Why the Search for the Church that Meets Your Needs is Futile: Carey Nieuwhof asks, “Should the criteria of a church meeting your needs be the reason you change churches? Well, what if the church was never intended to meet your needs? What if the furthest thing from God’s mind when he created the church was to meet your needs?”
Why You Should Name and Feel Even Negative Emotions: Lara D’Entremont reflects, “I rarely dealt with or named my emotions—at least not the “negative” ones. They had to be killed, banished, ignored, and stuffed. I learned this from both Christian circles (like the counselor above) and my own fears. I didn’t want others to see my emotions. Negative emotions always equaled sin and weakness in my mind, a reason for people to look down their noses at me. So I tried to kill my negative feelings with kindness—or gratitude. But what if there’s goodness in every emotion—even in the ones we don’t like so much?”
Expressive Individualism and the Death of Mental “Illness” Samuel James’s point is worth considering. He says, “Here’s one guess: Personality profiling is the last politically-acceptable way of receiving an identity, rather than crafting one. And many people today are weary of crafting their own custom identity and would very much like to belong to something instead.”
Prayers That God Will Not Answer: Tim Challies begins, “There are times when it seems like God does not hear us. There are times when it seems like God has become deaf to our prayers and unresponsive to our cries. There are times when we seek but do not find, knock but do not find the door opened. Why is it that God sometimes does not answer our prayers?”
Beneath Our Social Justice Strife: Thaddeus Williams has four questions for both sides. He begins, “Over the last five years, the topic of social justice has become something of a jackhammer in some churches, reducing congregations to rubble, shaking denominations, even fracturing fellowship between old friends. Online cloisters have formed in which anyone to our left must be a social-justice-warrior snowflake or a neo-Marxist. And, in other cloisters, anyone to our right is probably a white supremacist or a neo-Nazi. Meanwhile, the exhausted majority feels caught in the crossfire, hoping for some new way forward.”
This Week's Recommendations
A Call to Raise Daughters Wise to Domestic Abuse: Excellent article by Jeremy Pierre. He begins, “’If your future husband ever lays a finger on you, you better tell me so I can kill him.’ This is the extent to which many dads address abuse with their daughters. It feels effective because it’s simple, protective, and tough. And it also feels kind of awesome to say.
Loving With a Limp: Chris Thomas writes, “Maybe, like Jacob, an encounter with God will leave you living life with a limp, serving with a limp, worshiping with a limp; loving with a limp.”
Cords Have Memory: Lauren Washer likens the memory of electrical cords with our inner lives. “Our inner lives have a similar type of cord memory. We inherit ideas, values, and belief systems from our families, faith backgrounds, and cultural surroundings. Many of these are good and right. But sometimes, the way we’ve always done things or thought about things, isn’t good.”
Bend Me Toward the Light: Glenna Marshall says, “When I find myself spending copious amounts of time pursuing distractions, my prayer has become one of crooked house plants and branchy, horizontal azaleas: “Lord, bend me toward the Light.” Distractions are just that—distractions. We aren’t meant to spend our time and mental margin on things that do not feed our souls. We’ll wither up and die without spiritual nourishment, especially if our flesh is yearning for what the world offers”
The Anatomy of an Apology: Justin Hale responds to this question, “I recently did something hurtful to a family member. Shortly afterward, I said I was sorry but the person didn’t seem to accept my apology. I’ve tried to reach out but they are giving me a bit of a “cold shoulder.” They still seem bugged about what I did. I feel like I’ve done my part and now it’s up to them to accept the apology. Should I be looking at this differently?”
Praying for Women with Unwanted Pregnancies
Several weeks ago I offered a prayer in the wake of the leaked decision that will likely overturn Roe v. Wade and send the determination of the limitations of abortion back to each state. I also pray for the many women who are fearful as they navigate unexpected and perhaps unwanted pregnancies. I pray for men who selfishly coerce their girlfriends and wives to have abortions. I pray for abusive men to repent and seek help. I pray for protection women who are in abusive relationships. Below is a slightly amended prayer for women who are struggling right now with these types of pregnancies. Would you continue to join me in prayer?
