Suffering

The Gospel of Self-Forgiveness

The Gospel of Self-Forgiveness

She sits in my office, tears running down her face. Two years ago her mother died in hospice while she lay asleep at home. She was trying to get a decent night’s rest after days spent at her mother’s side. “I just can’t forgive myself. I let her die alone. I knew I should have been there, but I was selfish. I can never forgive myself for that.”

I’ve heard dozens share similar confessions with me. Does this resonate with you? What guilt do you bear? What burdens are you carrying because you can’t forgive yourself?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Don’t Let the Culture War Steal Your Joy: Trevin Wax reflects, “The worrisome quality I find in much of today’s cultural commentary is the absence of joy. It’s as if our souls have shriveled until all that remains is a sense of hopelessness, a quiet resignation that assumes the church cannot thrive in this strange new world.”

  2. Holiness is Transgressive: Brett McCracken’s post sizzles. I love this, “’Transgression’ in contemporary pop culture has become ubiquitous to the point of banality…it’s all so pervasive by now that it’s tiresome, as “transgressive” as the khaki section of Old Navy.”

  3. Church Attendance Drops Among Young, Liberals, and Singles: Christianity Today reports, “Before the pandemic, 75 percent of Americans reported attending religious services at least monthly. By spring 2022, that figure dropped to 68 percent attending at least monthly.”

  4. I Want Him Back (But Not the Old Me Back): Tim Challies on sanctification and the death of his son, “I want Nick back. But I don’t want my old self back. I so badly wish that my son could be part of my life again. But I would so badly hate to lose all the precious ways in which God has been real to me and true to me and present with me in my sorrows.”

  5. Travel Photographer of the Year: If you enjoy photography, make sure you scroll through all of these. The elephant and the lion looking through the buffalo pics are particularly stunning.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Nietzsche was Right: In a similar vein as my post on Tuesday, Tim Keller reviews Tom Holland’s (not the actor) book on how Christianity revolution changed the world. Keller concludes, “In no way does [Holland] let the church off the hook for its innumerable failures. Nor will he let secular people live with the illusion that their values are just self-evident, the result of reason and scientific investigation.”

  2. What Has Been Most Helpful in Your Marriage? Ed Welch answers this question with wisdom.

  3. Beware of Pride: A Cautionary Tale: Lee Hutchings tells the story of how pride led William Henry Harrison to have the shortest tenure of any US President. He explains, “Such a tragic and ironic ending to an otherwise tenacious life is compounded by the fact that Harrison died, in all likelihood, of his own vanity and pride.”

  4. Love is a Skill: Seth Lewis comments, “It’s interesting that Jesus never mentioned how the Good Samaritan felt about the man on the road. He only tells us what he did for him. Evidently, Jesus does not consider love to be primarily about how we feel, but more importantly about what we do.”

  5. Can Cancer be God’s Servant? Randy Alcorn considers hard truths in the face of his wife’s recent death. “When our ministry posted Nanci’s words, “My cancer is God’s servant,” someone responded, “WHAT? God does NOT give people cancer. Jesus bore our sicknesses and carried our pains on the cross.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Can Christians Date Nonbelievers? Marshall Seagal handles this question wisely, “Who you marry will likely shape who you become more than any other human relationship. If your husband runs from Jesus, you won’t be able to avoid the undertow of his lovelessness. If your wife runs from Jesus, you will live in the crossfire of her unrepentant sin. You may survive an unbelieving spouse, but only as through fire. Marriage under God would become a long and devastating war.”

  2. Sexual Liberation Has Failed Women: Andrew Wilson reviews Louise Perry’s intriguing new book, “Louise Perry has written a feminist critique of the sexual revolution, and it’s brave, excoriating, and magnificent. The Case Against the Sexual Revolution isn’t a Christian book. Perry’s critique is rooted in evolutionary biology, feminist passion, and empirical observation, not biblical interpretation or theology.”

  3. Big Boys do Cry, After All: Tim Shorey shares his heartache as he navigates the ravages of cancer, “Gayline and I have not known a single day of adult life without each other. But now, unless God spares me, she’ll likely know a couple decades of adult life without me; with me as but a memory. I won’t be there with her and for her. I won’t be holding her hand, kissing her goodnight, and saying, as I always do when she turns over to sleep—'Good night. I love you! I can’t wait to see you in the morning!’”

  4. God Wants You to be a Burden: This is a good reminder by Christine Gordon and Hope Blanton, “Burden bearing is a two-way street. The friend you hesitate to text with your bad news has the same call on her life that you do. Will you allow her the opportunity to obey or deny her the chance because you’ve decided she’s too busy?”

