Suffering

Wickedness and Unhealed Trauma

Wickedness and Unhealed Trauma

Trauma is everywhere. One in four women and one in six men will be sexually abused. At least one in seven children have experienced abuse or neglect in the past year. More than one in four abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

Psychological research continues to demonstrate the tentacle-like nature of the impact of trauma. Effects include dissociation, panic attacks, hyperarousal, loss of sleep, low self-esteem, grief, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and substance abuse.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. An Open Letter to Those Nearing Retirement: John Dunlap’s letter is simple and rich. “For years I have given my retiring patients two simple rules for retiring well: Wake up every morning knowing what you are going to do that day. Go to bed every night knowing that someone else was helped.”

  2. The Man in the Mirror: My friend Dustin DeJong’s post on shame is excellent. He says, “When I force my eyes to meet their reflection, it’s not my eyes I see. It’s my shame: what I’ve done and who I’ve become. It’s what these eyes have seen, these ears have heard, these hands have done. There are decades of regret behind those eyes. It’s the feeling of 20+ years of sexual struggles.”

  3. Wounds in Beauty Glorified: Mitch Chase responds to the question: “Why did Jesus’ resurrected body bear wounds of his crucifixion?” His third reason is, “Third, the visible marks on Jesus’s risen body were not evidence of failure but were a display of victory.”

  4. Harry Emerson Fosdick and the Spirit of American Liberalism: You likely don’t know Fosdick’s name, but Kevin DeYoung shares why it is worth knowing. A drift to spiritualism and liberalism is nothing new. Fosdick preached, “’God keep us,’ he exhorted in the last line of his sermon, ‘intellectually hospitable, open-minded, liberty-loving, fair, tolerant, not with the tolerance of indifference as though we did not care about the faith, but because always our major emphasis is upon the weightier matters of the law.’”

  5. Grief is Not the Enemy: Travis writes, “Like love or joy or hope, grief is not less than an emotion, but it is also much more. And certainly, love and joy are tightly connected with grief. We cannot truly grieve something or someone unless we love them first and take joy in them. It would be natural to think of grief as the opposite of joy, or the absence of love, but that’s not quite right.”

  6. Fantastic Fireflies: Fantastic indeed!

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. A Call to Raise Daughters Wise to Domestic Abuse: Excellent article by Jeremy Pierre. He begins, “’If your future husband ever lays a finger on you, you better tell me so I can kill him.’ This is the extent to which many dads address abuse with their daughters. It feels effective because it’s simple, protective, and tough. And it also feels kind of awesome to say.

  2. Loving With a Limp: Chris Thomas writes, “Maybe, like Jacob, an encounter with God will leave you living life with a limp, serving with a limp, worshiping with a limp; loving with a limp.”

  3. Cords Have Memory: Lauren Washer likens the memory of electrical cords with our inner lives. “Our inner lives have a similar type of cord memory. We inherit ideas, values, and belief systems from our families, faith backgrounds, and cultural surroundings. Many of these are good and right. But sometimes, the way we’ve always done things or thought about things, isn’t good.”

  4. Bend Me Toward the Light: Glenna Marshall says, “When I find myself spending copious amounts of time pursuing distractions, my prayer has become one of crooked house plants and branchy, horizontal azaleas: “Lord, bend me toward the Light.” Distractions are just that—distractions. We aren’t meant to spend our time and mental margin on things that do not feed our souls. We’ll wither up and die without spiritual nourishment, especially if our flesh is yearning for what the world offers”

  5. The Anatomy of an Apology: Justin Hale responds to this question, “I recently did something hurtful to a family member. Shortly afterward, I said I was sorry but the person didn’t seem to accept my apology. I’ve tried to reach out but they are giving me a bit of a “cold shoulder.” They still seem bugged about what I did. I feel like I’ve done my part and now it’s up to them to accept the apology. Should I be looking at this differently?”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why Do Billionaires Want to Live Forever: Tim Challies begins a deep reflection with this question, “Why is it that billionaires always seem to want to live forever? Why is it that the 1% of the 1% almost always seem to veer from their core businesses into attempts to prolong their lives indefinitely?”

