“We don’t go there.” I’ve heard many express that sentiment about their family. I think of couples who refuse to talk about sex, or the family that hides dad’s explosive anger. When such toxic behaviors become normalized, they turn into dysfunction. From the outside, anyone can recognize these areas of avoidance as a sign of dysfunction. The pain of pressing into such challenging areas hinders the full formation and growth of healthy familial relationships.
Would You Help The Hurting?
During a crisis, we feel a sense of urgency to step in and take charge. But we must wisely sit in the backseat if we want our assistance to have long term effectiveness. If the affected population is not bought-in in terms of leadership and on-the-ground help, aid fails. In fact, there have been many instances where outside help has shown to be unnecessary and unhelpful. In short, “Avoid paternalism. Do not do things for people that they can do for themselves.”
This Week's Recommendations
Biblically Accurate Angels Would Be Pretty Scary: Over at History Defined the various descriptions of angels in scripture are considered and the results don’t look at all like the offerings from Precious Moments. For instance, “The prophet Ezekiel’s vision of cherubim is depicted in the Book of Ezekiel in which they are portrayed as having four faces — one of an eagle, one a human, one an ox, and finally a lion. Cherubim have straight legs, four wings (one set covers their body while the other is used for flying), and bull hooves for feet.” [For what it’s worth, I believe that the author’s conclusion that the authors are struggling to find appropriate language for heavenly creatures is true, although I also think many of these images include biblical allusions that speak to their character more than their appearance.]
Stop Throwing Pastors Under the Bus: I hesitate to include this as it feel self-serving, but I appreciate Brent McCracken’s perspective here. Without letting pastors off the hook, he encourages congregants to consider their motives when they are quick to criticize, “Are our calls for a pastor to denounce that particular sin in “the culture” matched by our invitation for him to call us out on our own sin?”
Shaken to Bear Fruit: Tim Challies reflects on how his son’s death shook him. He begins, “The strange machine along the streets of Madrid seized my attention. Its long arms reached out and wrapped themselves around the trunk of a tree. Its motor vibrated those arms at high speeds so they could shake the tree violently. Its net sat suspended just beneath the lowest branches. As the machine buzzed and roared, a hundred ripe oranges fell from the branches to land in the net below — a hundred ripe oranges that could feed and satisfy a hundred people. That machine was carefully designed to release the fruit from the tree — to release it by shaking.
A Reflection on Barna’s Open Generation Report: This is important for anyone with a heart for the rising generation. Nick Hartman highlights some important findings, “One of the most striking discoveries of Open Generation, vol. 1, was that an overwhelming majority of teenagers call themselves Christians. 52% of teenagers identify as Christians, but this study also noted that ‘only 50 percent among teens who identify as Christians say Jesus was resurrected; not even half (44%) say Jesus was God in human form.’”
When You Feel Overwhelmed: Lauren Washer begins, “My eye started twitching about ten days before he left, and at my annual well visit on the day prior to his departure, my blood pressure was higher than it has ever been.”
Listen To Your Life
My wife, Angel, is very comfortable with quiet. I admire her ability to sit peacefully and listen to God. She intentionally shut down social media over a year and a half ago. Me? Not so much. I work out with audiobooks or podcasts as my audio backdrop. I write with music on.
There are benefits to this audio soundscape in which I live. It means that I input quite a lot of information. I benefit from the teaching of many wise voices and am grateful for the gift of music, which inspires, soothes, and convicts me through the Holy Spirit.
The problem with a life of input is that it can choke out self-reflection and even the voice of God.
The Front Lines
In JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, two of Frodo’s hobbit companions, Merry and Pippin, get kidnapped by the orcs and eventually are rescued by the Ent, Treebeard. Meanwhile, the rest of the Fellowship prepare to confront Saruman and his forces at Isengard, attempting to weaken him so that Frodo and Sam can complete their mission to destroy the ring. In Peter Jackson’s movie adaptation, Merry and Pippin beg the council of Ents (called Entmoot) to make haste so that they can join their friends on the verge of war. They can’t bear to think of not being able to engage side-by-side with their comrades in a fight with such high stakes.
Do you ever feel like you are stuck at Entmoot, watching slow-footed and slow-tongued friends confused about the difference between orcs and hobbits, good and evil, and unsure whether a battle at distant Isengard has anything to do with them? It sometimes feels that we Americans are far from the front lines of the spiritual battle. We are slow-footed and lack urgency.
The Questions Jesus Asked
We have lots of questions for God, like:
· “Why do bad things happen?”
· “Why is there only one way to heaven?”
· “Why are some people who follow you hypocrites?”
· “Why don’t you make it more obvious that you are God?”
God invites questions. He wants us to ask him questions! But these questions haunt some. For some, these questions create confusion and stall their faith journey. For others, these questions cause faith to deepen as they wrestle through them with God.
But the path between us and heaven is not one way. God asks us questions, too.
