shame

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Outrage is not a fruit of the SpiritRandy Alcorn with a timely reminder, “Outrage appears to now be a core value of some Christians. Righteous indignation is sometimes appropriate, e.g. when it involves the killing of children, or false doctrine promoted at the expense of the gospel. But when outrage/anger becomes our default, we lose all credibility and, in my opinion, become poor ambassadors for Christ.”

  2. Your holy deeds are not filthy ragsJohn Piper clarifies an oft-misunderstood verse. He says, “God does not despise the righteous deeds of his children done by faith. What verse 6 is referring to in calling righteous deeds “filthy rags” is the hypocritical works that flow from nothing.”

Why Did They Ghost Me?

Why Did They Ghost Me?

I love gardening. I love helping bring something to life, nurturing it, and watching it flourish.

I am not particularly great at gardening, though. Any improvement I’ve had has come through the school of hard knocks: a plant I put in the wrong soil, a plant placed in the incorrect amount of sunlight, or not giving a plant the right amount of water (my default is always that more must be better—it isn’t).

Relationships are like plants, aren’t they? They are fragile. They are challenging.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Sin won’t comfort youMarshall Segal explains how Satan temps the hurting, “Satan knows how prone we can be to turn to sin in our suffering — and he preys on that weakness.”

  2. Get your son out of his bedroomBrett and Kate McKay explain, “American men are doing a third less face-to-face socializing than they did twenty years ago. The drop amongst American teenagers is even more staggering: the amount of in-person socializing teens engage in has fallen by almost half since 2003.

Exchanging Intrusive Thoughts for God-talk

Exchanging Intrusive Thoughts for God-talk

Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome and hard to control. I can remember having intrusive thoughts from the time I was a child. When we drove, I often felt the compulsion to press one foot down on the floor between the telephone poles (and yes, I also hopped over the cracks in the sidewalk). At other times, when walking alone, I remember the persistent thought, “He’s watching you.” I would search the bushes and trees for the one my mind told me was watching me.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Six categories of the crossJI Packer begins, “Jesus Christ is, in fact, an expression of the temper of the whole New Testament. For explaining the cross, the New Testament uses many images, many categories, many modes of thought blended together. These various categories and modes of thought serve to enrich our understanding of the cross and its meaning.”

  2. A game of hide-and-seek: how shame keeps us from the Father’s love: Bethany Broderick shares a moment with her daughter, “The angry speech I was ready to give her melts away, and I drop to the ground next to her. I pull her close, and she cries against me. She is broken over her sin, yet she doesn’t know what to do other than try to hide.”

Your Secrets Keep You Sick

Your Secrets Keep You Sick

We were stuck. “I’m done with the marriage,” she said. Years of subtle neglect had shut her down. She would remain married, but there would be no marriage. He was desperate. He heard his wife’s hurt and confessed his neglect. He was willing to change. In our sessions thereafter, he appeared earnest and his actions seemed to prove his sincerity. But she didn’t trust him and wouldn’t let down her guard.

Deep down, I felt something was amiss, but I didn’t know what it was. Several times she assured us that there was no other man involved.

The Light and You

The Light and You

I was born in Fairbanks, Alaska. During the dead of winter, there are several weeks when the sun skims the horizon for a mere four hours a day. If you move north to the Arctic Circle, there are days without sunlight.

Can you imagine a world without light? A world where you can’t see your hand in front of your face?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. New Study Changes Understanding of Depression: Three counselors I respect make sense of an important new study about serotonin and depression. They share, “Most people believe depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, but this assumption has been challenged by a recent medical study titled “The Serotonin Theory of Depression.” The project, led by Dr. Joanna Moncrieff of the University College of London, was an umbrella review, a survey of the major psychiatric research on the link between depression and serotonin, the neurotransmitter psychiatrists have long cited as the most likely chemical cause of depression. After reexamining and collecting much of the relevant and reliable research, the study concluded there is ‘no convincing evidence that depression is caused by serotonin abnormalities.’”

  2. Give Him Your Acorns: I’m sure you’ll love this beautiful story that Brianna Lambert shares about her son. “Instead of squeezing harder, my son knew where the safest place was for his acorns—in someone else’s hand. He was sure the hands of his bigger, stronger, wiser mother were more capable of keeping his treasures safer than his own. His complete confidence in my protection was humbling, and it’s an attitude Jesus invites all of his followers to share.”

  3. Driven By Awe: Fighting Sin: James Williams considers that perfect slice of chocolate cake, “There was a war going on in my heart. Two competing desires battling within me. Do I ditch the diet and enjoy the cake? Or, do I resist its calls and carry on toward my goals?”

  4. Shame Off You: Rich Villados encourages us, “In a broken world, trauma—and the attending shame—will continue to be with us. But, by the grace of God, it doesn’t have to consume us. It can be redeemed. For all its strangeness, that is the good news of the gospel.”

  5. Wildlife Photographer of the Year: Bees make a couple of appearances in this stunning collection. I think my favorite might be the photo of the sea lion.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Money is Not the Problem: Paul Tripp with some important but hard truth about our relationship with money, "Money sanity does not begin with a budget but with humble, honest, and heart-level confession that is without excuse or shifting the blame. Where, when it comes to your money, is God calling you to honest confession of heart and hands?"

2. Pastors Identify What Idols Their Congregations Struggle With: Marissa Postell shares recent research in which "[M]ore than half of U.S. Protestant pastors believe comfort (67%), control or security (56%), money (55%) and approval (51%) are idols that have significant influence on their congregations." Parenthetically, perhaps most alarming to me was that the numbers were as low as they were… and that 14% of pastors said their congregations don't struggle with any (!) of these idols.

3. Five Questions I Wish My Accountability Partner Would Ask Me: This is surprisingly good, and I encourage you to incorporate it with your close friends. Brad Hambrick begins by explaining that he doesn't like the term "accountability partner." He says, "Can I contradict the title of this post in the first sentence? I don't like the word "accountability partner" any more than I like the word "diet," and I dislike them both for the same reason. They sound like an exception and a punishment rather than a lifestyle and a gift."

4. Ashamed Sinner, Unashamed Savior: Erik Raymond encourages us, "When you're in the midst of guilt and shame—which we should rightly feel in the midst of sin—we have to take all that he has done and his promises to God and see that he's actually not ashamed of us. It's not that he excuses sin, but he welcomes sinners."

5. Terrestrials: The Mastermind: This NPR podcast examining the intelligence of octopi is aimed at kids, but I had so much fun listening to it, and I bet you will also.

Wickedness and Unhealed Trauma

Wickedness and Unhealed Trauma

Trauma is everywhere. One in four women and one in six men will be sexually abused. At least one in seven children have experienced abuse or neglect in the past year. More than one in four abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

Psychological research continues to demonstrate the tentacle-like nature of the impact of trauma. Effects include dissociation, panic attacks, hyperarousal, loss of sleep, low self-esteem, grief, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and substance abuse.