Recommendations, Family, Marriage, Relationships, Religion
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. Faithfulness in an inside-out world: This is a good one from Andrew Noble, In today’s age, people are to find out what’s inside first, and then they are to express it outward. Charles Taylor describes this as “a culture of authenticity.”

  2. Fight brain rot by reading books: This one is written to Gen Z, but applies to everyone. Luke Simon writes, “What surprised me most was how different reading was from scrolling. My phone had trained me to skim, to consume quickly, and to expect instant gratification. Books demanded something deeper: focus, patience, and the willingness to sit with ideas that don’t immediately resolve.”

This Week's Recommendations
Forgiveness, Relationships, Wisdom
John Beeson
Aslan Was Wrong

Like so many others, The Chronicles of Narnia is one of my favorite fiction series of all time. CS Lewis masterfully gives us insight into the heart of Christ and our relationship with him through the figure of Aslan. The tales teach us unforgettable truths about us about friendship, courage, and redemption.

Lewis brilliantly captures the weight of our sin against God. The figure of Aslan helps us see the price Christ paid to atone for our wrongdoings. Near the conclusion of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe we watch an interaction that gives us insight into the cost of our sin.

Aslan Was Wrong
Christian Living, Forgiveness, Relationships, Spiritual Growth
John Beeson
How to Apologize

We live in an apology-averse culture.

We are allergic to repentance and forgiveness alike.

Think about it. When was the last time someone repented to you? I mean, truly repented?

The last time a congregant apologized to me, the email began this way (I’ve tweaked it only to protect the one who sent it), “I might have been a little harsh in my email.. I had a very bad week…” In further communication, the individual referenced their apology. I scratched my head. “When did they apologize?” I dug back through the email thread and saw those phrases. That is what they were referencing.

How to Apologize
Recommendations, Identity, Marriage, Spiritual Growth
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. Three lies that separate spouses: Dave Harvey’s first lie is, “I can’t forgive you until you confess all the sin I see.”

  2. How the gospel answers shame in college students: Connie Leung Nelson explains, “For a long time, when I noticed students withdrawing or heard them voice a sense of shame, my first impulse was to reassure them there was nothing wrong with them. I’d direct them to their accomplishments in an attempt to counteract shame with honor. But pointing students to their work and successes doesn’t un-shame them.

This Week's Recommendations
Forgiveness
John Beeson
How to Forgive

“How can I forgive them?” It’s a question spoken out of a yearning to release the one who has inflicted injury. It’s a question that is expressed out of hurt and sometimes anger.

How do we forgive the person who keeps sinning against us? How do we forgive the person who grievously sins against us? How do we forgive the person who sins against us and isn’t repentant?

Forgiveness is mandatory as a Christian. In his depiction of how we ought to pray, Jesus ties up our forgiveness with the forgiveness we offer, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt 6:12).

How to Forgive

Marriage

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Your Marriage Doesn't Need Better Communication

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Your Marriage Doesn't Need Better Communication

“The biggest problem in our marriage is our communication.” It’s perhaps the most frequent issue that is brought to the table when Angel (my wife and counselor) and I meet with couples. At the core of many marriage seminars and conferences is the issue of how to improve the communication in your marriage.

I don’t buy it. Your marriage doesn’t need better communication.

Alright, alright. I’m overstating that for dramatic effect. Communication is important and often needs work. There are some helpful things you can do to improve communication in your marriage. But the fact remains: I’ve yet to encounter a marriage that the fundamental issue is communication. More serious issues always lurk beneath the surface.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. The blame game: Casey McCall asks, “What is it about our race that leads us to reflexively—subconsciously even—defer responsibility and search for excuses in the face of blame? I notice it in myself, in my children, and in people I counsel.”

  2. When is a couple considered married? Robby Lashua responds to common questions, “When is a couple considered married? After the ceremony? When they sign the license? After sex? What verses support this?”

