Spiritual Growth

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What To Do When I Can't Feel

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What To Do When I Can't Feel

“I’m not sure how to explain how I’m feeling.” I’ve heard a variation of this phrase dozens (probably hundreds) of times in my office, predominantly by men. They look down into the well of emotion and all they see is blackness. Others struggle with the ability to identify their emotions beyond angry or happy. Some people feel disconnected or indifferent toward others or in response to events. Emotionally numb people may struggle with expressing outwardly what is felt inwardly.

If you see yourself or a loved one in this description, you might be recognizing emotional numbness.

Emotional numbing is an understandable response to protect ourselves from pain. It can arise from trauma or simple emotional neglect.

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Believer, beware

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Believer, beware

I grew up in the age of Neil Anderson and Frank Peretti, two Christian authors who used their pens to try to enlighten their audiences about the power and pervasiveness of the spiritual world. I can still picture the claws descending from heaven on the cover of Peretti’s This Present Darkness that spooked me as a child.

 As I developed theologically, especially through the influence of Reformed thinkers, I began to set aside these influences, which now felt naïve. To focus on the demonic forces of the world seemed to leave people with magical worldviews, where they held very little power over their own actions, and diminished the importance of mortifying the flesh as disciples of Jesus.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Every nightmare starts as a dream: Erik Raymond warns us, “No one sets out to bring misery upon themselves. Quite the opposite. They are looking for fulfillment. They want happiness. They are chasing the dream. But remember, every nightmare starts as a dream.”

  2. Pain needs interpreting: Simon Arscott, “My job is to help people interpret their pain. Pain itself – though very unpleasant – doesn’t tell us much. It hurts. It’s uncomfortable. It’s upsetting. We don’t want it. Often, we just want it to go away! But good spiritual care requires interpretation of our pain.”

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Thank You, Roger Barrier

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Thank You, Roger Barrier

Roger Barrier was my childhood pastor. Roger was a faithful expositor of scripture and a gentle shepherd. He had a quick, shy smile and a calm presence. As much as anyone, Roger taught me to love and become a student of the Word. Roger taught me to pray. “Lord, make me a man of God at any and all costs.” I have prayed that prayer countless times in my life. And, just as Roger warned, it has been a costly prayer.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Finding rest in God’s eternality: Lara d’Entremont reflects, “On days like this, I long for eternal strength. I wish I never became weak or faint. I wish I could stay up into the late hours of the night finishing all these projects without taking a break. Sometimes I even try to push through, knowing I’ll pay for it that night as I try to fall asleep with a racing mind and throbbing feet.”

  2. Is the Bible pro-life? Scott Klusendorf begins, “Abortion-choice advocates with the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice and Planned Parenthood Federation of America contend that the Bible is silent on abortion, and that none of the Scriptures traditionally cited by pro-life advocates establishes the humanity of the unborn.

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The Day Before

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The Day Before

In high school, I swam competitively. The day before a swim meet was "holy." Some would say, more holy than the meet itself.  From the second I woke up to the moment my head hit the pillow, I was 'in the zone.'  Even though I was present for class and for conversations, I wasn't, not really.  I was at the meet.  I was in the pool.  I was pulling my strokes.  There were nerves in that place, excitement, expectation.  At practice that night, we wouldn't go as hard; we would go for a longer distance to boost the stamina of our lungs.  

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Are Your Resolutions Slipping?

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Are Your Resolutions Slipping?

Did you set any New Year’s resolutions for yourself this year? Perhaps you committed to a diet, to a workout plan, or to regular devotional times.

 

Are you as devoted as much now to your resolution as you were four weeks ago?

 

Perhaps you’ve dropped the ball and become frustrated with yourself. Or you decided not to even make resolutions this year because you have failed to keep them in past years. So why not just give up on making resolutions forever? Because a good and wholesome character is the outcome of consistently and healthfully formed habits. Author James Clear encourages us, “Every action you take is a vote for the kind of person you wish to become.” Educational expert Sean Covey doubles down, “We become what we repeatedly do.”

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Don't Floss Before You Go To Church

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Don't Floss Before You Go To Church

We’re moving quickly. “We’ve got just enough time. Let’s go!” My wife and I had run an errand on our day off and had a dentist appointment in 45 minutes. If we didn’t get caught in traffic we would just be able to get home, brush, floss, swish some Listerine, and then head to our afternoon dentist appointment. Why? Because in our world, you don’t show up to a dentist appointment without your teeth in their best condition.

Two days later I drop my car off at the shop. It has a strange squeak that has me nervous. I haven’t so much as popped the hood. The car isn’t washed and a fine powder of crumbs dusts the backseat.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. What are people of no faith looking for in faith conversations? Barna reports, “In our survey, responses are clear: The top thing people look for in a conversation with a Christian is that they “listen without judgment.” People of no faith are also hoping for honesty about questions and doubts, and they don’t want forced conclusions. The best learning environment, they express, is one marked by care and consideration.”

  2. Contributing factors to a crushed spirit according to Proverbs: Lee Lewis evaluates what causes a crushed spirit and offers hope. “Proverbs offers much more than a simple diagnostic to help discern the crushed in spirit. The book offers wisdom for helping a person see the different criteria and contributing factors that can lead to a crushed spirit.”

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The Danger of Ingratitude

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The Danger of Ingratitude

There is a deadly toxin that contaminates the air we breathe. It’s a poison that, if we are aware of it at all, seems innocuous to us both because everyone else is breathing it in, and as far as we’re aware of it, others are breathing more of it in than us.

The poison is ingratitude. And it is everywhere.

Everything (that I don’t have) is Awesome

Psychologists agree that social media has made us less happy. Why is that? Because the constant access into others’ lives taps into our propensity toward ingratitude. We are surrounded by neighbors with nicer cars, friends who take better and longer vacations, couples who are happier, and everyone seems to be fitter and better dressed than we are. And it’s all there for us to see tucked into that powerful, shiny rectangle in our pockets. Every minute of every day.

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