  5. The Most Repeated Verse in the Bible: Sam Allberry helps us square God’s wrath and love. He explains, “But while both God’s love and wrath are undeniable and necessary features of his dealings with us, they are not symmetrical. They do not spring from the same central part of God’s being with equal force. The two are not parallel components of God’s work.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Help! My Employer Celebrates Gay Pride and Pays for Abortion Travel: Miranda Carls steps into a conversation that impacts many. She wisely treads lightly, “Christian decision-making doesn’t rest squarely on the shoulders of human understanding. It doesn’t fit into a neatly organized decision tree of binary questions.”

  2. Harvesting Idols: Chris Thomas warns us, “Though I reason with myself that money is not the problem, but instead the love of it, the very presence of wealth is a danger to my soul.”

  3. Why the Church? HB Charles shoots straight, “’Unchurched Christian’ is not a biblical category. Ask Paul, John, or Peter what they think about unchurched Christians and they would have responded, ‘Why are you calling them Christians, if they are not a part of the church?’”

  4. Remember: Glenna Marshall reflects on a hard year, “I want to always remember. Pain teaches us to be thankful. Grief keeps us near the cross. Remembering recounts God’s faithfulness. While there are events people experience that cause levels of trauma that must be counseled and handled delicately, what I’m talking about are those significant sequences of suffering that the Lord draws us through that change us, sanctify us.”

  5. Comedy Wildlife Awards: I always enjoy these. How about that squirrel or the big cat’s face plant into the tree?

  6. It’s a Wonderful Telescope: A fun and beautiful connection between the classic Christmas movie and the James Webb telescope you probably didn’t know (I didn’t!).

I Hope your Advent is In Tents

I Hope your Advent is In Tents

Our girl arrived home for Christmas last night. Everything feels better when we are all together. Camille headed off to college in Southern California this fall, and we have felt her absence. We missed her laugh, her hugs, and her quiet presence in the house, crafting on a quiet Sunday afternoon. But now she’s home! My heart swells to be able to squeeze her, to wake her up with a kiss on the forehead, to listen to her laugh at my dad jokes. Even in an era where we have technology like Facetime, there is nothing like being face-to-face. I feel joy to worship with her this Christmas Eve and look forward to having our family whole, enjoying cinnamon rolls and coffee in our pajamas on Christmas day, unwrapping one another’s gifts, and squeezing each other in thanks.

God concurs.

What I Read in 2022 (and perhaps some books you might want to read in 2023)

What I Read in 2022 (and perhaps some books you might want to read in 2023)

How much would you pay to meet your favorite celebrity? $100? $1,000?? $10,000??? The number isn’t insignificant, is it? Listening to the stories and wisdom from those we trust is worth quite a bit, isn’t it?

This year Angel and I worked hard to bring our first co-written book entitled Substitute Identities to publication. Right now it is in the hands of our publisher’s copy editor, and we can’t wait to share it with you. The process of pouring our hearts into this book makes me reflect on just what gifts books are. While we might be willing to pay exorbitant sums to sit at the feet of the world’s best thinkers, it only takes $10-$20 to listen to these spinners of tales. Isn’t that amazing?

So, however many books you read in 2022, maybe you might be blessed to read a few more in 2023, and perhaps some of my favorites might point you to a few gems.

In 2022 so far, I’ve read 110 books and hope to read a handful more before the year closes. I’ve been blessed to read a wide variety of good books this year. I’ll begin with my four favorite books of 2022, followed by the entire list of books I read. I hope you find some gems for you in this.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Biblically Accurate Angels Would Be Pretty Scary: Over at History Defined the various descriptions of angels in scripture are considered and the results don’t look at all like the offerings from Precious Moments. For instance, “The prophet Ezekiel’s vision of cherubim is depicted in the Book of Ezekiel in which they are portrayed as having four faces — one of an eagle, one a human, one an ox, and finally a lion. Cherubim have straight legs, four wings (one set covers their body while the other is used for flying), and bull hooves for feet.” [For what it’s worth, I believe that the author’s conclusion that the authors are struggling to find appropriate language for heavenly creatures is true, although I also think many of these images include biblical allusions that speak to their character more than their appearance.]

  2. Stop Throwing Pastors Under the Bus: I hesitate to include this as it feel self-serving, but I appreciate Brent McCracken’s perspective here. Without letting pastors off the hook, he encourages congregants to consider their motives when they are quick to criticize, “Are our calls for a pastor to denounce that particular sin in “the culture” matched by our invitation for him to call us out on our own sin?”