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. The world cannot be gender blind: Trevin Wax, “One of the strange ironies of our times: a significant segment of the left pushes back forcefully against the idea of “color blindness” regarding race but demands what amounts to “gender blindness” regarding sex…”

  2. Violent pornography’s assault on the marriage bed: A very sobering read from Joe Carter, “Because these images are being fed to him when his personality is still being formed and his sexuality is developing, he begins to confuse his desires with those he sees in porn…

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. The data is clear: people are having less sex: Ryan Burge concludes, “Who would have thought that Mark Zuckerberg building an app to try and meet girls would eventually be one of the causes of declining fertility. But, here we are.”

  2. Climb a mountain, swim a sea, fight a dragon: Tim Challies on grace and works, “I think that if Elisha had told Naaman to do something hard and heroic, he would have gladly done it. If he had been told to climb a mountain or swim a sea or fight a dragon, he would have embarked on so noble a quest.

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Our Rescue Story

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Our Rescue Story

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” It is not that Thomas doesn’t believe marriage can be a source of joy, but that we ask too much if we ask marriage to bring us our “happily ever after.” Joy will likely trail holiness if we make that the main aim in marriage, but if we aim at happiness, we will miss both happiness and holiness.

 Angel and I can testify to how fragile marriage is. In the summer of 2009, our marriage began unraveling after my first three years of pastoral ministry—years I neglected Angel for my mistress, the church.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Why I’m not an exvangelical: Carey Nieuwhof explains, “I, too, am tired of the abuse, corruption, arrogance, shallow thinking, anti-intellectualism, partisanship, and politicization of the Christian message. I’m done with the racism, toxic culture, and the abuse of power we see again and again.”

  2. What do Mormons believe about marriage? Liesl Counterman explains, “In Mormonism, the bare minimum entrance requirement to eternal life is baptism, but the way to reach the highest heaven is through marriage.”

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

In the past post we considered the biblical priority of leading in our homes before stepping into leadership callings outside of our home.

When I was asked to speak to our Mom’s Matter group on leading well in the home I was a bit intimidated. I felt far from equipped to speak as a man to women on the topic of leadership. And so, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked wise, godly women who were also great leaders. Starting with my wife, I began to listen to the advice my female friends offered on leadership in the home and beyond.

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Leadership In Your Home and Beyond

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Leadership In Your Home and Beyond

Who are the most influential leaders in your life? What made them such great leaders?

I fear that our cultural understanding of leadership is going further astray from true leadership. We Americans seem to have a bizarre attraction to two types of leaders: celebrities and powerful communicators with bold, brash opinions. We judge leaders by the size of their platform.

Some time ago I was asked to speak to the Moms Matter group in our church about healthy leadership in the home and beyond. One of the comments made by the leadership team was that many moms believe they “don’t need to be or can’t be a leader because they are just moms.” We can all similarly dismiss ourselves.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Lifetimes in landscapes: Brianna Lambert with a wonderfully evocative piece of writing, “He grew up in the foothills of the forest. Where the horizon disappeared behind the blue ridges. He’d spend his days with his eyes lifted towards the clouds that kissed the forehead of the mountaintops.”

  2. How to get the most out of your counseling sessions: Jason Hsieh says, “Just as you would take a doctor’s medical prescriptions seriously. You can do this by regularly reviewing those particular biblical perspectives and following through on any new habits to form that you discuss.”

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Why Do I Have To Keep On Forgiving?

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Why Do I Have To Keep On Forgiving?

Why do I have to keep forgiving him?

I’ve heard it many times as a pastor. It’s said with weariness and hurt, or bitterness and anger, or confusion and longing. It can mean at least four things.

  • “It hurts too much to keep forgiving him for repeated sins.”

  • “Can’t I just overlook her sin against me?”

  • “He hurt me so deeply that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”

  • “Why am I still hurting over an offense when I said I forgave her?”

What does God’s Word have to say about each of these situations?

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