrated my son’s 16th birthday. My wife sent a dozen pictures of Soren through the years in our family text strand. My eyes filled with tears and my heart almost burst as I reflected on each of the moments in his life Angel had captured through her photos. My son is such a gift to us: his tender heart, his sense of humor, his perceptiveness. It is a gift to go back and re-live sweet and joy-filled moments that we have shared.

And yet. There is danger in nostalgia.

The Perfect Isn’t Behind Us

Nostalgia can make it seem as though the perfect lies behind us. When we reminisce, there can be a halo effect over times and places in our past that distorts reality. We remember a vacation fondly, thinking that our family was delighted in that season of our lives, only to forget the squabbles on vacation, or the Monopoly game that ended in tears. We recollect a sweet season in a church we used to go to, but forget that the church was pretty insider-focused and had a poor evangelistic outreach. We think fondly of a time when we worked for a company that was making a big difference in its industry, but omit from our memory the overly critical boss.

Thanksgiving Recommendations

Thanksgiving Recommendations

1. What’s God’s Will For You in 2020? Eric Geiger suggests the answer is connected to today’s holiday.

2. How Do I ‘Count It All Joy’: I smiled when I saw Joel Smit’s article, which is similar (but deeper) than the reflection I offered this week on the same passage. He shares, “These seemingly cold words of James are actually filled with warm gospel truth and hope as they point the troubled soul to the root from which the true healing balm comes.”

3. Surviving the Holidays: Kerry Patterson shares the story of the Thanksgiving he was a moron and what he’s learned from that lousy holiday where he just had to be right: “Here’s my plan. I’m going to start every discussion by asking what I really want. Does everyone really have to believe what I believe? Do I really have to win each and every point?”

4. Blessed Are the Unoffendable: Abigail Dodds shares a message so contradictory to our flesh and to the culture. She shares the danger of taking offense easily, “Offended people can become unassailable. Recalcitrant. Too hard-hearted to hear an appeal. When we are offended, we believe ourselves to have the moral high ground; therefore, we feel justified in making the one who has offended us a villain.”

5. Don’t Adopt That One: Emma Scrivner with a powerful reflection on adoption.

Thankful in 2020?

Thankful in 2020?

Who will be joining you at your Thanksgiving table this year? If you are like most people, it will be a much smaller gathering than you are accustomed to. There will be some measure of grief as you pull fewer chairs up to the table and slice into that smaller turkey.

There are lots of reasons to be discouraged in 2020. Businesses closed, some had paychecks replaced with unemployment checks, most have had a friend or family member battle COVID-19, and some have lost loved ones this year. Churches haven’t been able to gather together in person for worship for chunks of the year, and division over masks and politics has threatened the church’s unity.

May I invite James to one of the open seats at your Thanksgiving table? Let me warn you, though, James is the uncle who shoots straight. You might not like what he has to say. But you know he always speaks out of love.

Sitting with icy beverages in hand, complaints start dripping like the oil off the bird in the oven. Your dad grouses about politics, your grandfather expresses concern over financial instability, your sister goes off on anti-maskers, you voice your irritation with your boss, and your mom shares her annoyance about decisions at your church. James listens, sips his cranberry punch, and then quietly interjects, “Count it all joy, my [family], when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2).

Sheesh, Uncle Jimmy, can’t you show a little sympathy to a family struggling through a challenging year?

Thanksgiving Recommendations

Thanksgiving Recommendations

1.       7 Ideas to Make Thanks Last Longer Than Thanksgiving: This is a nice family-friendly list of ideas. I particularly like “inspire awe of God,” with the reminder that, “The more intimately we know someone, the more grateful we tend to be when we receive gifts from them. “

2.       Gratefulness and God’s Sovereign Goodness: Eric Alexander reminds us, “For the Christian, ingratitude is not just a failure in manners. It is a sin against the God who did not spare even His own Son but delivered Him up for us all.”

3.       Worthy? This is a simple but beautiful reflection by Mike Emlet. He concludes, “Are you worthy? No. But Jesus doesn’t require fitness from you. You only have to feel your need of him. You only have to see that his worthiness is sufficient for you. And this means that no matter your need, you can come to him boldly today.”

4.       Holding a Grudge Can Make You Sick: Ashley Abramson approaches the issue of unforgiveness from a scientific perspective. Abramson explains, “Many of the positive outcomes are psychological — forgiveness is a form of emotional regulation, since forgiving someone is an alternative to negative thought processes like ruminating on offenses or holding in negative feelings, both of which can lead to chronic stress.”

5.       The Quiet Liturgy of Fred Rogers: I’ve been looking forward to watching “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” and this only piques my interest more. Ryan Pemberton concludes, “Fred Rogers’s life represents a liturgical invitation to embody the story of one who was a neighbor when a neighbor was needed—that others might receive the invitation to be a neighbor. It’s an invitation we refuse at risk of our own destruction.”