  3. Shaken to Bear Fruit: Tim Challies reflects on how his son’s death shook him. He begins, “The strange machine along the streets of Madrid seized my attention. Its long arms reached out and wrapped themselves around the trunk of a tree. Its motor vibrated those arms at high speeds so they could shake the tree violently. Its net sat suspended just beneath the lowest branches. As the machine buzzed and roared, a hundred ripe oranges fell from the branches to land in the net below — a hundred ripe oranges that could feed and satisfy a hundred people. That machine was carefully designed to release the fruit from the tree — to release it by shaking.

  4. A Reflection on Barna’s Open Generation Report: This is important for anyone with a heart for the rising generation. Nick Hartman highlights some important findings, “One of the most striking discoveries of Open Generation, vol. 1, was that an overwhelming majority of teenagers call themselves Christians. 52% of teenagers identify as Christians, but this study also noted that ‘only 50 percent among teens who identify as Christians say Jesus was resurrected; not even half (44%) say Jesus was God in human form.’”

  5. When You Feel Overwhelmed: Lauren Washer begins, “My eye started twitching about ten days before he left, and at my annual well visit on the day prior to his departure, my blood pressure was higher than it has ever been.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. What to Say to Someone Suffering Like Job: Eric Ortlund encourages us, “First, remember that your friend might be so shell-shocked in the early days of his ordeal that he can barely hear you. Lecture him, and all he’ll give you is a glassy stare. Remember as well that he is probably receiving “help” from other Christians that is distinctly unhelpful. If your friend does not respond as well as you would like, or does not respond at all, it may be because he is simply unable to.”

  2. Hearts Painted by the Word Again and Again: Courtney Yantes compares reading the Bible to painting the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s a helpful analogy. She begins, “The job of painting the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is never-ending. I heard once that they paint it end-to-end, but by the time they get to the end—however many years that may take—it is time to start over. In reality, though, sections and portions of the bridge are prioritized according to need. Regardless of strategy, the bridge is never not being painted. It is one of the primary maintenance jobs.”

  3. 11 Doctrines Pastors Can’t Assume Church Attenders Understand: Based on recent surveys, Marissa Postell urges pastors not to presume that those they are speaking to understand the basics of Christian faith. For instance, “53% of Americans say Jesus was a great teacher but not God. While fewer evangelicals say the same, many still believe Jesus is not God. Only 54% of evangelicals disagree with the statement: ‘Jesus was a great teacher, but He was not God.’”

  4. 5 Myths about How We Got the Bible: Peter Gurry and John Meade take on popular disinformation about the formation of the canon, for instance that a council chose the books in the New Testament, “ There was no vote on the canon at Nicaea, and Constantine never decreed what books belonged in the Bible.”

  5. Your Tears Have Good Company: Chris Thomas answers the question “Why would Jesus weep?” this way, “Because he knows your pain. He understands your sorrow. He shares in your loss. He is familiar with separation.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. What Have Theologians Said About the Fall of Satan? I don’t love the title of this article, as there is quite a number of challenges in the passages cited, including the fact that several clearly first reference human beings (they might also reference Satan). But Dustin Benge does a good job of laying out the way many theologians have constructed the story from what we have.

  2. Three Times Jesus Told Us He Was God Without Saying It: Rebecca McLaughlin is always so good. She says, “What does it mean for us that the Creator God became a man in Jesus Christ? It means that you and I are fully and completely known. It means we’re known more fully than a mother knows her baby, than an artist knows his paintings, than a novelist knows her imaginary world.”

  3. Seeds and Sunflowers: Seth Lewis invites us to wonder, “Imagine showing someone who had never seen a sunflower that tiny seed in its tiny shell and trying to describe to them what would happen if they planted it in the ground. Imagine being the person that had never seen a sunflower, and trying to get your head around the idea that the little grey nothing in your hand could transform so completely into something so impressive and colourful. If all you knew was the seed, how could you ever guess the flower?”

  4. Beware the New Seeker Sensitivity: Trevin Wax takes this post in a direction I didn’t expect at all from the title. He begins, “For decades now, I’ve heard pastors, preachers, and theologians preach against ‘seeker sensitivity’ as a ministry philosophy…It’s ironic, then, to see some of the same voices become known as much for their political punditry as their gospel proclamation.”

  5. 8 Ways We Normalize the Abnormal: Paul David Tripp asks us to consider those things which have become normalized that the Christian should fight against. For instance, emotionally-driven and self-righteous responses.