Church Abuse and the Lies We Tell Ourselves About the Dark
Last week an atomic bomb hit the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), the largest Protestant denomination in the United States, with an estimated 14 million members across more than 47,000 churches. An in-depth investigative report demonstrated that the Executive Committee of the SBC was aware of pervasive sexual malfeasance in their ranks over the past fifteen years and refused to act. The Executive Committee swept sexual abuse allegations under the rug, perpetrators were moved from one congregation to another to hide their abuse, and earnest appeals for reform were denied.
What is the reputation of a denomination when the reputation of Christ is at stake? What is the world's perception worth when the hearts of the vulnerable are on the line?
Growing In Our Faith Together
Recently one of the members of our connection group courageously poured out her heart. She felt disconnected from God and bruised by a challenging season of life. “How can I feel like God isn’t so distant?” What a profound question…
Community is the context of vibrant and growing faith. God doesn’t tell us the only way we ought to be praying or reading his Word is individually. On the contrary! God invites us to step into community.
Studies show that people are much more likely to follow through on commitments to exercise and eat healthier when they do so with a partner. I’ve found the same to be true for my spiritual disciplines. While I daily read the Bible alone and pray alone, I find tremendous joy in reading the Bible as a family and praying as a family.
Intercessions for Life
My heart has been conflicted since the Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade was leaked last week. I praise God that states will have the opportunity to protect the lives of unborn children. I am hopeful that many will step forward to care for children who are put forward for adoption. I prayed for three couples at our church who are currently hoping that God would allow them to adopt and considered how they might hear this news. I was disheartened by the attack on our democratic system by the leak of the decision. I was frustrated by many politicians’ lack of honesty in the explanation of what the ruling means for women. I was aghast by the blatant disregard for the welfare of the conservative justices by the pro-choice group who spread their home addresses.
Have mercy on us, sinners, Wounded Savior.
How do You Pray for Someone Who is Hurting?
“How are you?” you greet your neighbor at the park. You ask the question like you mean it.
“Okay,” she responds. But the crease between her eyebrows and the slump of her shoulders lets you know that she is most definitely not “okay.”
“What’s the matter?” you ask, lovingly responding to her body language instead of her words.
She begins to open up. She and her husband got in a fight last night. Tears begin to flow. She’s worried about her mom’s health. She’s anxious about work. The conversation winds to a close. You would like to pray for her, but how do you cross that bridge? How do you pray for someone in need?
Perhaps the only thing stronger than our natural impulse toward the spiritual and religious is our reticence toward public displays of our religion. Last week we talked about five reasons we ought to press through our discomfort to pray for those in need. Those reasons were:
So Much More Than “Sending Good Thoughts”
Your co-worker has just shared with you that her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. You press in and provide a listening ear. But as the conversation closes, what do you say? Nothing? That you will pray for her family? Or do you ask if you could pray with her right then?
I’ve done all three, and there are circumstances where all three are wise and godly responses. But usually praying for a friend with a request then and there is the best response. There have been far too many times when I have not prayed with someone who needed prayer or told them I would pray for them later when the most loving thing I should have done for them was to pray with them right there.
Offering to pray for someone in the moment can feel awkward. Your mind races: do they even believe in God? What god do they believe in? Are they going to be offended if I ask?
Why is it worth the risk to pray for someone in need? And how do you do it?
When we pray for someone, we demonstrate Christianity is so much more than mere platitudes.
One of the most frequent responses I’ve observed on Facebook from unbelievers when encountering difficult situations with others is their promise to “send good thoughts.” The statement itself concedes that it is nothing more than a platitude. What does it look like to “send good thoughts”? Will the one who promises to send them follow through? What happens when those “good thoughts” are sent? Will they have any impact? On all counts: no, and assuredly not. When we say “I’ll pray for you” for many non-Christians, they hear a promise as empty as “sending good thoughts.” By actually praying with them then and there, you are demonstrating that you are not just offering a sentiment, not just dropping an empty platitude, but you will follow through.