  2. Why Mainstream Scholars often Differ with Evangelical Pastors on the Gospel: Having attended a mainline seminary, I resonated with George Sinclair’s reasoning here. Near the end of the post he shares, “There is a rich, thick, deep history and literature of Christian thought which shows not just the truth and reasonableness of miracles, but the importance of them for a wide, humane, and beautiful understanding of the world—one which leads to human flourishing.”

  3. Fertility is Not a Disease: D Eaton writes, “This desire to have sexual pleasure without constraint has culture suppressing the truth of not only biblical revelation but also science. To justify the extermination of the child, we must classify the child in the womb as either not a human in its natural course of existence or not alive. It is impossible to deny either scientifically, yet logic and truth must be sacrificed on the altar of sexual autonomy.”

  4. The Last Gift My Father Gave Me: This is an excellent piece from Mike Cosper. He shares how his father’s death allowed him to finally experience the gift of grief.

  5. Your Money Will Trick You: Trevin Wax reminds us, “Jesus says ‘Watch out!’ and ‘Be on guard’ as if there’s a silent, stealthy enemy creeping up on an unsuspecting person, ready to pounce. We like to think of wealth and possessions as inanimate objects, helpful to us if we use them correctly, but basically neutral.”

Praying for Women with Unwanted Pregnancies

Praying for Women with Unwanted Pregnancies

Several weeks ago I offered a prayer in the wake of the leaked decision that will likely overturn Roe v. Wade and send the determination of the limitations of abortion back to each state. I also pray for the many women who are fearful as they navigate unexpected and perhaps unwanted pregnancies. I pray for men who selfishly coerce their girlfriends and wives to have abortions. I pray for abusive men to repent and seek help. I pray for protection women who are in abusive relationships. Below is a slightly amended prayer for women who are struggling right now with these types of pregnancies. Would you continue to join me in prayer?

Church Abuse and the Lies We Tell Ourselves About the Dark

Church Abuse and the Lies We Tell Ourselves About the Dark

Last week an atomic bomb hit the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), the largest Protestant denomination in the United States, with an estimated 14 million members across more than 47,000 churches. An in-depth investigative report demonstrated that the Executive Committee of the SBC was aware of pervasive sexual malfeasance in their ranks over the past fifteen years and refused to act. The Executive Committee swept sexual abuse allegations under the rug, perpetrators were moved from one congregation to another to hide their abuse, and earnest appeals for reform were denied.

What is the reputation of a denomination when the reputation of Christ is at stake? What is the world's perception worth when the hearts of the vulnerable are on the line?

Intercessions for Life

Intercessions for Life

My heart has been conflicted since the Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade was leaked last week. I praise God that states will have the opportunity to protect the lives of unborn children. I am hopeful that many will step forward to care for children who are put forward for adoption. I prayed for three couples at our church who are currently hoping that God would allow them to adopt and considered how they might hear this news. I was disheartened by the attack on our democratic system by the leak of the decision. I was frustrated by many politicians’ lack of honesty in the explanation of what the ruling means for women. I was aghast by the blatant disregard for the welfare of the conservative justices by the pro-choice group who spread their home addresses.

Have mercy on us, sinners, Wounded Savior.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why Pastors Must Talk About Race: Derwin Gray reminds us, “Our ethnicity is a gift from God reflecting his multifaceted wisdom. Biblical characters are not colorless or cultureless. They were people situated in real places, with real, image-bearing ethnicities, in particular cultures and times—just as we are.

  2. An Open Letter to a Distressed Sufferer: Mike Emlet offers gentle word to those who are hurting. He concludes, “I’ll close for now. Please know that your burden is my burden and I am privileged to walk alongside you. That’s another way in which you are not alone, embedded as you are in the body of Christ.”