Do you think God has questions for you? What questions does God have for us[DC1] ? When[DC2] God put on flesh and dwelt among us, he offered answers, to be sure. But he asked many questions as well.
What questions did Jesus ask that we ought to answer? As we look at the questions Jesus asks, we find that most of his questions have to do with who he is and what he has done. He also asks heart questions about our motives and sin.
Reflect upon these questions Jesus asks us.
He asks us about our worries:
· And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? Matt 6:27
· And why are you anxious about clothing? Matt 6:28
That Isn’t a Toy!
“That isn’t a toy!” parents warn a child playing with a knife or a hammer.
Pharaoh thought he could play a game with God and win. He lost.
Your heart is not a toy.
The story of God’s battle with Pharaoh in the book of Exodus is the story of the consequences of a hardened heart. It’s the story of someone who thought they could toy with God and with their heart. We cannot.
This Week's Recommendations
Why the Search for the Church that Meets Your Needs is Futile: Carey Nieuwhof asks, “Should the criteria of a church meeting your needs be the reason you change churches? Well, what if the church was never intended to meet your needs? What if the furthest thing from God’s mind when he created the church was to meet your needs?”
Why You Should Name and Feel Even Negative Emotions: Lara D’Entremont reflects, “I rarely dealt with or named my emotions—at least not the “negative” ones. They had to be killed, banished, ignored, and stuffed. I learned this from both Christian circles (like the counselor above) and my own fears. I didn’t want others to see my emotions. Negative emotions always equaled sin and weakness in my mind, a reason for people to look down their noses at me. So I tried to kill my negative feelings with kindness—or gratitude. But what if there’s goodness in every emotion—even in the ones we don’t like so much?”
Expressive Individualism and the Death of Mental “Illness” Samuel James’s point is worth considering. He says, “Here’s one guess: Personality profiling is the last politically-acceptable way of receiving an identity, rather than crafting one. And many people today are weary of crafting their own custom identity and would very much like to belong to something instead.”
Prayers That God Will Not Answer: Tim Challies begins, “There are times when it seems like God does not hear us. There are times when it seems like God has become deaf to our prayers and unresponsive to our cries. There are times when we seek but do not find, knock but do not find the door opened. Why is it that God sometimes does not answer our prayers?”
Beneath Our Social Justice Strife: Thaddeus Williams has four questions for both sides. He begins, “Over the last five years, the topic of social justice has become something of a jackhammer in some churches, reducing congregations to rubble, shaking denominations, even fracturing fellowship between old friends. Online cloisters have formed in which anyone to our left must be a social-justice-warrior snowflake or a neo-Marxist. And, in other cloisters, anyone to our right is probably a white supremacist or a neo-Nazi. Meanwhile, the exhausted majority feels caught in the crossfire, hoping for some new way forward.”
This Week's Recommendations
A Call to Raise Daughters Wise to Domestic Abuse: Excellent article by Jeremy Pierre. He begins, “’If your future husband ever lays a finger on you, you better tell me so I can kill him.’ This is the extent to which many dads address abuse with their daughters. It feels effective because it’s simple, protective, and tough. And it also feels kind of awesome to say.
Loving With a Limp: Chris Thomas writes, “Maybe, like Jacob, an encounter with God will leave you living life with a limp, serving with a limp, worshiping with a limp; loving with a limp.”
Cords Have Memory: Lauren Washer likens the memory of electrical cords with our inner lives. “Our inner lives have a similar type of cord memory. We inherit ideas, values, and belief systems from our families, faith backgrounds, and cultural surroundings. Many of these are good and right. But sometimes, the way we’ve always done things or thought about things, isn’t good.”
Bend Me Toward the Light: Glenna Marshall says, “When I find myself spending copious amounts of time pursuing distractions, my prayer has become one of crooked house plants and branchy, horizontal azaleas: “Lord, bend me toward the Light.” Distractions are just that—distractions. We aren’t meant to spend our time and mental margin on things that do not feed our souls. We’ll wither up and die without spiritual nourishment, especially if our flesh is yearning for what the world offers”
The Anatomy of an Apology: Justin Hale responds to this question, “I recently did something hurtful to a family member. Shortly afterward, I said I was sorry but the person didn’t seem to accept my apology. I’ve tried to reach out but they are giving me a bit of a “cold shoulder.” They still seem bugged about what I did. I feel like I’ve done my part and now it’s up to them to accept the apology. Should I be looking at this differently?”
Praying for Women with Unwanted Pregnancies
Several weeks ago I offered a prayer in the wake of the leaked decision that will likely overturn Roe v. Wade and send the determination of the limitations of abortion back to each state. I also pray for the many women who are fearful as they navigate unexpected and perhaps unwanted pregnancies. I pray for men who selfishly coerce their girlfriends and wives to have abortions. I pray for abusive men to repent and seek help. I pray for protection women who are in abusive relationships. Below is a slightly amended prayer for women who are struggling right now with these types of pregnancies. Would you continue to join me in prayer?