When we pray for someone, we demonstrate we have really heard our friend.
Praying out loud with your friend shows that you have really heard them. As you ask God to intervene in the situation and you echo back specifics they mentioned and reflect to God emotions they may not have even stated out loud, your friend can hear your attention to them.
Have You Given Me the Fountain, but Deny Me the Stream?
Six times in the book of Hebrews, the author urges us to draw near to God. In Hebrews 4:16, the author encourages us about what awaits us as we approach the presence of God. He says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
God offers us himself fully to us not just in the accomplishment of our salvation, but also daily in prayer. God not only grants us the fountain of life, but also the streams of his mercy. But, with my muddled mind and divided attention, how do I draw near to his throne of grace with confidence?
My Co-Lead pastor, Greg Lavine, and I lead discipleship groups that run concurrently through the school year. We take a group of men or women through a year of study that includes theological and spiritual formation. Currently we are in a stretch focused on the practice of prayer. In one of the weeks we use two books of compiled Puritan prayers: Valley of Vision and Piercing Heaven. The idea of utilizing Puritan prayers might sound as exciting as watching someone else fill out their tax returns, but I have found these books vibrant guides.
Why would we use someone else’s prayers to help us pray? Wouldn’t that make our prayer life stilted and formal? Wouldn’t praying the words of someone who died several hundred years ago create distance between God and us? These concerns haven’t been realized in my own prayer life.
As I read the prayers of those among the cloud of witnesses, I find myself nudged out of the ruts of my typical extemporaneous prayers. When I pray along with the meditations of the Puritans, my prayers tend to focus more on spiritual realities. These brothers help me see the glory of Christ and my sin more clearly.
The Best of the Bee Hive in 2021
My heart with my blogging ministry at The Bee Hive is to pastor through words. When I launched The Bee Hive, I wasn’t sure how many I would be able to shepherd through my writing.
In my first year of blogging, 2017, I was encouraged to have 1,767 unique visitors to my website with 3,939 page views. I was glad that my writing was being read and hopeful that it was helpful. I was concerned, though, that maybe after an acquaintance read the blog a couple times, the interest would diminish, and the impact would wane.
That fear was answered in 2018, when I saw the first year’s numbers nearly double, with 3,463 unique visitors and 6,398 page views. In 2019, I was shocked to double those numbers again with 8,500 unique visitors and over 13,600 page views. In 2020, those numbers grew to 12,000 unique visitors and 17,000 page views. And this year, my blog grew to 28,000 unique visitors and 49,000 page views.
On top of that are my faithful subscribers (thank you!) who read my posts via email. Mailchimp tells me 59% of you often read my posts, which means that in this past year, around 46,000 posts were read via email.
All of this is a surprise and a great encouragement to me.
Sometimes readers will ask how they can support me. That is a kind question. I would offer four meaningful ways to encourage me as a pastor-writer:
Subscribe. Subscribing to my emails lets me know you’re in. In a context where social media outlets depress the visibility of bloggers, subscribing helps me know my blog is reaching my readers. You can subscribe at the top of the home page.
Share. It’s so encouraging when you share content with your friends that is meaningful to you.
Comment. Your words of affirmation mean so much to me.
Support. The elders of New Life Bible Fellowship are generous enough to allow me to write as part of my role as pastor. It is for that reason I do not ask for personal financial support. If you have felt blessed by this ministry of New Life, I would encourage you to consider supporting our church. You may do so here.
My seven most-read posts of 2021 follow. It is always interesting to me which of my posts resonate with readers. If any of these posts blessed you, would you share it with a friend?
Please know how grateful I am for you. Thank you for your support and for investing your time and energy in reading The Bee Hive.