Christian Living

7 Ways To Fight Well

7 Ways To Fight Well

Have you ever sent off an email or a text with the jab of an angry finger? Have you ever slammed a door or punched a wall? Have you ever hung up on someone? We all have conflict in our lives.

We encounter conflict daily: we have disagreements with our spouses, parents, children, co-workers, and neighbors. But how do we navigate conflict and come out the other side in one piece? How do we not become the worst version of ourselves during conflict? What if conflict provided an opportunity for us to grow as people and also to glorify God?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  • Your Attention Span Isn’t Dead – Yet: Rebecca Ruiz begins, “I have a modest dare for you, dear reader: Try to stay on this page for longer than 47 seconds. That may seem like a ridiculously short and easy period to focus on one task, but studies show that the average time spent on a single screen has shrunk to less than a minute.”

  • How Should We Handle Outrage? Amy Hall reminds us, “It’s not wrong to be outraged by evil. Our desire for justice flows directly from our love for God and our knowledge of his magnificent, righteous, beautiful character. Because he is the standard of all justice, we likewise love justice. Because he is the Creator, all truth is valuable. And because we love the truth, lies are maddening. Because he has explained what it means to love, we know how to truly help people. And because we love people, injustices infuriate. God himself is angry at evil because evil destroys human beings, who are created in his image, so our outrage is understandable.”

  • Facts Don’t Care About Your Healings: This is a dense, but important post by Samuel James. He draws toward this conclusion, “Ben Shapiro’s famous tweet “Facts don’t care about your feelings” has come to symbolize the reactionary conservative movement. Feelings are thought now to be left-coded, and facts right-coded. This isn’t all that new. But the recoding of justice/forgiveness suggests that it is now conservatives who find themselves the party of emotional health, over and against the progressives as the party of capital-L Law.”

  • Don’t Be a Fig Leaf: Kim Barnes, “Yet we are often uncomfortable when people we love confess sin. Almost like a reflex, we want to reassure and comfort. How many times has someone apologized to you and your automatic response was: “It’s okay”? We minimize the sins of others because we minimize our own sin. While we should love and forgive the friend who comes to us in confession, it’s not okay. Sin is not okay.”

  • The Peace of Wild Things: Stop what you’re doing and give just over a minute of your attention to this beautiful poem that echoes Jesus’s words about the sparrow.

7 Ways to Fight Poorly

7 Ways to Fight Poorly

I wake up first in our home. I get dressed and start the coffee. I wake up Angel and our two teenage kids. The other day, I wake my daughter up with a kiss to the forehead, “good morning, sweetie, it’s time to wake up.” “No, it isn’t!” she responded, pulling her covers over her head. My first whiff of conflict.

I go back downstairs and work on breakfast. At 6:50 everyone is supposed to be gathered around the table. Usually only one of the three is there. I would tell you who, but you know, conflict. It lurks again.

Faith is not Anonymous

Faith is not Anonymous

She was desperate. The bleeding started 12 years ago. It began as a typical period and then just didn’t stop. The perpetual loss of blood left her weak and with constant cramping. Ceremonially unclean, she couldn’t go to the temple or the high holy days. She wasn’t allowed to touch her friends or family as she would make them unclean. Loneliness crept in. She went to doctor after doctor. She took herbs and minerals, and oils. Her finances diminished as her desperation increased. She was lonely and depressed.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Should Christian Parents Send Their Children to Public Schools: I’ve appreciated all of these debates and this one between Jen Wilkin and Jonathan Pennington demonstrates humility, grace, and understanding.

  2. The Safest Place: Andrea Seaborn with an invitation, “When we live in His presence rather than imagining ourselves under His thumb, possibilities tumble in—frightening, exhilarating, wonder-filled or painful, but meaningful. Purposeful. Real.”

  3. Be Slow to Pull the ‘God’ Card: Will Anderson says, “When the conversation turns from concrete biblical revelation to promptings, senses, urges, spontaneous thoughts, and claims of “God told me so,” it can feel squishy and prone to abuse.”

  4. Telling the Truth: Brenda Pauken directs this to counselors, but the importance of learning to dig to be honest with oneself is important for all of us, “Many of us tell ourselves untrue things that make us feel better in the moment but don’t serve us well in the long run. Consider, “Yes, that was hard, but I’m fine,” or “It wasn’t a big deal.” These statements, along with “I had a happy childhood,” prevent us from facing the reality of our lives and hearts.” The second part of this piece is also well worth reading.

  5. World Nature Photography Awards: Wow! That croc eye! And check out that Preying Mantis taking down a lizard.

The Power of Encouragement

The Power of Encouragement

We are called to be those marked by encouragement. So, why is encouragement so hard for us? Why do we withhold praise? For some of us, we withhold encouragement because we just get busy. I like to write encouragement notes to volunteers and co-workers at New Life, but it’s surprising how quickly the weeks (and sometimes months!) go by between when I write them.

Some of us withhold encouragement because we are too focused on ourselves. It requires a humble heart focused on others and not ourselves to offer encouragement. To the extent that we are self-focused, we will never be able to be strong encouragers.

Letting the Critics Drive the Conversation

Letting the Critics Drive the Conversation

The atmosphere was lively at our city’s Independence Day celebration. A cover band belted out tributes to classic rock, bouncy houses were extra bouncy, and food trucks lined the field. Under a pop-up tent near the entrance, local politicians shook hands.  

One candidate approached me and pulled me into a conversation. Taking the bait, I asked her about her stance on a local issue. My question spun out into a twenty-minute discussion….

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Stripped for Parts: Chris Davis considers the destructive power of lust. “Lust instead reduces a person to shapes, angles, and proportions, to their nearness to the body type du jour. Porn literally strips human beings for parts. With a click or swipe, online users can view other human beings, stripped of clothes, in order to view their most intimate parts.”

  2. What to Do When Your Friend is Considering Suicide: Jonathan Noyes offers, “If you are worried about someone, express your concern. Don’t be afraid to ask directly, “Have you thought about suicide?” Using that word will not push them towards taking their own life, but it will remove any ambiguity or grey area in the conversation.”

  3. Giving to Large Churches Drops even as Charitable Giving Rises: Bob Smietana reports, “Churches with budgets under $2 million saw giving go down by 8%, while those with budgets of more than $20 million saw giving go down by 2.5%.”

  4. Kept: Kristin begins, “This is for the one who is feeling wobbly today. Perhaps you have been flattened: cast aside by another, gossiped about, slandered while doing good.”

  5. 3 Elements of Biblical Spirituality: J.A. Medders with a helpful visual that clarifies this truth, “What we believe from the Bible, how we love and respond in the heart, and how we live and practice in life—that's true spirituality.”

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Imagine you are standing at a bus stop headed to an interview when a bicyclist rides by and splashes mud on you. What is the story you tell yourself? About the bicyclist? About how you think your interview will play out? What impression do you think the interviewer will now have about you?

The Light and You

The Light and You

I was born in Fairbanks, Alaska. During the dead of winter, there are several weeks when the sun skims the horizon for a mere four hours a day. If you move north to the Arctic Circle, there are days without sunlight.

Can you imagine a world without light? A world where you can’t see your hand in front of your face?