Christian Living

Will You Forgive Me for My Cowardice?

Will You Forgive Me for My Cowardice?

.In the last post I confessed my sin of narcissism. It’s true, I can be a selfish and self-serving leader.

 

If it were only so easy to defend ourselves against sins from one direction. One of my favorite little leadership books to come out in the past few years has been Trevin Wax’s The Multi-Directional Leader. Wax’s thesis is simple: most leaders are only concerned about threats that come from one direction, but any shepherd knows that threats come from all sides. A wise leader is aware not just of one threat from one direction, but many threats from many directions.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Preparing children to suffer well: Curtis Solomon with an excellent article. This is a must-read for any parent or grandparent. “We don’t have to wait until trauma strikes to prepare the hearts of our children to face the most intense forms of suffering. There is no way to completely protect our children from suffering in this world, and we can’t guarantee they won’t face lasting challenges from traumatic experiences, but the following measures can help our children be prepared to respond well to suffering.”

  2. Let suffering lead to gentleness, not bitternessLara D’Entremont in a similar vein, “Gentle people aren’t gentle because they simply bottled all their frustration and anger inside. A gentle spirit isn’t cultivated through gritted teeth, clenched fists, and a strained smile. Gentleness grows in a heart set on this truth: the Lord is near (Phil. 4:5b)”

Would You Forgive Me for My Narcissism?

Would You Forgive Me for My Narcissism?

In the ancient myth, the hunter Narcissus was acclaimed for his beauty. Many sought Narcissus romantically, but he spurned them all. One day on a hunt, Narcissus paused to rest by a pool of water, stooping for a drink, he caught sight of his own reflection. He fell in love with his reflection and stayed by the pool staring at himself for the rest of his life.

 

The American Psychiatric Association defines narcissistic personality disorder as, “a pattern of need for admiration and lack of empathy for others. A person with narcissistic personality disorder may have a grandiose sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, take advantage of others or lack empathy.” Do you have some narcissism in you? I do.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

Thankfulness (and other habits)Marli Scarborough says our gratitude is tied to our identity, “So when [Paul] says “don’t BE anxious,” he’s not saying “don’t FEEL anxious,” or “don’t have anxiety.” He’s saying that anxiety doesn’t have to be your identity. Your identity is in Christ. Joy and gentleness and peace are already yours for the taking.”

  1. Before you gather, mourn your sinPaul Tripp offers a surprising recommendation for how to make your Thanksgiving special. He begins, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matt. 5:4). We don’t tend to like to be sad. We hate bad news. We work to avoid problems. We apologize when we cry in public. Being depressed scares us. In our avoidance of sadness, we often numb ourselves to death with endless social media fluff and vacuous Netflix entertainment.”

The Danger of Ingratitude

The Danger of Ingratitude

There is a deadly toxin that contaminates the air we breathe. It’s a poison that, if we are aware of it at all, seems innocuous to us both because everyone else is breathing it in, and as far as we’re aware of it, others are breathing more of it in than us.

The poison is ingratitude. And it is everywhere.

Everything (that I don’t have) is Awesome

Psychologists agree that social media has made us less happy. Why is that? Because the constant access into others’ lives taps into our propensity toward ingratitude. We are surrounded by neighbors with nicer cars, friends who take better and longer vacations, couples who are happier, and everyone seems to be fitter and better dressed than we are. And it’s all there for us to see tucked into that powerful, shiny rectangle in our pockets. Every minute of every day.

How Do You Forgive Someone Who Is Gone?

How Do You  Forgive Someone Who Is Gone?

“I want to forgive him, but how do I forgive someone who died years ago?”

“I want to forgive her, but I don’t have any way to contact her.”

 Do you have someone in your life that you want to forgive, but you don’t know how to because they are no longer in your life or perhaps they have passed away? This topic has come up a number of times in counseling others. May I offer some advice?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Lifetimes in landscapes: Brianna Lambert with a wonderfully evocative piece of writing, “He grew up in the foothills of the forest. Where the horizon disappeared behind the blue ridges. He’d spend his days with his eyes lifted towards the clouds that kissed the forehead of the mountaintops.”

  2. How to get the most out of your counseling sessionsJason Hsieh says, “Just as you would take a doctor’s medical prescriptions seriously. You can do this by regularly reviewing those particular biblical perspectives and following through on any new habits to form that you discuss.”

Creating a Family of Belovedness

Creating a Family of Belovedness

We stepped into the candy shop and could feel it immediately. We were welcome here. And no, it wasn’t just the aroma of chocolate wafting through the air (although that helped!). It was in the kind eyes of the shop owner, in the smile of her employee as she swept the floor. The sign outside said the shop closed five minutes earlier. “Are you sure it’s okay we come in?” I cautiously asked. “Of course!” she said. And I could feel that she meant it.

 The atmosphere in her candy shop stood in stark contrast with the cold and unwelcome atmospheres of several other shops we had visited in this tired New Mexican town. Near the end of our summer vacation, we all felt the unmistakable depression that lingered in this small town.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Five misconceptions about dechurching in America: Jim Davis and Michael Davis share that, “We’re currently living in the largest and fastest religious shift in U.S. history. Some 40 million adult Americans who used to go to church at least once per month now attend less than once per year. This shift is larger than the number of conversions during the First Great Awakening, Second Great Awakening, and the totality of the Billy Graham Crusades combined.”

  2. Immature defenses of ‘mature’ sexual content in moviesCap Stewart begins, “In a pornified culture like ours, it’s no wonder various scenes from mainstream films and television shows demonstrate a “porn aesthetic” (to borrow a phrase from academic Shelton Waldrep). We’re not just talking about raunchy comedies, erotic thrillers, or TV-MA (“mature audience”) HBO shows. Works of otherwise genuine artistry and quality storytelling can be tainted by the inclusion of a sex scene or two.”

How To Flee the Trap of Lust

How To Flee the Trap of Lust

Let’s be honest: the standard Jesus calls us when it comes to lust can feel profoundly unfair. It is God, after all, who created us as physical beings. It is God who created us as sexual beings. It is God who gave us desires. God gave us libido. And God gave us an imagination.

And in all this, God has created us in his image! God is the being with the most powerful desires in the universe! What kind of image-bearers would we be if we did not also have desires?

In recognizing that God created us as desiring beings, we acknowledge that God has called us to direct those desires to himself and his righteousness.