  3. How the Gospel is Good News for Every Story: Scott McConnell with an insightful article on how the gospel speaks to every cultural worldview. He begins, “Missiologists often describe three worldviews different cultures exhibit: innocence-guilt, power-fear, and honor-shame. The innocence-guilt worldview believes being and doing right is what matters most. Much of what is considered right in these cultures has been codified in law, so following the law is very important. The power-fear worldview says overcoming fear by tapping into power matters most. Typically, that power is believed to be accessed from the spirit world. The honor-shame worldview says the honor and wellbeing of your group, tribe, or extended family matters most.

  4. Sing Your Heart Out at Church (Even if You Hate the Music): Brett McCracken begins, “I love church pipe organs and classical music. I prefer Victorian hymns and Stuart Townend songs over Hillsong and Bethel. I dislike “modern renditions” of old hymns, where the melody is slightly tweaked or a new chorus is added in between original verses. A simple piano, organ, or acoustic guitar accompaniment to “Be Thou My Vision” will do just fine.”

  5. Does God Love Me Just the Way I Am? Ligon Duncan answers the question.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. What Do I Do When I Can’t Seem to Get Over My Grief? Alasdair Groves provides a nuanced answer. He asks, what do we do with “grief that just does not relent and it aches and I did not expect it to ache this long and it seems to still be aching and I’m not sure why. I cannot seem to get over it. I want to start by saying getting over it is maybe not the best way to capture the biblical response to grief.

  2. What is Dispensationalism? Keith Mathison with a helpful explanation of an influential theological camp in America. At the heart of the difference between dispensationalism and reformed theology is this, “Dispensationalism differs from Reformed covenant theology in a number of ways, but the most significant is this idea of two peoples of God.”

  3. You Might Be a Stingy Forgiver If… Cindy Matson begins with this, “Sometimes anger just feels so good, doesn’t it? In the moment we’re letting the other person finally get their comeuppance, we find pleasure, just as we do in all sins…”

  4. When You Feel Small, Look to the Cosmos and the Cross: Philip Yancey concludes, “A God beyond the limits of space and time has a boundless capacity of love for his creations, no matter how small or rebellious they might be. As it happens, that message is best expressed not from a whirlwind, or burning bush, or smoking mountain—but rather person to person, through Jesus and his followers.”

  5. Death and Taxes: I particularly appreciated the first half of this This American Life episode that focuses on hospice care.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. How Shohei Ohtani Made Baseball Fun Again: This whets my appetite for baseball again. Ohtani is so much fun: a starting pitcher and a designated hitter, he is a unique talent who is a joy to watch. Daniel Riley begins his story this way, “Not since the days of Babe Ruth has one of baseball's greatest hitters also been one of its finest pitchers. Now, the reigning MVP is opening up for the first time about his singular place in modern baseball.”

  2. Rejoice in Suffering: Guy Richard with a powerful observation, “[Jesus] could not be there [in Colossae] physically, and, as a result, the Colossian church could not witness the sufferings of Christ for themselves in person. Paul’s sufferings, therefore, made up for this “lack” by showing the Colossian Christians the afflictions of Christ in his own suffering.

  3. Toward a Better Discussion About Abuse: Kevin DeYoung brings some much-needed clarity to a thorny topic. He says, “[T]he current discussion about abuse—as it is being played out online, in articles, in books, and in churches—gets quickly twisted and tied up in knots.”

  4. Three Obstacles that Hold Leaders Back (and How to Overcome): Steve Brown has several strong points in this article. In telling us to choose what we are listening to he says, “You have both the choice and ability to shut down unhealthy mindsets. As Dallas Willard writes in Renovation of the Heart, “The ultimate freedom we have as human beings is the power to select what we will allow our minds to dwell upon.”

  5. After Disruption: Andrew Roycroft reflects on what Covid means for the church in the West, “This means that regathering is not a sifting through the shrapnel of hard experience to reconstruct what we once had, but fashioning new materials which speak our past in plaintive and appreciative tones. That reconstructive work can prepare the church for the new adventure of being a people regrouped, reorganised, and reorientated towards what God would do in our present, building on our broken past, and holding fast to our certain future.”